The Final Frontier
The Mars Rovers have been roaming around the red planet collecting important scientific data that could help NASA determine whether or not there are ALIENS. But as any high school student will tell you, sometimes science class gets boring after a while, and you just have to do what your (robotic) heart tells you: draw penises all over stuff. Read More
Stephany Cohen is a British psychic with a mass of rainbow dreads and a very exciting sex life. She appeared today on the U.K. TV network ITV1’s program This Morning, where she discussed the various sexual encounters she frequently has with alien species–both of the cat and reptile variety! Read More
Dennis M. Hope is in real estate, but not of the earthly sort. He’s actually been selling properties on the moon, Mars and other planets since 1980 from his office in Gardnerville, Nevada.
This weekend, The New York Times ran a short documentary about Mr. Hope and his lunar real estate business, which is of questionable legal standing. Mr. Hope believes that he owns the moon due to a legal loophole in Article Two of the Outer Space Treaty of 1967. Read More
Rocket scientists are cool–have you seen that NASA mohawk guy?–but with the growth of the commercial space industry, they were bound to get eclipsed by swashbuckling adventurers with a mind for intergalactic exploration. Enter the Asteroid Hunter, the newest position of badassery, second only to the child who came to our house dressed as “half unicorn, half rockstar” on Halloween. Read More
News has been swirling that PayPal vet and SpaceX founder Elon Musk is hellbent on creating a colony on Mars specifically targeting vegetarians. PETA, of course, immediately jumped on the idea, demanding that instead of making the colony vegetarian, it should obviously be vegan.
Now, Mr. Musk has spoken out on his Twitter account saying that, yes, he would like to get tech people to Mars, but no, he is not the red planet’s vegan-loving leader. Read More
Advanced 3D printing technology is getting close to resembling replicators from Star Trek and iPads look a whole lot like the gadgets Geordi was always carrying around. Now, physicists have taken another step towards making Starfleet technology a reality by inventing a working tractor beam, which is essentially a laser that can move things. Sure, currently it can only move itty bitty molecules, but the fact that it works at all opens up all sorts of exciting possibilities.
NYU professors David Ruffner and David Grier have developed a way to harness Bessel beams in order to pull particles towards a laser source. The result is the beginnings of a very tiny tractor beam capable of moving silica spheres suspended in water. Read More
Millennial icon Bill Nye the Science Guy, whom this reporter once had the immense pleasure of interviewing, currently serves as the CEO of the Planetary Society. There, he’s worked to raise awareness about the Curiosity Rover’s mission to Mars, as well as advised Elon Musk on what the space research community needs out of a commercial space program. (“We need cheap access to orbit,” Mr. Nye told us in an interview. “It’s the key first step. Getting to orbit right now is too expensive.”)
Mr. Nye is working to raise awareness about NASA’s gutted space exploration budget. Yesterday, his team published a YouTube video of Mr. Nye urging viewers to send a letter to the President, asking him to restore the budget. Read More
When we learned that the Mars Curiosity Rover had discovered a “shiny object” while searching the red planet, we worried that Mars would be the first planet saddled with human colonization–and we haven’t even established a Prime Directive yet! But with news today that Yale University scientists have discovered a nearby planet with a mantle made of diamonds, we’re picturing a California gold rush-style mission to its surface. Ready your engines, Richard Branson. Read More