Bad news, nerds. (screencap)

Watch Saturday Night Live skewer Google Glass-obsessed tech reporters. [The Verge]

A drone got stuck on a statue on top of a courthouse in Ohio. Welcome to the future! [AP]

"When some future Mars colonist is able to open his browser and watch a cat in a shark suit chasing a duck while riding a roomba, they will have Vint Cerf to thank." Mmmkay. [Wired]

Betabeat feels obliged to point out that the world's first 3D-printed gun, the "Liberator," has the same name as a sex pillow. [Forbes]

The sci fi folk at Tor Books say removing DRM hasn't put a dent in its ebook sales. [Ars Technica]

Just not the best fit, probably.

“What’s just depressing to me is how—and it’s not just for us, let me generalize it—the moment a company goes public the conversation shifts from how they’re trying to change the world and the product they’re building to how they’re making money.” Andrew Mason probably wasn't ready to be the CEO of a publicly traded company. [Fast Company]

Meanwhile, at TED: Vint Cerf is dreaming of a day when we can use the Internet to communicate with aliens. Dude must make it a point to believe six impossible things before breakfast. [Gizmodo]

Former Gilt CEO Susan Lyne is now Brand Group CEO at AOL. Resident enfant terrible Alexia Tsotsis published the memo and added, "As far as we can tell, Arianna, with her Hellenic iron fist, has retained her dominion over the HuffPost stronghold, and we’ll continue to push the boundaries of what we can do until we get fired." Noted! [TechCrunch]

In other shuffles, Federated Media founder John Battelle is once more CEO of the blog network that he founded, taking over for Deanna Brown, who is leaving for an unspecified new project. [Forbes]

Apple Fellow Guy Kawasaki is now advising Motorola. [Android Authority]

Cerf. (Wikipedia)

Vint Cerf is wishing the modern-day Internet a happy 30th birthday today. [Google]

Reddit had 37 billion page views and 400 million unique visitors in 2012. [Reddit]

If the New Year left your brain feeling like this GIF looks, we sympathize. [Daily Dot]

Here's a trend to watch for in 2013: Companies are pretending they want employees to spend some time away from their electronic devices. [NYT]

The new year will bring documentaries that aim to tell the history of Silicon Valley on public television. Again. [AllThingsD]

Lost in the hubbub over Hewlett-Packard's $8.8 billion loss on Autonomy was word in the company's 10-K—filed quietly during the last week of 2012—was a hint that CEO Meg Whitman may start spinning off businesses. [Bloomberg]

Did we mention that New York City's techies have New Year's resolutions? [Betabeat]