Ballmer Time

Ballmer Time

Nobody Puts Ballmer In a Corner: Microsoft CEO’s Send-Off Includes Dancing to ‘I’ve Had the Time of My Life’ [Update]

Miss u boo (Photo: Wikimedia)

Last month, longtime Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer announced that he would be leaving the company within a year, and so the goodbyes began. The Verge reports that yesterday Mr. Ballmer held his final company meeting as CEO, and it sounds like he went out playing the role of Steve Ballmer, Tech Industry Character, to the hilt. Read More

Ballmer Time

RAMPAGE! Steve Ballmer Bound and Determined to Bring Basketball to Seattle

Maybe tone it down just a tad.

Looks like we’ve got a real barn-burner on our hands!

For months, hedge funder Chris Hansen and Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer have worked to relocate the Sacramento Kings to Seattle, which has been NBA-less for five years. Their plan: to make the owners, the Maloofs, an offer they can’t refuse.  But the mayor of Sacramento–who happens to be former NBA star Kevin Johnson–doesn’t want the team going anywhere. He’s rounded up rival techies who might buy from the Maloofs and prepared a big bushel of subsidies for them. Last month, the league rejected the Seattle group’s request to move the team.

And so here we are, at loggerheads and due for another NBA meeting today. But Steve Ballmer doesn’t do gridlock. A source tells NBC Sports: Read More

Ballmer Time

Rival Techies From the South Challenge Steve Ballmer’s Plans to Own a Basketball Team

Here is a GIF of this amazing moment.

Curses! Steve Ballmer and his fellow investors have almost closed a deal to bring NBA basketball back to Seattle, a city that’s been bereft since the Sonics were sold. The group has already cut a deal with the current owners of the Sacramento Kings to purchase a controlling interest in the team. The only hurdle left is securing the NBA’s approval.

That means the tech world is so, so close to an endless supply of court-side Ballmer GIFs. Just imagine!  Read More

Ballmer Time

Microsoft and Its Business Partners are Being ‘Probed’ About Bribery Allegations

This is a Surface. (Photo: Microsoft)

Was that a bellow of rage we just heard from the direction of Redmond? The Wall Street Journal reports that the DOJ and SEC are poking around Microsoft as part of an investigation into business partners (like resellers and consultants) who maaaybe secured software contracts by bribing foreign officials.

Well, that would be one way to keep Windows running on every desktop. Read More

Ballmer Time

Bill Gates Is Now the Dowager Countess of Microsoft

(Photo: Screencap)

We just realized something: He doesn’t have the same ease with a zinger, but at this point in the history of Microsoft, Bill Gates is basically the company’s Dowager Countess.

Think about it. As chairman, he’s long since removed himself from the day-to-day running of the estate, preferring to focus full-time on his philanthropic projects. But like the grand Lady Grantham, he’s still kicking around, keeping one eye on how his successor is faring and forming his own opinion on the troubling remodel of the guest bedrooms, not that you asked (which you should have).

Hence, this exchange with Charlie Rose, during a recent interview with CBS News: Read More

Ballmer Time

Steve Ballmer Thinks Dropbox’s 100 M. Users Are Just So Cute

Miss u boo (Photo: Wikimedia)

While everyone’s busy at the BlackBerry presser (Alicia Keys? Really?), Microsoft also has a big release today: Office 2013. In honor of the occasion, CEO Steve Ballmer sat down with Bloomberg Businessweek for a brief Q&A. Inquiring minds want to know: How’s the old workhorse supposed to avoid the glue factory when any modernization has to be balanced with the needs of a billion customers? Read More

Ballmer Time

New Book About Microsoft Suggests Steve Ballmer Is Playing ‘Game of Thrones’

(Original photo: Wikipedia)

Gather ’round, children, for it is time to hear a tale of a kingdom riven by strife and mired in woe.  Our story opens on the proud capital city known as the Microsoft Redmond Campus, nestled amid the volcanic mountains of Washington.

In his modestly appointed chambers, the aging king is lonely. He has many fine troubadours and jousters to entertain him–but could one of his noblemen be conspiring to overthrow him? Better to dispatch the problem now, by dispatching the possible insurgent.

This is the mental image we can’t help but form after reading this Reuthers interview with Joachim Kempin, a former Microsoft exec who’s now written a tell-all with the clunky title of Resolve and Fortitude:  Microsoft’s “SECRET POWER BROKER” Breaks His Silence. Read More