Nope

LinkedIn Forced Its Employees to Celebrate “Cinco de LinkedIn” for Its 10th Birthday

This happened. (Photo: Flickr)

Looks like LinkedIn cofounder Reid Hoffman is just using any excuse to get shitfaced. In honor of the company’s tenth birthday, he created “Cinco de LinkedIn,” a real company event celebrated by its 3,700 employees.

Not only does it sound moderately offensive, like drunk-sorority-girl-loudly-practicing-her-Spanish-at-Blockheads obnoxious, but it is also numerically nonsensical. At last check, cinco is roughly translated to “five” and not “terrible fucking idea.” Read More

Linkages

Booting Up: Is Your News Feed About to Get More Crowded?

Gotcha! (Photo: In the Capital)

The FTC is said to be wondering whether it can actually pull off an antitrust case against Google, as consumers don’t seem too bothered by the company’s putting its own services before those of competitors. [Bloomberg]

Facebook is testing adding upcoming events and recently released albums–not sponsored posts, but not shared by friends, either–to the News Feed. [The Next Web]

A government advisory committee has filed objections to many of ICANN’s new top-level domains, from .islam to .wtf to .navy. [ZDNet]

HP says it’s lost almost $9 billion on the purchase of Autonomy because of shady accounting. But there are doubts about whether that really adds up. [Bloomberg]

Now whirring away in the computing museum at England’s Bletchley Park: the world’s oldest working computer, dating from 1951. [Extreme Tech]

Antisocial Media

Joining LinkedIn: Costing People Their Jobs?

How to Succeed in Business Using LinkedIn

Social platforms being given rise to the point where if you’re not on one people look at you like ‘For real?’ has also resulted in a rise in social networking flubs, the kind born of avoidable sheer stupidity resulting in people being convicted of crimes, cheating on spouses (and being caught), and of course, losing their jobs. So: What ridiculously avoidable act of sheer stupidity did 34 year-old John Flexman do on LinkedIn to lose his job?

He joined it. Read More

IN WHICH APPLE FIXES SOMETHING

Apple CEO Tim Cook on Siri’s Anti-Abortion Stance: ‘No Offense,’ Promises To Fix Her

It gets better. And it will.

On Tuesday, we noted that while iPhone voice-activated assistant Siri can’t help you find an abortion clinic in New York City—once called The Abortion Capital of America by New York magazine—it can help you find a gun store downtown, in a city with some of the most restrictive gun controls in the country. Apple didn’t respond to our query of why this was, but Apple CEO Tim Cook has finally spoken on the matter. Read More

WTF

Siri, The Pro-Lifer: iPhone Won’t Help Find NYC Abortion Clinic, But Will Get You Guns!

It gets better. And it will.

Megan Carpentier of Raw Story recently noted that Siri is having trouble telling users where to find abortion clinics, and not about abortion clinics in the middle of the Bible Belt, or in the frozen tundra of Alaska. We’re talking about places like New York City and Washington D.C. which, as you can imagine, might have a few of these places. We wanted to test this theory out. Maybe Siri just isn’t a fan of Megan’s? Or maybe Siri is being moody.

Know what we found? Read More

BALLER STATUS?

Gilt Groupe’s Gold-Plated Atari: The Perfect Gift For That Special Taste-Lacking Startup Baller in Your Life

Lil' Wayne Should Personally Administer A Beatdown To Anyone Who Legitimately Wants To Stunt With This

Say you know a special young person who happens to have an inordinate amount of money to spend on ridiculous things because they’ve been blessed with cash following the selling out of a great idea (or the selling of a terrible one) to someone with Scrooge McDuck-money. And let’s say you need to get them a gift, or simply, a gift for them to buy themselves, because you can’t afford anything they have a taste for in life anymore, even if that taste is strictly centered around nothing more than the factor of out-and-out opulence multiplied by the stupidity and lack of need for the potential gift in question.

Well, here you go. And yes, this is real: Read More