Russell Crowe Thinks He Saw a UFO, Uploads Video to YouTube Like Every Other Wacko
Stars, they’re just like us! When they catch a weird anomaly on camera, they immediately upload it to YouTube and claim they saw a UFO. Read More
This Happened
Dating Site Offers California Town $11.65M to Change Its Name to SugarDaddie.com, USA
Woodside, California is a quaint, wealthy suburb in San Mateo County, situated about 20 minutes from the tech hub of Palo Alto. Because of its close proximity to big tech companies like Google and Facebook, many wealthy entrepreneurs (including Larry Ellison!) call Woodside home. And now, because of its plethora of eligible rich men, online dating startup SugarDaddie.com, which unites “wealthy, desirable and attractive people,” has offered the town $11.65 million to officially change its name to SugarDaddie.com, USA.
It’s not the worst idea we’ve ever heard. Read More
Even Dennis Rodman Is Going to North Korea Now
One unexpected result of Eric Schmidt’s bizarre mission to North Korea? The Google chairman has apparently paved the way for “basketball diplomacy” between our two nations. The AP reports that former Chicago Bulls player and Carmen Electra ex Dennis Rodman is visiting Pyongyang with a Vice documentary crew. Let’s hope Vice remembers to scrub the metadata from any sensitive photos this time.
Professor Watches Porn on Projector in Empty Classroom Without Realizing He’s Being Recorded
Look, if you’re gonna watch porn in class, at least be discreet about it. That may seem like obvious advice, but some people apparently need a little reminder. Read More
EHarmony Founder Wants to Spend $10 Million to ‘Figure Out’ Homosexuality
On television, eHarmony cofounder Neil Clark Warren seems like a pleasantly nutty character, the kind of aw-shucks senior citizen who says things like, “What I really need is a robot who can come in and talk with me” when his wife isn’t feeling chatty, and that eHarmony’s biggest problem “is people who are afraid to find the person who would be the right person for them.” Read More
Man Caught Swinging a Klingon Sword in Traffic Is Named Johnnie Blade, Of Course
There are some Star Trek fans who really take their love for the series to dangerous extremes. This reporter may or may not have gotten her boyfriend a Star Trek bathrobe last Valentine’s Day, but stocking up on dangerous Klingon weapons seems like taking your fandom one step too far. Read More
Union Square Subway Station Ad Achieves Peak Internet
A billboard in the Union Square station is kind of like the Inception of Internet references, collecting every advertiser’s notion of what is cool/hip on the web and slapping it onto one delightful subway ad. Read More
Cats’ Rights Group Attacks ‘Anti-Cat’ Propaganda in New York Times
A group of cats rights activists are decidedly not amused by the recent backlash against the Internet’s favorite mascot. Last week, the New York Times ran a story called “That Cuddly Kitty Is Deadlier Than You Think” based on a Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute report, which set off a firestorm of “Cats are killers!” stories–angering cat ladies everywhere. Read More
Video
Guy Films YouTube Plea for a Threeway, Any Week Works for Him
Just because you’re engaged doesn’t mean you don’t have a hidden desire for a threesome. Meet Zach. He’s “Cynthia’s fiancee” [sic], and he is interested in having a threesome. The video is targeted at Cynthia’s friend Zoe, but we’re sure you could convince him to consider you. Read More
Dedicated Method Actor Ashton Kutcher Was Hospitalized for Trying Steve Jobs’s All-Fruit Diet
Move over, Josh Brolin: there’s a new uber-dedicated method actor in town, and his name is Aplusk.
If you thought the recently released clip of the Steve Jobs biopic Jobs looked a lot like Ashton Kutcher walking and talking just like Ashton Kutcher but in a black turtleneck, you obviously underestimate his dedication to his craft. USA Today reports that just prior to shooting Jobs, Mr. Kutcher was briefly hospitalized for submerging himself a little too deeply into the character. In an attempt to get closer to his hippie entrepreneur character, Mr. Kutcher adopted Mr. Jobs’s all-fruit-and-nut diet. Read More
