Je Ne Regrette Rien
In the Valley, employees of major tech companies like Google and Facebook wear their building badges like a literal badge of honor. You don’t need to keep it attached to your belt while out on a Friday night, but it also doesn’t hurt your chances of landing a date. You should probably debadge when you bang though (just a thought).
The Future Will See You Now
Billy Gibby, the Alaskan man who rose to Internet prominence for changing his name to “Hostgator Dotcom” and being paid to have porn website logos tattooed to his face, is actually starting to regret that completely reasonable decision.
Remember how jealous you were that the title character in the movie Matilda could move stuff with her mind? She could float candy to her mouth and turn the record player on and off and exact elementary school revenge on mean headmasters, all by scrunching up her nose and thinking really hard. We’re not quite there, but science is getting close: soon, temporary tattoos attached to your forehead could make you telepathic and telekinetic.