via viaForbes's Ryan Mac.

Is this the fruit of the most tasteless Pimp My Ride of all time? No, Search Engine Roundtable reports that it's the work of Google employees, who apparently wanted a way to prank their boss's car on April Fool's Day without dismantling a Tesla and reassembling it in the cafeteria (the traditional automotive stunt). So they wrapped it in pink vinyl, added a bat signal and attached some fins, "Chrome" wheels and also some eyelashes, because why not.

Honestly, we're a little disappointed at the thematic inconsistency. Eyelashes and bat fins? You'd think it would take Facebookers to dream up a design that random.

Ms. Wojcicki (Photo: Flickr)

Back in 2011, Google introduced the world to driverless cars through a launch party at the TED conference. Esther Wojcicki, the mother of 23 and Me founder Anne Wojcicki and mother-in-law to Google cofounder Sergey Brin, was in attendance. Though being an in-law to a pair of tech geniuses undoubtedly has its quirks, Esther was rather unprepared for her first wild (driverless) ride.

In a video, dug up by Wired, Ms. Wojcicki sits in the passenger's seat of a driverless car while a Google engineer demonstrates it. A young woman in the backseat films as the car begins to navigate around cones. "It's going really fast!" exclaims Ms. Wojcicki. "Can you turn it off? Is it supposed to be doing that?"

To be fair, this is totally how we would act during our first driverless car experience. That shit looks freaky.

Glass, why did I fall for this? (Photo: screencap)

Congrats to Sergey Brin, who's been wearing his Google Glass around town for so long (does he sleep in them?!) that the devices are starting to seem totally normal and even desirable. But us mere mortals have to wait months. And you know what that means: Where there's demand, there's black marketeers looking to make a quick buck. Just last week, a fishy listing popped up on Ebay, and bidding reached $15,900 before the plug was pulled.

But what if you don't have tens of thousands of dollars lying around? Well then you might start poking around the search results for "free Google Glass." And, as TrendMicro's security blog points out, you might find a YouTube video titled, [{FREE}] Google Project Glass [[FREE GOOGLE GLASSES]. It's simply Google's own "One Day" video under a new name. We suppose that looks promising, if you're really eager to be persuaded.

There are quite a few red flags, though! The description says, "The glasses is not available for public,but it’s possible to get similar glasses for free." Mmmhmm. Clicking the URL that follows will take you to a page with a series of links, each supposedly with information about becoming a beta tester. Sadly, however, there's no real beta-testing program, just a series of survey scams.

The analysts at TrendMicro warn with a sigh, tired of having to crush credulous dreams:

We advise users to avoid clicking on unfamiliar links, particularly those that offer too-good-to-be-true deals. (Considering the pre-order cost $1,500, this would count as too-good-to-be-true.). Users should likewise be cautious of schemes that may abuse the #IfIhadGlass campaign.

#IfIHadGlass I'd never be taken in by another scam again, I promise this time.

[H/t The Register]

Only models look this good in Glass. (Photo: Google)

Speaking at TED, Sergey Brin called the smartphone user experience "emasculating," on the basis that "You're standing around and just rubbing this featureless piece of glass." Maybe Google that word when you get home, Sergey. [CNET]

Could perennial concerns about cancer keep Google Glass from realizing its full potential as a wearable communication device? [Quartz]

Groupon didn't do so hot in Q4, causing a big drop in the company's stock in after-hours trading. "The forecast is underwhelming," said one analyst. No kidding. [Reuters]

Time Warner Cable is pretty sure you don't even want gigabit Internet. Because when you think "attentive to customer desires," you think Time Warner Cable.  [Verge]

I.B.M. is still figuring out money-making uses for the supercomputer Watson. Besides all the big data applications, he apparently makes a mean croissant. [New York Times]

This is the face of excitement. (Photo: In the Capital)

It seems that yesterday's press conference for the launch of the Breakthrough Prize in Life Sciences was an occasion for more than just reporter annoyance at waiting on tardy billionaires. Forbes reports that once the press conference was over, Zuck sidled up to Sergey and asked for a look-see at Glass. “I can’t wait to get my own,” he told Mr. Brin.

Mr. Zuckerberg then took Mr. Brin's very own specs for a test drive, asking questions all the while:

“How do you look out from this with out looking awkward?” asked the black hoodie-wearing Facebook CEO. “You know, how are you supposed to use these this without breaking eye contact?”

That is the question, Mark.

It seems despite the debut of Graph Search and the never-ending bloody battle for engineering talent, relations between Facebook and Google are just fine. There's apparently already a team of Facebook developers waiting to get their hot little hands on a prototype so they can start building. And Zuck's open to suggestions: “Is there anything specific you want us to be trying? If so, I want to be doing that," he told Mr. Brin.

