Lean in to the CHAOS

A newly betrothed Business Insider writer has a bone to pick with Facebook: Getting engaged ruined the social network for her. "Just like that, everything changed," she reports. "Facebook knew I was betrothed. And it didn't waste any time clogging up my news feed with ads" related to weddings, weddings and also weddings.

A few relatively-relevant ads are hardly going to make my Newsfeed any junkier than it already is. (Spotify! So-and-so shared a link! So-and-so likes Sprint!) As a newly-engaged woman, however, I've found the deluge of Facebook ads is only part of the story. The Internet and its advertisers, it seems, are all conspiring to make me a cuckoo-crazy-crackers bridezilla.

Here's a brief guide to what happens once you make it official:

First you change your Facebook status, and even as the congratulations roll in, so do the Facebook ads for places like the wedding dress brand Pronovias. (Also, the occasional gym ad? Let's not even go there, Facebook.) You're not ready to buy anything yet, but those ads are an insistent reminder that you've got about a year to plan this thing so you better get cracking, missy.

So you hop over to Pinterest, which suddenly becomes approximately one thousand times more interesting. There's an entire browsing category devoted to weddings, and if you thought the community's home decor pins were aspirational, you ain't seen nothing yet. Spend a few hours on the platform and you'll become convinced that an indie D.I.Y. wedding in a mossy forest glade where your bridesmaids carry baskets of apples and all the guests receive hand-painted umbrellas as party favors is a GREAT idea. And just think! Now brands can track all this.

You spend a lot of time on Etsy, running the numbers on hand-made invitations and wondering whether those cute lacy headbands would make you look like a doofus.

Then it's time to start really planning in earnest, which is when you graduate to The Knot, which looks a lot like Pinterest but contains real information about potential vendors. You begin calling venues and caterers and florists and perhaps keeping track of your options in a Google Doc (which is probably the only piece of technology you actually need during this process; everything else is an opportunity for up-selling).

You begin to receive near-constant email offers from The Knot's many, many, oh so very many sponsors.

You realize most of the vendors on The Knot cost a small fortune, and so you disappear into the rabbit hole of boards like Weddingbee and Wedding Wire, searching variations on "affordable nice wedding." You begin scouring Yelp. You spend a lot of time Google Image searching venues that sound suspicious affordable, on the lookout for decorations that look a little too Goodfellas. 

In the meantime, there's years worth of wedding shows you can mainline on Netflix. Possibly centuries. Say Yes to the Dress, Wedded to Perfection, Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta, Whose Wedding Is It Anyway, Say Yes to the Dress: Randy Knows Best. (Oh and of course now people can see what you're watching on Netflix, so yeah, your groom-to-be is going to know about this new addiction.)

"Do we need a wedding website?" you ask yourself. "Wait, do we need a wedding app? At the very least we need an Instagram hashtag for day-of photos." Obviously.

Let's see what kind of targeted ads Googling "elope to Las Vegas cheap plane tickets" gets me.

Foursquare's temporary HQ. (Photo: Twitter)

Given recent events, Betabeat decided to forego our Rumor Roundup this week for a roundup of all the things startups are doing to help get New York back to normal following Hurricane Sandy.

It didn't take long for New York startups and techies to spring into action after Hurricane Sandy left parts of our fine city without power, water, shelter, or Wifi.

On Tuesday, we pointed you to New York Tech Meetup and New Work City's attempts to mobilize tech-savvy volunteers to help local businesses and organizations get networks and websites up and running. Today, NYTM put out an official call to its 28,000 members, asking for more volunteers and taking requests (online or by phone/text 646-392-7353) from government agencies, small businesses, non-profits, and schools that need help anything from data recovery to Internet connectivity to getting servers back online.

Noel Hidalgo, one of the lead volunteers of that effort, has been manning an uber-useful Sandy Coworking map of offices space for displaced techies. And New Work City founder Tony Bacigalupo, has pretty much morphed into Silicon Alley's Cory Booker. 

I was thinking it'd be bad ass to get teams of people in cars loaded with supplies just rolling around helping whoever was in need.

— Tony Bacigalupo (@tonybgoode) November 2, 2012

In fact, companies like Uber, which temporarily dropped surge pricing amid cries of price gouging but then quickly reinstated it--and Hotels.com have been the aberration. Most startups have lept at the chance to lend a hand and show off the tech scene's self-professed collaborative spirit.

Here's a roundup of yet more Sandy relief efforts spearheaded by the tech community:

No fee Airbnb From Oct. 31 to Nov. 7, Airbnb is waiving its fees for both renters and hosts on all properties located in areas hit by Hurricane Sandy, including NYC and Long Island. Travelers must stay for seven nights or fewer. We found a bunch of local hosts who dropped their rates to $10 a night, as a Sandy special.

