Saddest sentence ever. (Photo: Hashgram)

Welp, guess we’ve been using Snapchat all wrong. Snapchat CEO Evan Spiegel spoke this morning at AllThingsD's Dive Into Mobile conference, where he that argued his creation “isn’t a great a tool for sexting” and stated that the future of apps should be ephemeral.

Mr. Spiegel said more than 150 million pictures are uploaded every day to Snapchat by people aged 13 to 25. Although he noted that "some" of its users are probably naked, usage dips after 11 p.m., when he assumes when sexts are sent. (We hope by that time people already have sealed the deal).

Snapchat recently locked down $14 million in funding last February and is currently embroiled in a lawsuit that reeks of plot from The Social Network. It's also recently been the target of photo spam, which speaks to its popularity. Mr. Spiegel posted to the Snapchat blog this morning apologizing for the issue, which had users receiving unwanted pictures from users they hadn't friended.

Of course the app's success is rooted in the dissolving of embarrassing images, which lends it a decidedly anti-Instagram quality. (Nobody needs to permanently save that drunk photo you took last night.) Mr. Spiegel is such a fan of the ephemeral nature of your n00dz and funny faces that he believes it should be the future. According to Mashable:

The notion, said Siegel, of online versus offline is changing. “What we’ve seen change is now that it’s always online," said Siegel, adding "We believe the default should be ephemerality. In this world, deletion is the default.”

Meanwhile, Mr. Spiegel hinted that he's working on a way to monetize all those blurry photos of your cleavage. ”I like ads,” he told conference attendees. "We’ve been playing around with some prototypes.”

Hear that? It's the sound of Virgin Mobile's marketing team feverishly scrambling to develop ideas for Snapchat native advertising.

Mr. Sassa (Photo: Wikimedia)

Our prediction for employment trends of 2013? A "no sexting" clause in your contract.

The New York Post reports that Scott Sassa, a top executive at Hearst, has been forced to resign after a Los Angeles-based stripper forwarded he sexts he sent her to Hearst's "very conservative top brass."

Mr. Sassa is a veteran of the tech and media industries. He served a short stint as the CEO of Friendster, acted as CEO in residence for Kleiner Perkins, and was the CEO and cofounder of Uber (no, not that Uber), before becoming president of Hearst's entertainment and syndication group, which manages interests in ESPN and Lifetime, among others.

According to Page Six:

“She was texting him sexy pictures, and he was responding using words you absolutely would not want your bosses to see,” a source said, adding, “He was also communicating with many other girls in New York, and wrote crazy things to them.”

The stripper's boyfriend (just to up the tawdry factor) helped her alleged extortion attempts of Mr. Sassa, a single dad. Not to worry though, all this unprofessional behavior will earn him a “large compensation package for him to go away for a long time."

As a source told Page Six:

“Hearst prides itself on being a very ethical, clean-cut company. William Randolph Hearst must be rolling over in his grave.”

Pretty hazy memory of Mr. Hearst's exploits at home and at the office, huh?

(Photo: ZCache)

It turns out that even top secret agents aren't immune to the sexting craze. CNN reports that according to confidential disciplinary reports it obtained, the FBI is fighting a "rash of sexting" among its employees, many of whom used their work cell phones to transmit noodz.

The reports revealed that several employees sent naked pictures and sexually explicit messages during work; one was involved in a domestic dispute at his mistress' apartment; and one paid for a happy ending at the massage parlor. Suddenly House of Cards is beginning to seem pretty darn realistic.

"You can't do this stuff," Candice Will, the FBI's assistant director, told CNN. "When you are given an FBI BlackBerry, it's for official use. It's not to text the woman in another office who you found attractive or to send a picture of yourself in a state of undress. That is not why we provide you an FBI BlackBerry."

Frankly, we're more concerned that employees at the Federal Bureau of Investigation are that careless when it comes to keeping secrets. Isn't your job to like, be a super stealthy double agent and investigate stuff without people knowing? And you can't figure out how to download Snapchat? SMH.

(Screencap: Zoobe Cam)

Feel like your voice messages are lacking a certain je ne sais quois? Is your sultry baritone no longer enough to convince a potential partner to take you on a date? Lucky for you, Zoobe Cam, an app that lets you record voice messages and then stage animated characters to perform them, has released a new version that lets sexy animated ladies convey your messages for you, no sexting required!

