Like Romeo and Juliet. (Photo: Robert King/Vice)

American treasure John McAfee has officially returned to U.S. soil following his dramatic escape from Belize, and has immediately begun doing what he does best: messin' with tech reporters.

In an interview on CNBC's Squawk Box this morning, Mr. McAfee appeared grizzled in a navy blue blazer, swirling a piece of candy--perhaps a Nicorette product?--haphazardly around in his mouth as he deigned to answer questions from Andrew Ross Sorkin.

His responses were as delightfully insane as they usually are. Come, journey with us through the mind of brainy paranoiac and ephebophilia enthusiast John McAfee.

On whether or not he really does bath salts:

Child, please!  "I have the resources to do good drugs," Mr. McAfee said, sounding slightly miffed that he would ever do a drug manufactured in a midwestern trailer.

On his affinity for hoaxes:

"I love elaborate hoaxes but not ones that result in my detention in Guatemalan jails." C'mon now.

But then, Mr. Mcafee added, "I did a hoax on bath salts once," negating his prior claim that he likes only fancy drugs.

On how much money he actually has:

"I have no clue what I am worth, probably around $5 million." :(

On what he'll do to make money after this whole hooplah dies down:

"I'll do something... I'll shine shoes." A noble profession!

CNBC also reported that Mr. McAfee's girlfriend has escaped Belize, but did not clarify whether it meant the 20-year-old or the 17-year-old. Godspeed, Sam and Amy!

Tyler Winklevoss (cnbc.com)

The hosts of CNBC's "Squawk Box" could barely contain their glee over the fact that litigious twins Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss agreed to appear on their show this morning. "I need an autograph... for my daughter!" squee'd one of the show's hosts. Right.

The Winklevi appeared in a segment called "The Disruptors" that highlights some of tech's biggest heavy-hitters. Apparently the duo are now running a VC firm aptly titled Winklevoss Capital. When reached via email, Cameron Winklevoss confirmed to Betabeat that it's the first time the two have officially announced the company.

Despite the excitement of the hosts, the segment revealed little about what companies the Winklevi are going to be investing in. The twins do seem to have the lingo down pat, though.

"We're closing a couple deals hopefully within this month, so it's a little premature to disclose what they are. But we focus on early-stage, disruptive startups," said Tyler, J. Crew-handsome Twin #1.

"We're kind of just looking at investments as they come," said Cameron, starch-collared Twin #2. "We're looking for companies that are early-stage where we can add both capital and operational experience and make an impact and work with entrepreneurs and build their team where we can sort of add value."

When one of the show's hosts asked the Winklevi to address why their firm might be overlooked given their background and negative portrayal in The Social Network, Tyler didn't do his budding VC firm any favors: "We do have the experience. We were there at the beginning of the web 2.0."

Oh, you know all about the web 2.0? Sign us up!

Given the influx of celebrity VCs these days, it's unsurprising to see the Winklevi jump on the bandwagon--they do have more experience than Ashton Kutcher.