the robots are coming
There’s a polite way and a not-so-polite way to lose a government election. The polite way is to congratulate your opponent and bow out gracefully. The not-so-polite way is to accuse your opponent of being a robot.
The latter is happening in Oklahoma right now, where Timothy Ray Murray, a wannabe member of the U.S. House of Representatives, is contesting recent election results on the grounds that his opponent, incumbent Frank Lucas, was secretly executed in Ukraine and replaced by a robot body double. Mr. Murray, who lost the election with a measly 5.2 percent of votes, seems to think his revelations could give him another shot at the title.
the robots are coming
When it comes to bizarre smartphone accessories that make you question the future of humankind, Japan is on top of its game. Now, a Japanese company called Ratoken has released what might be the strangest product we’ve seen yet — and yes, we did report on those edible iPhone cases.
Ratoken is now selling the “Phablet finger,” the Daily Mail reports. Worn like a finger puppet, the fake finger extends the user’s thumb by 15mm, allegedly making it easier to operate smartphones with larger screens — like the soon-to-be-released iPhone 6 or the enormous Samsung Galaxy Mega.
In case you needed more proof that all our jobs will one day be occupied by robots, a Hong Kong V.C. firm has just named an artificial intelligence tool to its board of directors. The company’s also insisting the tool will be treated as an “equal” to the other board members.
Sure, it’s all probably a bid for press — but it’s still pretty funny.
A press release from Aging Analytics UK, a company that conducts research on biotechnology and regenerative medicine, made two announcements this morning: first, that they’ve launched an new A.I. tool called VITAL (Validating Investment Tool for Advancing Life Sciences); and second, that they’ve licensed VITAL to Hong Kong V.C. firm Deep Knowledge Ventures, where the tool will become an “equal member of its Board of Directors.”
Meanwhile in Canada
Reddit AMAs are incredible educational tools. They’ve taught us what it’s like to have two dicks; proved to us that Canadian stereotypes are all true; even illuminated Lil’ John’s fascinating opinions of snowboarding. And now, we finally know what it’s like to be a professional snuggler.
Yes, you’re reading that right: redditor KonekoPeach was not a professional smuggler, but a professional snuggler — as in, a person paid to crawl into bed with and wrap their arms around a lonely stranger for hours at a time, as she explained in an AMA yesterday.
She worked for a company called The Snuggle Buddies, which claims to be strictly non-sexual and charges anywhere from $60 for an hour-long snuggle sesh to $400 for a ten-hour overnight extravaganza. KonekoPeach seems to have generally enjoyed the experience, though she quit when she began to sense the whole thing was just maaaaybe a little sketchy and unsafe.
Remember that kooky Canadian family that banned all technology made after 1986? They’ve finally reached their goal of making it all the way to April 2014 — a noble pursuit, as we can’t go an hour without playing Doodle Jump.
Father Blair McMillan, 27, first imposed the ban when he invited his son, Trey, to come play outside, but Trey elected to play with his iPad instead.
Don't Sweat It
As we always say at Betabeat, who needs a real-life BF or GF when you can just make out with a pillow?
The fantasy is real! Instructables user emilygraceking has created the “Make-Out Practice Pillow for Valentine’s Day,” and has posted online directions showing viewers how they can make their own, too.
Maybe we’re just terrible people here at Betabeat, but there’s no cause, however charitable, that would move us to drink human armpit juice.
But apparently the fine, blonde people of Gothenburg, Sweden feel otherwise. According to the BBC, more than 1,000 Gothenburgers have consumed the fruits of a “sweat machine”—a contraption Read More
Don't Mess with Texas
The one thing still lacking in the American iPhone case market? Edibility.
Luckily, Japan’s got you covered. For $64 you can buy the “Survival Senbei Rice Cracker iPhone 5 Case,” which is shaped like an ordinary iPhone case, but handmade of brown rice and salt by someone suspiciously named “‘Mariko'” (quotation marks included).
FYI: Anyone looking for a good Apple deal this holiday season should probably steer clear of Texas gas stations.
Yahoo reports that a woman in Arlington, Texas purchased what she thought was a new iPad at a gas station. The man claimed to be selling the device–which normally retails for $800–for just $200.