Naturally, onlookers began snapping pics of this impromptu nerd summit, inspiring an awkward moment for the man most responsible for your having to untag all those hideously embarrassing photos. According to Forbes:

Despite being the CEO of a social network of more than a billion individuals who share pictures and status updates every second, he asked that the handful of observers only take private photos of him and Brin.

“Wait , this isn’t supposed to be a thing,” he laughed nervously.

How is Zuck even going to venture outside of his house if Google Glass is ever widely adopted and everyone has cameras right on their faces? He'll have to chill out or turn into Howard Hughes.

Who cares about fashion, you're in a hot-air balloon! (Photo: Screencap)

Google Glass certainly isn't lacking in the whiz-bang factor. The gadget was publicly introduced with a skydiving stunt; just yesterday, the company released a video from the point of view of a user, demonstrating how seamlessly the spectacles can capture your exciting life of hot-air ballooning and snake charming.

But now comes the hard part: Getting normals to want the damn things. Unlike many software developers and/or Betabeat reporters, most of America isn't likely to be sold on the pitch that hey, it's just like what Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge wore on Star Trek TNG!

Hence, step one is to make the things a little sleeker. The New York Times reports today that sources say, as part of a stab at style, Google is currently in negotiations with Warby Parker to get some design help with the project. If the company plans to start selling Glass to the wider world later this year, such a partnership would come not a moment too soon.

Right now, you'd be forgiven for spotting Glass in the wild and thinking it's some sort of medical contraption:

OH: "I saw someone in Dolores Park wearing Google Glass. I thought she was wearing headgear for a jaw problem at first."

— Mike Isaac (@MikeIsaac) February 20, 2013

The problem is getting the device to look like something other than, at best, a glorified Bluetooth headset. BaubleBar cofounder Daniella Yacobovsky helpfully condensed the problem with that for the Times: “Is it useful? Of course it is. Do I look like a tool? Yeah. I’m not going to wear it.” And right now? Even models look a little dorky wearing the things. Sergey Brin, the face of Google Glass, is now weirdly jacked, but it's going to take more than a few hours with designer Diane von Furstenberg to make him a fashion icon.

But the appearance of Silicon Alley cool kid Warby Parker has us wondering whether we've been mistaking the market for Google Glass all along. Maybe a computer for your face isn't the ultimate nerd toy. Maybe it's actually the perfect status symbol for no-brandcuffs startup-guy founders. Jazz up the frames with a bit of tortoise, and forget the Pebble--suddenly Google Glass is the new Nike Fuelband.

Once this things hit the shelves, you will never again be able to have a conversation with a founder when he's not checking his email.

When does Snoop get his award for a lifetime of medical marijuana research?

Here's the thing about philanthropy: There's always plenty of people more than happy to accept a generous cash donation. Hence, Russian entrepreneur Yuri Milner's Breakthrough Prize, which he launched back in August as his very own version of the Nobel Prize for Physics, is branching out. The prize will no longer go to just physicists doomed to toil in obscurity, as Mr. Milner has enlisted several Silicon Valley heavyweights to contribute to a new Life Sciences franchise.

Art Levinson (former Genentech CEO, Apple chairman) has signed on as chairman, while Mr. Milner, Sergey Brin, Anne Wojcicki (of 23andMe and also wife to Mr. Brin), Mark Zuckerberg, and Priscilla Chan are all founding sponsors, as well. (Though it's not clear who coughed up how much.) They plan to dole out five $3 million prizes annually going forward, with alums selecting the honorees. 

This year's winners were selected for things like "linkage mapping of Mendelian disease in humans using DNA polymorphis" and "describing the role of Wnt signaling in tissue stem cells and cancer" and "cancer genes and targeted therapy." You know, just the kinds of projects that make even billionaire startup founders feel like maybe they aren't God's gift, after all.

“These scientists should be household names and heros in society,” said Ms. Wojcicki in a statement. Her husband added: "Curing a disease should be worth more than a touchdown.” We're guessing Sergey is not a 49ers bandwagon fan, in that case?

Said Zuck:

“Priscilla and I are honored to be part of this,” said Mark Zuckerberg. “We believe the Breakthrough Prize in Life Sciences has the potential to provide a platform for other models of philanthropy, so people everywhere have an opportunity at a better future.”

Always with the platforms! We do hope, however, that this is the result of long-term planning and not because Zuck forgot Valentine's Day.

We cannot wait for Peter Thiel to participate in the equivalent of a Nobel Prize for Literature, heavily skewed toward authors influenced by the work of J.R.R. Tolkien.

