Local Business Shocked to Find Traffic Declined After Moving Their Website to “”


“Despite high hopes and careful planning, the Newark Nut Company’s Web traffic took a dive after moving to,” writes the Onion the New York Times. Aw, nuts!

Several experts chalk this traffic decline up to a host of variables–Google having to reassess the site, the fact that the company’s head Jeffrey Braverman should have simply redirected to its original–but the immature among us know the real answer: The only people typing into a computer are 13-year-old boys trying to impress their friends and piss off their parents.