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SMDH

We Can’t Make Heads or Tails of This Bizarre Ad for Clinkle

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While you spent the summer day-drinking, the wunderkind founder of mysterious payments startup “Clinkle” was hard at work. Three months on, it’s no clearer what the startup, which was somehow able to net a $25 million seed round, actually does. Yet AllThingsD reports that the company has managed to sign Richard Branson as yet another investor.

Clinkle has also debuted an ad to sell us on the merits of this as-yet-unrevealed piece of technology. Rather than getting specific, though, they decided to go high concept. In fact, we’d say it’s all concept, no pitch. Read More

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This Woman Is Trying to Crowdfund Her Way Out of Prison Time

That's a long way to go.

Back in March, the Daily News reports, one Renata Shamrakova pled guilty to grand larceny and evidence tampering. She was accused of stealing nearly a million dollars from hedge funder Todd Meister, ex-husband of Nikki Hilton (sister to Paris). Supposedly, she was working as his assistant and used his credit cards to buy “clothes, furniture, international trips and jewelry,” though she claimed she was his lover.

Now she’s got to come up with $821,000 to pay him back, or else she faces jail time. The popularity of Orange is the New Black doesn’t seem to have inspired a fad for going behind bars. So she’s trying to raise the money on the crowdfunding site Go Fund Me, with a campaign questionably named “Restitution for Renata.” Uh, isn’t the restitution for Mr. Meister? Read More

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The Latest FWD.us Ad Will Make You Want to Expatriate Yourself

CANOEING-US-OUTRIGGER-CANOES-RACE

FWD.us really ought to throw up a job listing for someone with a clue. Check out their latest misstep, via the Verge: a rewritten version of “The New Colossus,” the sonnet famously inscribed at the foot of the Statue of Liberty, which begins: “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.”

In the latest ad from Zuck and friends, the poem now diverges into: “And give me the influencers and the dreamers, talent that is searching for purpose, those dedicated to the doing. Send all these, the boundless borne to me.” Read More

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No Big Deal, Some Iranian Dude Just Says He Invented a Time Machine

Not even close! (Photo: Wikimedia Commons)

Tsk, tsk: Doesn’t anyone have any respect for basic science fictional concepts any more? The Telegraph reports that a scientist in Iran has registered something he calls “The Aryayek Time Traveling Machine.” But before everyone gets super psyched about watching Thomas Jefferson write the Declaration of Independence, the description of the device suggests it’s been woefully misnamed. Read More