Law and Order

Aww, Man: No-Fun Mississippi House Bill Seeks to Outlaw Animal-Human Hybrids

(Photo: Blogspot)

Look, nobody expected Mississippi to be this shining bastion of liberalism, lovingly welcoming every transhumanist-animal-hybrid-Singulatarian to cross its borders. But unfortunately, in its quest to further criminalize and stigmatize abortion by explicitly defining personhood, Mississippi may have gone one step too far: House Bill 819, the Protection of the Human Person Act (PDF), would outlaw┬áhuman-animal hybrids like animorphs, which should strike outrage in the heart of every ’90s kid who loved the sci fi series. Read More

XXX in Tech

Robots Will Soon Fulfill All Your Sexy Nurse Fantasies

(Photo: CNET)

Ah, the medical professional fantasy: pretty mundane fodder for a generation reared on porn, but still immensely popular. Bedding a nurse is the number one fantasy among men, in case you haven’t been to a Halloween party in the past 25 years.

Now, some futurists are predicting that robots will have a dual function in our impending utopian society: not only will they care for us when we’re sick, but they’ll also satisfy our sexual fantasies in the process. Read More

XXX in Tech

Regular Orgasms Are for Mortals; All the Cool Kids Are Having ‘Longevity Orgasms’

Sexy robot. (Photo: Dragon Painting)

If you’re already following the advice of your longevity coach and working to live as long as humanly possible (until the Singularity comes and your being is finally merged with that of a robot), then you’re probably ready to take your training to the next level. Self-quantifying via sleep tracking apps and the Nike Fuel Band will only get you so far, and unless you’re Peter Thiel, hyperbaric chambers are rather expensive. Luckily, the next step towards total transhumanism is much more pleasurable: buying a sex robot and having longevity orgasms. Read More