(Photo: 9 to 5 Mac)

Just this weekend we were sitting around wondering when exactly someone would create another Steve Jobs biopic. We already have the indie one starring Ashton Kutcher and the fast-talking, sure-to-be-sexist incarnation dreamt up by Aaron Sorkin. What we really need is a third one that can make fun of the other two.

Luckily Funny or Die has come to our rescue, announcing that they'll be putting a full-length comedic biopic about Mr. Jobs online on April 15th.

The "60 to 75 minute" film is called iSteve and will star Justin Long, he of Mac commercial fame, as Mr. Jobs, and Hurley from Lost as Woz. Sadly, John Hodgman (a.k.a. PC) won't be playing Steve "Sweaty" Ballmer, which we think is a real oversight.

"In true Internet fashion, it’s not based on very thorough research — essentially a cursory look at the Steve Jobs Wikipedia page,” Ryan Perez, the film's director, told The New York Times.

There, there, Ashton.

Mr. Sorkin (flickr.com/politicalpulse)

We almost missed it amid all the excitement, but yesterday Aaron Sorkin let slip a few more details regarding Sony's upcoming biopic of Steve Jobs, based on that doorstop of a Walter Isaacson biography. For one thing, they've hired Woz as an advisor on matters both technical and Jobs-related.

It also sounds like Mr. Sorkin will once again be making free with the poetic license:

"I know so little about what I am going to write. I know what I am not going to write. It can't be a straight ahead biography because it's very difficult to shake the cradle-to-grave structure of a biography, " Sorkin told Reuters in an interview for his upcoming HBO drama "The Newsroom."

This is just going to be Citizen Kane, but with computers, isn't it? Too bad Mr. Sorkin isn't enough of a nerd to make Mr. Jobs's blue box into the twenty-first century Rosebud.

Mr. Wozniak. (Photo: flickr.com/koeln_de)

There is a certain level of unenviable überfame at which every utterance and twitch merits a headline. Steve Jobs sent an email! Mark Zuckerberg wore a hoodie! On this plane of celebrity, every step is a statement.

Apple cofounder Steve Wozniak is one such überfamous personality. (We even covered the time he made $781 working from home.) Essentially retired, Mr. Wozniak, or Woz, as he's lovingly called, is good-natured enough not to mind being used as a proxy for the tight lips at Apple. He also has a low filter between his brain and his mouth. Repeatedly shunned by his former cofounder, Mr. Wozniak continued to speak out—about the white iPhone, about Bing, about whatever—and made multiple appearances on reality TV. We noticed that today, the Woz is featured in no fewer than three stories on Google News, partly due to a speaking tour in Australia. Roundup time!

1. "I don't have home internet, admits Apple founder Steve Wozniak," The Telegraph

Mr. Wozniak does not have Internet at home because his Internet provider is the cable company, which is a monopoly.

2. "Apple Founder Wozniak to Buy Facebook Regardless of Price," Bloomberg

It's unclear whether Woz will actually buy Facebook shares, but he certainly would in the hypothetical, he tells Bloomberg.

3. "Wozniak glad he never had to run Apple," ARN

Boy, is Woz glad he never ran Apple. Dodged a bullet on that one.

4. "Woz backs Apple Aussie price revolt," TechEye

IPhones are too expensive in Australia, Woz says, possibly due to protectionism and tariffs, or Apple price gouging.

5. "Woz Digs Windows Phone, But LG Doesn't," Information Week

Woz likes the tiles on the new Nokia Lumia 900.

6. "EXCLUSIVE: Steve Wozniak In Line For IPad 3 At Apple Store (VIDEO)," What's Trending

Woz has to wait in line for his iPads just like you.

7. "Woz supports Mike Daisey's message and says you should too," CNET

Woz strays from the party line on the Apple ankle-biter, whom he praised to Mr. Jobs.

8. "Apple Stock to Hit $1,000? Steve Wozniak Believes So," CNBC

Woz doesn't really follow the stock market, but he believes Apple will hit $1,000 a share.

9. "Wozniak: Tablet is the PC for 'normal people,'" ComputerWorld

Tablets are like TVs, Woz says, and they represent what Apple was all about from the beginning.

10. "Wozniak sorry he called ‘Dancing’ show ‘fake,’" MSNBC

Woz was upset about placing in the bottom two on "Dancing With the Stars," but he's calmed down now.