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Play Your Video Games

Play Your Video Games

I Can’t Stop Playing Candy Crush But That’s a Ridiculous Reason to IPO

WHY WON'T THE CHOCOLATES STOP

Screw the tasteful minimalism of Dots: I am completely, hopelessly addicted to the gloriously tacky Candy Crush.

I play it on the subway, riding the elevator, in bed trying to fall asleep at night. It’s killing my battery. I’ve resorted to begging friends for additional moves, in hopes of escaping the replicating chocolate squares of level 65.

Nor am I alone in my addiction: According to App Data, it’s currently the most popular app on Facebook. It even makes real money off in-game purchases from desperate obsessives like yours truly.

That’s really not enough to justify an IPO, though. And yet the Wall Street Journal says that’s exactly what the makers of Candy Crush want. Read More

Play Your Video Games

New Xbox Gives Dickheads a Chance to Mansplain the Lack of Women in Video Games All Over Again

Anita Sarkeesian. (Screencap: YouTube)

It’s not hard to find vitriol on the Internet. But if you’re fiending for a reason to hang your head in shame re: humanity, tweeting about the lack of female representation in video games seems to be the perfect way to coax bilious haters out of the woodwork.

Feminist media critic Anita Sarkeesian made a simple observation yesterday and blasted it out on Twitter. “Thanks, #XboxOne #E3 press conference for revealing to us exactly zero games featuring a female protagonist for the next generation,” she said. Within minutes, a diarrheal flow of fury was unleashed upon her as a puerile crop of gargoyles attempted to put her in her place. Read More

Play Your Video Games

Teen on House Arrest Grows ‘Sick of Playing Xbox,’ Asks for Jail Time Instead

(Photo: suite101.com)

After 10 months on house arrest, a 19-year-old New Zealander has requested to serve the rest of his 11-month sentence in prison, as he’s grown “sick of playing Xbox.”

The New Zealand Herald reports that the unnamed man called up the local police station, told them he had “run out of Xbox games to play,” and would rather spend the final month of his sentence in a dark cell with other smelly dudes than shoot another stupid animated zombie. Read More

Play Your Video Games

Teenager Ruins Perfectly Good Sleepover By Destroying Friend’s Roleplaying Account

LOL, "RuneScape."

Talk about the worst sleepover ever: A Welsh teenager appeared in court Monday for logging on to his now-former friend’s profile for an online roleplaying game and trading away six years’ worth of credits. He wanted to get back at his friend for an earlier argument in the world’s most mature manner.

Further entrenching his status as a complete dick, suspect Keiron Belmont, 19, also stole two bottles of booze before fleeing. He was staying at victim Helen Jenkin’s house, who told the court that Mr. Belmont had unlawfully accessed her partner’s computer, entered the RuneScape account and depleted a half-decade’s worth of hard gaming. Read More

Play Your Video Games

All of Life Is a Zelda Game to Dennis Crowley

(Photo: Flickr)

If there was one salient lesson gleaned from the two-hour, day-glo sex romp that was Harmony Korine’s Spring Breakers, it was this: just pretend that life’s a video game. As it turns out, Foursquare CEO Dennis Crowley maintains the same mantra. At the Twofixsix conference in Brooklyn, presented by gaming magazine Kill Screen, Mr. Crowley told the crowd that his success in tech largely hinges on his love of video games. Read More

Play Your Video Games

Seeking a Cheap Thrill? Play Social Roulette and Risk a One in Six Chance of Having Your Facebook Account Deleted

(Photo: Social Roulette)

Update: Facebook has revoked API access for Social Roulette, effectively killing the app. Bang.

If you’ve long considered acquiescing to the groans of privacy wonks and straight up deleting your Facebook account, but couldn’t quite bring yourself to commit social media suicide, we may have found a solution for you.

Social Roulette is a game that gives you a one in six chance of deleting your Facebook account. If you lose, the game will delete all of your posts, friends, photos and other elements of your profile before completely deactivating it. If you’re lucky enough to survive, the message “I just played Social Roulette and survived” will be published to your wall. Read More

Play Your Video Games

Goodbye Cruel World: You Can Now Order Pizza Hut From Your Xbox

Art. (Photo: Polygon)

The future is finally here: Microsoft and Pizza Hut have launched a new app for Xbox Live that lets users order the Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza (and other assorted items!) straight from their Xbox 360.  Users link their Xbox Live and Pizza Hut accounts (who has a Pizza Hut account?) and then purchases can be made via the game controller, voice input or Kinect gestures, which totally counts as exercise. Read More

Play Your Video Games

EA Is Even Less Popular Than Bank of America, Which Is Pretty Bad

Could've gone better.

Does anything rouse anger quite like gaming? Consumerist has just concluded its tournament for the worst company in America, and for the second year in a row, Electronic Arts took the top spot. That means Consumerist readers hate EA even worse than Bank of America, a company that’ll basically pick your pocket if you let your bank balance drop below a certain threshold. It wasn’t even close: 78 percent of voters picked EA. Read More