Between their bratty attitudes and stealing all the free chicken samples at the mall’s Wok N Roll, tweens are miniature little devils who are on a destructive path to ruin the world. Now, a new alarming survey from McAfee reveals that their terrifying and deceitful behavior is happening online too.
Trading in your twin bed for a sleepover-friendly double bed in a childhood rite of passage–one that allows you to stretch out among your pile of big girl CDs, magazines and clothes.
But tweens today may not ever know this meaningful transition, because sales for twin beds are dropping. Instead, kids are demanding double size beds early on so that they can comfortably sprawl out in bed next to their computers.
The Daily Mail’s latest troll is a veritable master stroke. British writer Shona Sibary, a true international treasure who has previously written about smacking her kids and admitted that she’d rather play Boggle than have sex with her husband, now tackles modern day culture’s most insidious trend: the duckface selfie.
Tweens These Days
Remember the good old days when all you needed to be a powerful and popular tween was a mass of shiny hair, a gaggle of wannabe friends and your dad’s credit card? Times have changed. Now a tween’s sense of importance is derived primarily from the amount of Tumblr URLs he or she has amassed. Oh, what a cruel world.
Back in the early aughts, when this reporter’s parents were fast asleep, we’d take one of those 500 Free Hours of AOL CDs received in the mail every other day, unplug the phone line in our bedroom, and hook it up to our laptop so we could log on to saucy chat rooms and browse AOL Teen. Our parents, competent as they were, had no idea we spent half the night surfing a sluggish, largely harmless web.
We assumed teens these days–born with a smartphone glued to their mutant flesh–have it much easier, especially without having to muffle the sounds of dial-up. We were wrong.