Eve is Zoobe Cam's newest character; you can dress her up in "playful Bavarian style" or even in a holiday-friendly sexy Santa outfit. Though "if you like to enchant your recipients you should go for her sexy witch outfit." Users can change Eve's outfits, hair color and backgrounds to suit the content of their messages. So next time your boyfriend asks you to sext him a pic, screw Snapchat: just let Eve act "lascivious" for you.

According to a Zoobe Cam press release:

Eve is able to express her feelings in several ways depending on the message’s content. This can be her most beautiful smile, an apologetically lowering of her gaze or a lasciviously lolling on the screen. The user alone decides which emotional state fits best to his message.

Before you cry sexism, fear not: an "Adam" character is in the works so dudes have someone to identity with. We can only hope Adam's outfit also involves ledershosen.

Whatcha got there? ;) (Photo: Lionsdenu)

It's the stuff nightmares are made of. You finally wrack up the nerve to send that sultry message to your lover via text, only to discover that you accidentally sent it to everyone in your address book. For 24-year-old swimming teacher Craig Evans, this wasn't a nightmare--it actually happened. Unluckiest dude ever?

According to the Daily Mail (so, grain of salt), Mr. Evans had recently gotten a new BlackBerry, and its UI was so janky and confusing that when he went to send a really disgusting and not at all hot message about "skin on skin" sex to his girlfriend, he accidentally broadcast it to all of his contacts--including his family.

What would be the most embarrassing incident of his young life eventually morphed into something much worse. Mr. Evans had two underaged schoolgirls on his contact list, and they also received the lascivious message. As a result, Mr. Evans spent three months of his 18 month sentence in jail before his lawyers could repeal the conviction, which occurred this week. Luckily for him, when the court learned that he's just a hapless, tech-impaired BlackBerry user, they agreed to set Mr. Evans free.

But now he will forever be known as the man who was "evidently misguided in the use of his BlackBerry." Chump move, bro.

(h/t Gizmodo)

Sit up straight! (Photo: flickr.com/angryjuliemonday)

Smartphones are a menace. Lots of them are straight-up covered in poop germs. We're all well-nigh addicted to the chirping that heralds an incoming email. And now, CNN reports, our constant texting is giving everyone "headaches, neck cricks and achy shoulders."

Finally, a way to pretend those headaches aren't due to your runaway hypertension, thanks to all the free food.

Says CNN:

The average human head weighs 10 pounds in a neutral position -- when your ears are over your shoulders. For every inch you tilt your head forward, the pressure on your spine doubles. So if you're looking at a smartphone in your lap, your neck is holding up what feels like 20 or 30 pounds.

But what if you're sexting? Does that make a difference?

Happily app-y after.

By the tweets of it, everyone, their mom, and Jennifer 8. Lee showed up for Y Combinator's biggest Demo Day evah last night to watch the parade of hoodies try to convince folks they have the next Airbnb. To make sure no one got bored, the thoughtful editors of the Daily Muse even put together a BINGO card of expected phrases (that could also work well as a Mad Libs): "We make it easy to disrupt the future of ________. Please ignore the label-less Y axis on our chart of ______. So if you're _______ come talk to us. "

But one company that seems to have emerged from the fray is Pair, an app built for two that lets couples send each other messages, pictures, and thumbkisses, which is when both users press their thumb to the screen at the same time, making the phones vibrate. It sounds like a mobile version of OurSpot, the social network (population: 2), we told you about in January, minus the good vibrations, of course.

Pair already has 50,000 users and funding from Michael Arrington's CrunchFund, Ron Conway's SV angel, and Path's Dave Morin, who knows a little something about exclusive social networks--and privacy concerns. "He told Pair that Facebook has built cities, Path is building houses, and Pair is building bedrooms," reports Business Insider, making us wonder if Mr. Morin didn't over-indulge a little on the world-changing Kool-Aid.

In their write-up, Business Insider notes that Pair may not be any better than sending private texts or videos, but then goes on to say, "It almost sounds like the perfect sexting app." Really? Because to us it sounds like the monogamy-enforcing opposite.

Rather than drunkenly sexting a bunch of random back-burner hookups to see who is up for a booty call, Pair, which only lets you be in an app-relationship (appship?) with one person at a time, keeps everything all safe and sweet and super-committed. Where's the danger of making sure you're sexting the right number? Or the thrill of seeing something seXXXty pop-up on your home screen while at dinner with friends? Nevermind the fact that a "thumbkiss" has to be the most de-sexualized vibration we've ever heard of.