(Photo: Macgasm)

Today in rich people things: the custom $100 million euro superyacht that Steve Jobs had commissioned to be built prior to his death has been impounded in Amsterdam, where it will spend the holidays dejectedly picking up women in the red light district in an attempt to distract itself from the startling financial reality that has befallen it.

Phillipe Starke, the French designer of the sleek minimalist yacht, claims he has only received 6 million of his 9 million euro commission, and had the yacht repo'd until Steve Jobs' estate coughs up the dough. The yacht, named Venus, has been reportedly heard muttering to other boats in the harbor about why he couldn't have been built for P. Diddy instead.

The vessel is not allowed to leave Amsterdam until the payment dispute is settled, which is fine, said the boat, because "they have weed here!"

Reached for comment, the yacht grumbled, "What was that about 'staying foolish?'"

Pretend to be Jay-Z and Beyonce, if only for a day. (Photo: We Got This Covered)

Not all of us can afford luxurious yachts on which to sunbathe and drink Moet and count our jewels, no matter how hard we wish to be Captain Larry Ellison. But a new startup in Athens, Greece wants to help everyone feel like a glamorous seafarer, if only for a day.

Wired reports that next month two Greek businessmen are planning to launch Incrediblue, a boat rental marketplace for yachtmasters and wannabes alike. Rich people can list their boats for curious vacationers hoping to get their fix of the open sea to rent hourly, daily or weekly. Incrediblue plans to charge 15 percent for its services, undercutting most traditional boat brokers (because that is a thing, apparently).

It's basically Airbnb, but for motherfucking yachts.

Writes Wired:

Tourists or others who wish to rent out a boat can choose from Incrediblue’s listings based on type of boat, cost, availability, and user reviews. Once you pick a boat, you send a reservation request to the owner and pay for your voyage once the request gets approved. If you can’t sail a boat or yacht, you can even hire a skipper on the site to do the driving while you sit back and sip cocktails on deck. For now, you can rent a boat in Greece, Croatia, Turkey, and Portugal, but Incrediblue has plans to launch in Spain and France by early next year.

Sadly, once you turn the yacht keys in at the end of your rental, you'll be forced to confront the stark, devastating reality that you are still not Jay-Z.