But seriously that episode where Kirk and Spock fight on Vulcan is pretty good. (Photo: ussawesome.tumblr.com)

A couple of weeks ago, the SETI Institute asked the Internet to help name two tiny moons of Pluto. Well, the voting has now closed, and while no one hijacked the polls in favor of "Alderaan," it was a name near and dear to science fiction nerds that took the top spot: Vulcan (a write-in) pulled 174,062 votes out of 450,324 total.

Cerebus came in second with 99,432 and Styx rounded out the top three with 87,858, presumably all of them classic rock fans. The SETI Institute says it'll be another month or two before the names are finalized.

But it's not simply a reflection of Internet culture that the Trekkie option won out. In fact, as the Christian Science Monitor reports, it was the result of a sustained campaign by someone with influence and a lot of time on his hands. Vulcan was suggested and promoted by none other than William Shatner, a.k.a. James Tiberius Kirk, who spent the last week tweeting out regular appeals to his 1.35 million followers.

This despite the fact that Vulcan was the god of fire and had very little to do with the underworld, and Persephone would have been a far more thematically appropriate selection.

This concludes the latest update in our ongoing series, "What Is William Shatner Doing Now Instead of Appearing in the Relaunched Star Trek?"

(Photo: Comicbook.com)

William Shatner, the Priceline spokesperson best known for his timeless role as the sexy/fearless/fearlessly sexy Captain Kirk in the original Star Trek, recently joined Reddit. And, as happens with many Reddit newbies, he has been immediately sucked in, perhaps to the point of obsession. In fact, dear Mr. Shatner appears to be spending a not insignificant amount of his precious time arguing with people on Reddit. Stars: they're just like us!

Mr. Shatner made the tech press a couple weeks back with his impassioned discussion of the darker side of Reddit, including the casual racism and misogyny that permeates subreddits large and small. "Reddit has been the first ‘mainstream’ site that I have been to that actually appears to allow racists and other hate mongers to group, congregate, incite and spread their hatred," he wrote shortly after joining.

A review of his username page reveals that Mr. Shatner hasn't quit there. He's been spending an awful lot of time in r/StarTrek, r/SciFi and r/Entertainment arguing with fellow Redditors.

When, for example, Mr. Shatner posted a video to several subreddits that showed his Priceline costar Kaley Cuoco in a series of outtakes, many Redditors took issue with his flagrant self-promotion, saying the video was sponsored by Priceline. "Oh OK. Where's the logo? It's a ridiculous assertion," he shot back. "So going on your logic then the ISS video I posted on my phone call to the ISS was sponsored by the Canadian Space Agency? Or maybe Priceline is now offering rooms on the ISS so that was just a 30 minute infomercial?"

The entire comment thread has since been deleted, but evidence of Mr. Shatner's love of arguing with people on the web still lives on in his Reddit user profile:

I keep oscillating back and forth wondering if people do this for karma, cruelty or ignorance. Thank you for the article. I did read it but if you go look I'm not here to do an AMA. I answered the Duck/Horse question that is the only question that seems to count....

So this is what you (colloquially not specifically) are afraid of? An actor not wanting to answer your horse/duck questions and wanting to promote their movie? ;-)

For the record, Mr. Shatner said he wouldn't fight a horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses.

(Photo: Tumblr)

There are some Star Trek fans who really take their love for the series to dangerous extremes. This reporter may or may not have gotten her boyfriend a Star Trek bathrobe last Valentine's Day, but stocking up on dangerous Klingon weapons seems like taking your fandom one step too far.

The Sun Sentinel reports that a Florida man was caught wielding a Bat'leth in a busy Fort Lauderdale intersection on Tuesday. For the uninitiated, that's a sword of honor for Klingons, a war-hungry race in Star Trek. And unlike the light saber, this thing's no joke: it's a crescent-shaped metal sword with several sharp edges that can cut even the toughest of alien skin.

According to a police report obtained by the Sun Sentinel, the man was "proudly displaying" the sword in the intersection. Clearly he was quite happy with his most recent Etsy purchase.

To make this story even better (read: more Florida-ish), however, is the fact that the Bat'leth-owner was named Johnnie Blade.

