By Kelly Faircloth 6/19 11:00am

Meanwhile Back at the Valley

(Photo By Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

Fitter, Happier, More Productive: Silicon Valley Just Can’t Get Enough Inner Peace

Do you ever look at a centuries-old spiritual practice and think, “Huh, how can I use this to make myself a better employee of Google?” Apparently someone does: Wired reports that meditation and mindfulness are the hottest thing going in Silicon Valley.

Googlers are signing up in droves for “Search Inside Yourself” training, and the company has instituted “mindfulness lunches.” Facebook and Twitter apparently have “regular in-office meditation sessions and arranging for work routines that maximize mindfulness.” Read More

By Molly Mulshine 6/18 1:12pm

Things To Do When You're Drunk

Cool story, bro, but some of us are working right now. (Screengrab: BACtrack.com)

Tell Your Facebook Friends Exactly How Wasted You Are With This Handy New Breathalyzer App

If you drink so much that you need to quantify your blood alcohol content on a regular basis, you might want to take a step back and evaluate your choices.

Or, you could just buy this Breathalyzer that not only measures your BAC, but posts it to Facebook and Twitter. It even comes with removable mouthpieces for all your boozehound friends to collect ‘n’ trade. Read More

By Rebecca Hiscott 6/14 3:12pm

Good Job Internet

Not this Tweet. (Photo: celebslists.com)

Oxford English Dictionary Deigns to Allow Twitter’s Definition of ‘Tweet’ Into Its Hallowed Tome

After the Oxford American Dictionary deemed “GIF” the 2012 word of the year and officially adopted friendzone into its ranks, you’d be forgiven for feeling like they’re starting to cater to the Internet savvy among us. That sneaky suspicion about pandering will probably only get worse with the news that the Oxford English Dictionary has officially amended the definition of the word “tweet” to incorporate its web meaning. Read More

By Jordyn Taylor 6/13 11:18am

ATwitter

Screen Shot 2013-06-13 at 10.24.17 AM

You Can Now Use Twitter Analytics to View the Gut-Wrenching Lameness of Your Tweets

Good news, Twitter users: you can now analyze the popularity (or total lameness) of your tweets for free!

The Next Web reported this morning that Twitter has opened its analytics platform to the general public, free of charge (until now, the feature was only available to Twitter’s advertising customers). Now, if you log on to ads.twitter.com and click  “Timeline activity” under the “Analytics” tab, you’ll see a comprehensive chart showing the favorites, retweets, and replies each of your tweets has received. You’ll also see an interactive timeline charting your mentions, follows, and unfollows on a day-to-day basis. Also for your benefit, the site lets you download your analytics into an Excel spreadsheet. Read More

By Molly Mulshine 6/11 1:27pm

Play Your Video Games

Anita Sarkeesian. (Screencap: YouTube)

New Xbox Gives Dickheads a Chance to Mansplain the Lack of Women in Video Games All Over Again

It’s not hard to find vitriol on the Internet. But if you’re fiending for a reason to hang your head in shame re: humanity, tweeting about the lack of female representation in video games seems to be the perfect way to coax bilious haters out of the woodwork.

Feminist media critic Anita Sarkeesian made a simple observation yesterday and blasted it out on Twitter. ”Thanks, #XboxOne #E3 press conference for revealing to us exactly zero games featuring a female protagonist for the next generation,” she said. Within minutes, a diarrheal flow of fury was unleashed upon her as a puerile crop of gargoyles attempted to put her in her place. Read More

By Molly Mulshine 6/06 5:32pm

Antisocial Media

Even this avi counts as content. (Photo: Twitter)

CEO Makes Employee Record His Every Move Due to Insatiable Thirst for Content

“Oh my god, I should totally have my own reality show.” It’s something bland people have been saying since the dawn of Bravo, but few have acted on it. Lucky for them, one trail-blazing social media CEO is bravely chronicling his existence in a deluded quest for content.

Gary Vaynerchuk of VaynerMedia has repurposed a perfectly innocent employee to “shadow my life,” he told Forbes. The employee will follow him around all day and record his every statement and move, like a lesser Beyoncé assistant. He thinks this is a trend that will catch on like wildfire within the year. Read More

By Jordan Valinsky 6/06 1:44pm

Visiting Dignitaries

Stay up there. (Photo: Twitter.com)

Address Your Thank You Letters to Richard Branson Because He’s Sending Justin Bieber to Space

Out of ideas on who he can alienate on planet earth, Justin Bieber has volunteered to be shot into space for a suborbital flight on Virgin Galactic. Ginger-in-chief Richard Branson excitedly tweeted the news Wednesday announcing his diabolical plans on how he’s angling to rid the planet of the autotuned manchild.

“Great to hear @justinbieber & @scooterbraun are latest @virgingalactic future astronauts. Congrats, see you up there!,” tweeted Mr. Branson, reminding us that the requirements of becoming an astronaut is alarmingly low.  Read More