Love in the Time of Algorithms
Congress may have turned off the federal government, but it appears its jilted employees are more turned on than ever–and they’re finding satisfaction online in various ways.
First, the Internet caught wind of a series of Craigslist personal ads in which people purporting to be federal staffers sought consummation, sometimes for cash. Even some private-sector employees heroically put their pudenda on the line.
XXX in Tech
USB drives, it seems, are never around when you need them. Not only that, they’re frequently boring looking, amounting to barely more than little pieces of plastic and metal painted monochrome colors. It’s time to disrupt USB drives, don’t you think? Michael Topolovac, cofounder of Crave, certainly does, and that’s why he designed a USB drive that is also a vibrator. Wait…what?
XXX in Tech
First they came for smoking in parks, but we didn’t speak out because we don’t like to subject other people to our own waltz with death; then they came for the soda, but we didn’t speak out because we’re kind of impartial about sugary beverages. But when they came for the vibrators? That’s when shit got real.
The NYPD put the kibosh on Trojan’s vibrator giveaway yesterday, lamely claiming that the crowd had grown too large and Trojan needed a city permit.
“I’m 57 years old. I should be able to get a vibrator!” one outraged New York citizen told the New York Post, which could barely contain its glee at the overflowing opportunity for incredible puns.
Sex and the Alley
It’s the dog days of summer–humid and sticky and icky–so we can’t blame you if you’re looking for some sweet relief. If you’re pining for a pick-me-up that doesn’t involve an icy alcoholic beverage or a slab of street meat, perhaps Trojan can interest you in a lil’ somethin somethin.
According to the New York Times, the company is handing out free samples of its Tri-Phoria and Pulse “personal massagers.” You know what that means.