Mr. Blade was released on $100 bail and told to avoid swords, which might be difficult given his name.

Aww aww! (Photo: Etsy)

Good news if you forgot a few holiday gifts! CNET has stumbled onto a treasure trove, in the form of sequin-encrusted, geek-themed pasties currently being sold on--where else?--Etsy. Your options include Apple logos, Grumpy Cat faces, Star Trek ensignia (also available in pink), Nyan Cats.

Sizing seems fairly standard, though you must chose between "average," "extra pointy," and "butt pasties." 

They're all available from Montabahn Pasties, purveyors of "professional burlesque nipple tassel kits." The nerdy delights are a mere sampling of the firm's inventory, which also includes blue starfish and black widow spiders.

Don't let your dude friends miss out, CNET adds:

These pasties may be intended for the geek ladies, but there's no reason geek guys couldn't get in on the fun. A set of Spider-Man coverings may be just the ticket for subtly expressing your Marvel allegiance at the next Comic-Con.

Just don't get the mustaches, for Christ's sake.

(Photo: Stony Brook)

If your futuristic dreams are populated by visions of the Star Trek Holodeck, then you might want to take a trip to good ol' Stony Brook University. Gizmodo reports that researchers there have spent $2 million to construct a 360-degree, 1.5 gigapixel resolution display called the Reality Deck, and it's everything Commander Riker ever wanted.

In addition to displaying high quality images, the Reality Deck has sensors built into it that can track you as you move around the room, adjusting the images on the screen accordingly. In this way, information and images are perfectly tailored for the best possible consumption experience.

Writes Gizmodo:

The facility is designed to help scientists visualize the massive amounts of information in the present and future eras of Big Data—everything from massive image collections covering hundreds or thousand years of art history to creating a walk-through virtual colonoscopy based on the University Medical Center's new 320-slice computed tomography (CT) scanner. Satellite imaging, climate modeling, astronomical applications, crime monitoring, and news analyses are all possible.

Even though "big data" is having a bit of a moment right now, we're also excited for the more entertainment-driven implications inherent to a display of this magnitude. Imagine action movies, space documentaries and even Star Trek episodes projected onto the screen, responding to your every move. If you thought "Sonic Vision" at the Hayden Planetarium was cool, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

(Photo: Dvice)

Advanced 3D printing technology is getting close to resembling replicators from Star Trek and iPads look a whole lot like the gadgets Geordi was always carrying around. Now, physicists have taken another step towards making Starfleet technology a reality by inventing a working tractor beam, which is essentially a laser that can move things. Sure, currently it can only move itty bitty molecules, but the fact that it works at all opens up all sorts of exciting possibilities.

NYU professors David Ruffner and David Grier have developed a way to harness Bessel beams in order to pull particles towards a laser source. The result is the beginnings of a very tiny tractor beam capable of moving silica spheres suspended in water.

According to Geekosystem:

Rather than a single beam, Bessel beams are transmitted as concentric circles that converge around the point they’re directed at. This gives the beams a unique quality. If you place a small object between the source of the beam and its destination, the concentric rings of the Bessel beam can reform around the object. That makes it possible for Bessel beams to pull or push objects — a quality of the beams that had been hypothetical until now.

Mr. Ruffner and Mr. Grier discovered that by overlapping two Bessel beams and slightly distorting them through a lens they could create enough energy to move the molecules.

Phys Org, which originally posted the discovery, argues that this type of tractor beam would need such a hulking amount of energy in order to allow it to move large objects that it "likely would destroy those objects in the process." But, they add, "it does suggest that such a device might be possible using another less energy intensive source."

In Star Trek, tractor beams are used to manipulate cargo, guide ships into the landing dock and damage enemy ships. In real life, we just hope we'll be able to shine a laser on the TV remote across the room and have it magically float over to us. Dream big.

We don't think we'll be getting any dates. (Photo: Star Trek Dating)

OkCupid users not appreciating the way your Vulcan ears look in pictures? Match.com failing to find you a partner willing to read your wedding vows in Klingon? You're not unlucky in love, you may just be using the wrong online dating platform.