Red Cross Tonight Hotel booking service Hotel Tonight is donating all money spent on hotels in NYC Thursday Nov. 1 and Friday Nov. 2 to the Red Cross.

Zaarly's pops up with a helping hand Peer-to-peer marketplace Zaarly launched an online pop-up shop that allows users to purchase local services for NYC residents in need. Examples include homemade meals from a local chef, pet sitting and renovations. All of the proceeds from the pop up shop will be donated to the Red Cross in New York City. "Based in San Francisco, folks at Zaarly wanted to help their friends in New York, but felt powerless," a rep told Betabeat. "After batting ideas around late into Monday night, they realized they were no longer small and powerless. They could help their friends and enable others to do so too."

What a Mitzvah! Yenta, the "Grindr for Jews," has coordinated a bunch of relief efforts. The company has temporarily halted advertising and paid outreach in order to donate those proceeds to the Red Cross. Yenta is also inviting displaced New Yorkers to stop by their offices, where they're collecting food and clothing donations for Sandy victims.

Later, late fees AT&T, Verzion and T-Mobile are both waiving late fees for customers impacted by Hurricane Sandy, and will continue to provide service to prepaid and contract customers, even if they haven't been able to pay their bill. AT&T and T-Mobile have also been providing charging stations for New Yorkers affected by the blackout.

Tying the Knot Wedding startup The Knot created a Facebook page to help brides whose weddings were ruined or canceled by Hurricane Sandy. Affected couples are using the page to "share tips, find available venues and talk to local experts." The page is also collecting the information of wedding venues and vendors in the area who did not suffer damage and are still able to host November weddings.

Time Warner does something good Much-maligned New York cable provider TimeWarner, known for pissing off every actor from Star Trek, has temporarily shrugged off its evil image with a hefty $1 million donation to Sandy relief efforts. According to a press release, "The company will donate $500,000 to the Mayor's Fund to Advance New York City with another $500,000 to be dispersed to other organizations that are serving victims in the greater Tri-State area." They also deployed ten trucks downtown to act as charging stations with free Wifi.

Gilt City helps the city From Wednesday Oct. 31 to Sunday Nov. 4th, Gilt City NYC is donating 30 percent of all profits from sales on its NYC page to the Red Cross Hurricane Relief. The company has alerted all Gilt members of this opportunity in an email with the hopes of encouraging some philanthropic shopping.

Rubicon to the rescue Ecommerce platform AHAlife is also donating 15 percent of profits made from Oct. 31 to Nov. 4th to Team Rubicon, which links up military veterans with communities in need of rebuilding.

Squee! Stuffed animal startup Squishable released a limited edition Sandy Corgi, with $5 from every purchase from now until Sunday Nov. 4 going to the Red Cross. The corgi was so cute (see for yourself below) that it quickly sold out, so they extended the offer to the platypus squishable. So far, they've raised $1,460.

The adorable squishable corgi, which is sadly sold out. (Photo: Squishable)

Lucky us Community crowdfunding platform Lucky Ant is providing free crowdfunding for local businesses impacted by Sandy. The company has waived all fees for any local businesses wishing to use the platform to get themselves back up and running. Lucky Ant is also raising a fund with a goal of $50,000 or more that they will distribute to small businesses in need.

Buried bauble relief Online jewelry retailer Bauble Bar is hosting its weekly "Buried Bauble" special, where users use a clue to find a discounted piece of jewelry. This week, for every $10 buried bauble users purchase today, Bauble Bar will donate $10 to the Red Cross.

Fresh charity My Fresh Shirt, an online drycleaning service, has donated a year's worth of free drycleaning for auction at Charitybuzz, a platform that allows users to host auctions for charity. So far, the current bid is up to $600, and all proceeds will go to the Red Cross.

(Photo: Technorati)

Upon navigating to the front page of the New York Times website this weekend, we were happily surprised to discover that a piece about women in technology occupied the feature spot. "Nurturing a Baby and a Startup Business" chronicles the difficulties of juggling motherhood and a booming business, through the lens of a handful of New York's lady-driven startups: The Knot, Rent the Runway and Gilt Groupe, to name a few.

As a simultaneously baby-obsessed, career-minded lady, it was an inspiring piece, but some of the quotes were enough to make us strike our fists against the kitchen counter, spilling our morning coffee. See for yourselves:

Yet much of the investment world, heavily dominated by men, remains skeptical about a woman’s ability to combine running a fast-growing tech start-up and motherhood, Ms. Gugnani says. She raised $3 million from investors before becoming pregnant.

“All of the women I know who went to raise money did it when they didn’t have kids,” she says. “There is total discrimination in the start-up world against women who are pregnant.”

How is it 2012 and we are still seeing brazen discrimination like this? Perhaps hiring a few more lady VCs could help combat that. Plus, it's worth noting that the ladies in this Times piece are able to afford nannies--but many women with kids and tech career aspirations aren't so lucky.