In an animated web video posted here, a pair of mail trucks cruise down a suburban street. The first truck, representing Google, gives way to a mail carrier armed with x-ray vision (or maybe Google Glass?) peers into an envelop, scans a keyword off the enclosed letter and uses the keyword to select a pair of coupons, which are slipped in with the letter.

On the other side of the street, the mailman carrying for Outlook, delivers a letter unopened, and proceeds to polish the mailbox.

It's not subtle, but then, what about Valentine's Day is?

(Screencap: You So Fucking Hot)

It's Valentine's Day, and whether you're in a steady relationship or planning to cap off the night watching porn and eating ice cream, you're probably having a lot of feels. With no desire to express them in a mature adult fashion, why not unleash anonymous Internet compliments on unsuspecting semi-strangers?

You So Fucking Hot lets you tweet anonymously at people you have Internet crushes on, just in time for Valentine's Day. It's basically a modern way to send a secret Valentine, minus the construction paper and glue. "Be Nice..." instructs the site, and so far it has been. "You're hotter than NSYNC live in concert. Happy Valentines Day!" reads one tweet. Aw.

The site is brought to you by the same team behind Can't Tweet This, which for a brief time was a gossippy way for the tech and advertising sets to vent their frustrations about the nature of their industries.That eventually devolved into what looks like a lot of spam.

Of course, there's always the chance that You So Fucking Hot could quickly escalate into a gross display of sexual harassment, but "that's the risk," said Brian Morrissey, who co-created the project with Brian Fouhy and Ben King.

"Dunno if putting 'Be nice' will matter," Mr. Morrissey told Betabeat by email. "Can't Tweet This was taken over by Turks, so I give up predicting the Internet."

Update: Well, that was fun while it lasted. Mr. Morrissey tells Betabeat that Twitter took down @YouSoFuckingHot, then reinstated it when they changed it to remove @ replies. Sending secret valentines on Twitter without @ replies kind of takes all the fun out of it, but oh well.

When the moon hits your eye etc. Flickr, Robert Couse-Baker

Valentine's Day, a holiday that exists largely to guilt the coupled into spending money and to drive the uncoupled to shell out for Match.com, falls on a Thursday this year. This is a problem, because Thursday might very well be the least romantic of all weekdays.

Well, the unlikeliest of saviors is riding to your rescue. On February 14, Uber will be offering in several cities the option of ordering a "Romance On-Demand" package, via its app. Included are a dozen long-stemmed roses and a personalized card. (Well, personalized in the sense your beloved's name will be printed on the card. If you wanted to send something handwritten, you should have planned in advance.)

This, from the company that previously tried to win you over with ice cream.

Here in New York, recipients might receive a little something extra:

A few lucky recipients will also receive additional Valentine’s swag (only if you want it!) such as a Ubear (a cuddly 5 foot tall teddy decked out in an Uber shirt) or goodies from Benefit Cosmetics.

All that, for a mere $150. In fact, Uber might want to send one of these lovely offerings to TLC Commissioner David Yassky? A bit of wooing never hurt anyone's case.

Unfortunately, if you'd like someone to show up at your lover's job and do a dramatic recitation of the juicy parts of Atlas Shrugged, you'll have to use Task Rabbit.

(Photo: Blogspot)

It's almost Valentine's Day, which means heartbroken people everywhere are hanging black trashbags on their windows in an attempt to mute the light, drinking screw-cap wine and binge watching The Notebook as a form of self-torture. But if you have a special someone that you're aching to win back in time to celebrate this romantic holiday, might we suggest chocolate or a heartfelt letter as opposed to a horrifyingly web 2.0 alternative that only Fake Jeff Jarvis would approve of?

TechCrunch reports that, like in a terrible romcom Hulu would pick up for at most half a season, a man named Jonathan Dharmaraj is attempting to win back his girlfriend by building her an app. He named the app "Shipoopi," which is an inside joke nickname for her, but will leave outsiders lacking The Music Man knowledge to believe that his girlfriend poops a lot. Nottttt really off to a great start there, Jon.

As for the app itself, it's not exactly the dozen roses of Android apps. According to TechCrunch, which called it "not all that revolutionary" (a downright burn for the notoriously cheerleadery tech blog), all it does is let you choose what apps appear on your lockscreen. But Shipoopi the person is supposedly super into organization, so perhaps it will strike a chord with her--love knows no bounds!

No word yet on whether Mr. Dharmaraj has won back his ex, but we're wishing the appy couple all the best, despite our skepticism of love in the time of algorithms. Whatever happens, you'll always have that Family Guy sketch. Franzia, anyone?

Now that they've got your attention, they decided to have some fun with it, by putting the DIY back in Valentine's Day love notes.

Beep bloop beep . . . love connection!

Did you just watch the love of your life exit the L train without asking for her digits? Digital renaissance man Luke DuBois is here to help. As the Brooklyn Paper reports, Mr. DuBois, an instructor at both the Polytechnic Institute of NYU and the Brooklyn Experimental Media Center, has built a website to help the Craigslist crowd find their "Missed Connections."

The site scrapes Missed Connections listings in nine different cities, including New York, then uses an algorithm that matches descriptive words from from listings in the same city. If it's a close enough match (upwards of 85 percent), users are prompted to email the authors of the initial posts to let them know you may have found their subway soulmate.

So far, [Mr. DuBois] has sent e-mail alerts to eight potential couples, but he hasn’t heard back from any of them, including a particularly close match between a salami-eating man and the woman who bummed him a cigarette.

“I think you two are looking for each other,” he wrote to each of them.

Unfortunately, the wonky interface looks like something only a Linux-lover could embrace. The algorithm, which is susceptible to spam posts, is also hindered by a gender gap. "Women tend to offer more detailed descriptions of their loves at first sight, while men often keep things overly simple, with postings like: 'You were on the R train and you were cute,'" says the Brooklyn Paper.

If nothing else, the site can be seen as an reminder that true love requires specificity. As Mr. DuBois explains:

"simple words like 'of' and 'the' have a very low score; nouns and verbs like 'train' and 'kiss' have a medium score; adjectives and adverbs like 'blue' and 'softly' have a high score; proper names like 'kevin' and 'chelsea' will score highest of all."

"Softly"? That sounds more like "Casual Encounters" than "Missed Connections" to us.