Gizmodo published a post today about Trekkie Dating, a new online dating platform for Star Trek fans to meet significant others willing to geek out with them. "Live love and prosper," reads the site. "Welcome to a dating community that is light years ahead of others. Find like-minded friends, romance, & convention dates with other Trekkies TODAY!"

But given how many lonely hearts are roaming our pale blue dot, dating sites catering explicitly to Star Trek fans are not a new phenomenon. Star Trek Dating, largely populated by U.K. residents, has actually been around since 2010; Star Trek Dating.co.uk launched in June 2012 and claims to receive two million unique visitors a day.

Likewise, the inveterate Trek Passions has been up and running since 2004. The Daily Dot notes that Trek Passions users can add themselves to a group of other users who consider themselves in "Pon Farr," an affliction that affects Vulcans every seven years where they have to mate with someone or else they die. (Been there, amiright?)

Trekkie Dating is hoping to break into quite the competitive market, but its user base already appears to be much more active than those on Trek Passions and the U.S.-based Star Trek Dating. We signed up under the username Troi2YourRiker ("Betazoid seeking commander") on Star Trek Dating and found it only had 16 members signed on, and a fair amount of profiles we browsed through appeared to be porn spam. Others, like this Klingon cosplayer, were more entertaining than potential romantic match material.

We also signed up for Trekkie Dating to see if our matches were any better. Unfortunately, a 36-year-old Portland man has already secured the highly coveted user name "ShutUpWesley," so we used "Troi2YourRiker" again. We found a cute 23-year-old who managed to style his eyebrows just like Spock and a 27-year-old who traded Mormonism for "the philosophies of Gene Roddenberry." The caliber of available daters wasn't all that much different from that of OkCupid, albeit with a sci-fi twist. Plus, the Star Trek daters had interests that let's say organically aligned with ours: not everyone enjoys vacationing to the Science Fiction Museum.

And that's the point, isn't it? The universe is vast and dark: the least you can do is find someone to snuggle and care for your Tribble with.

(Photo: Maximum PC)

When not pissing off the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Time Warner Cable execs apparently take to their evil lair to devise new schemes to wring every last penny out of their hapless customers. The latest pocket gouger? A monthly modem fee.

The New York Times reports that Time Warner is planning to charge a monthly fee of $3.95 to rent a modem from them. If you want to avoid paying the monthly fee, you can purchase a Time Warner-approved modem for $50-$137. Time Warner will then promise to set the modem up during the Harvest Moon but then not show up until the spring thaw.

The Times predicts that many users won't want to opt to change their plan and purchase their own modem, so the move could be a major cash cow for a company that has fewer Yelp stars than cannibal murderer Jeffrey Dahmer.

To be fair, many Internet companies (like Comcast) charge a modem rental fee, but other Internet companies did not have the gall to offend Sir Patrick Stewart. Might we suggest seeing if your building is eligible for Verizon Fios?

(Photo: The Weather Channel)

Winter is coming, at least according to every Game of Thrones fan on Reddit. This year, the witty folks at the Weather Channel have decided to name every winter storm. As it turns out, whoever was tasked with writing these names is kind of a huge sci fi nerd.

D is for Draco--perhaps as a nod to Mr. Malfoy in the Harry Potter series? Lord of the Rings fans will recognize the G name--it's Gandolf; for Star Trek fans, there's Khan for K and "Q," the devious God character who drives Captain Picard insane, for the letter Q.

The best part is that the Weather Channel refuses to cop to the fact that the names are ripped out of sci fi/fantasy lore. For each name, they provide context to demonstrate where it's from. Gandolf is "a character in a 1896 fantasy novel in a pseudo-medieval countryside," they reason. Q is "the Broadway Express subway line in New York City."

We hope this season's biggest Nor'easter comes in time for the letter K so that we have an excuse to clench our fists and scream KHAAAAAN at the angry sky.

A Reddit user named "jyck" posted a video of his son attempting to recite the opening credits to the StarTrek subreddit. His adorable kid accent, coupled with that palpable delight only evident in children under 12, is enough to thaw even the hardest heart.