(Updated: 2:50 p.m.) The boy billionaires sponsoring this prize put on a press conference this afternoon, in order to answer a few questions about their initiative meant to reward "excellence in research aimed at curing intractable diseases and extending human life." Guess they figure we already have some extra time to kill in our soon-to-be-extended lifespans, because Misters Zuckerberg and Milner in particular were an hour late showing up, then said very little that hadn't already appeared in the press release.

Don't they get that all we want to know is where this puts us on the countdown to the Singularity?

"People doing this amazing work should get more recognition--not just for themselves, but for all of society," said Mr. Zuckerberg when he finally arrived. "This isn't a prize where we're trying to have an impact this year." Gotta do something to check The Social Network Effect, if only for the sake of karma.

Mr. Brin did not speak, but rather sat in the audience watching his wife (who sounded great, actually), Google Glass perched on his nose.

Mr. Zuckerberg, please collect your chump change. (Photo: ITechBook.net)

However broke the state of California may be, it's also sitting on a treasure trove of unclaimed property that's valued at over $6 billion. Holders like "corporations, business associations, financial institutions, and insurance companies" are required to report any unclaimed property annually to the state comptroller's office. That means if you've forgotten about bank account contents or uncashed money orders, they're sitting around with the comptroller.

Houston Rockets quantitative analyst Christopher Long searched the database for some bold-faced names and came up with some pretty amusing results. For one, Google cofounder Sergey Brin is apparently owed paychecks from Stanford University worth over $1,000. (No word on whether Rockets player and Harvard grad Jeremy Lin helped sift through the bold-faced names.)

Apple cofounder Steve Wozniak has a $269 check waiting for him from the California Automobile Association, and the state of Pennsylvania appears to owe Tesla Motors founder Elon Musk $408.

The most interesting, however, is that according to the comptroller, PayPal owes Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg $308.62. The address listed on the form is for 1743 Westbrook Ave. in Los Altos, CA, the house Zuck and Co. rented [PDF] while building Facebook. As a struggling entrepreneur in 2004-2005, he probably could've used that money.

Misters Zuck, Brin, Woz and Musk can fill out a Claim Affirmation Form to collect their money, though we're guessing it's chump change to the cadre of millionnaires at this point.

This is a guest post from Gary Sharma (aka “The Guy with the Red Tie”), founder and CEO of GarysGuide and proud owner of a whole bunch of black suits, white shirts and, at last count, over 40 red ties. You can reach him at gary [at] garysguide.com.

Sooooo...it's that time of the year again. SXSW (a.k.a. Spring Break for Geeks) is right around the corner, running March 8 to 12 in Austin, Texas. And you know what that means: Parties, parties 'n more parties!! :) So, once again, we're putting together what we hope will be THE definitive guide to all this year's SXSW Interactive parties. We'll be updating this list regularly, so check back often. And email me if you're organizing an event or a party.

Of course, I'll be at SXSW ... attending all (or as many as humanly possible) of the amazing parties, mixers, networking events, lounges, panels, keynotes, BBQs, nuclear taco nights, concerts, happy hours, karaokes, food trucks, block parties and what-have-you.

So if you can't make it down to Austin this year but still wanna get the word out about your amazing startup / company / firm / service / app / project, you can do so. How, you ask? Well, by sponsoring my Red Tie of course, and covering it in your company's awesome logo stickers and giving me your company's elevator pitch. If you're interested, shoot me an email at gary@garysguide.com for more details.

In the meantime, here's my blog post / highlights from last year's SXSW to give you a little taste of what to expect.

FYI, next week is probably the most exclusive hackathon of the year. Google's Project Glass will be holding a two-day hackathon (February 1 to 2) in New York City that'll allow developers to get an early look at Glass so they can start developing for the platform. Google engineers will be on site to help at any point in the process, and developers will have the opportunity to show off what they’ve been working on.

So, how to score an invite: Your guess is as good as mine! If you were one of the smart ones who shelled out $1,500 for the early access to Google Glass you're on the list. Or you could try pinging Googler Aygul Zagidullina and hope you get lucky! Well, for those of you who don't make it, here's a pic of Sergey Brin sporting his Google Glasses on the subway.

In other news, the NYC EDC is partnering with the Lawrence Field Center for Entrepreneurship at Baruch College to create Competition THRIVE, and they're seeking original, innovative strategies and programs that help immigrant entrepreneurs succeed in business. In Round 1, $25,000 will be awarded to five semi-finalists to pilot their program and create a business plan. And in Round 2, $100,000 will be awarded to one grand prize winner to further scale their program. Submission period is February 1 to March 7. For more information, check out the website or email competitionthrive@baruch.cuny.edu.

On January 30, my buddy Haithem is organizing the Lemonade Heroes Yacht Party. It's gonna be a crazy night of dancing, drinking, mixing and mingling--on a yacht.
You'll be getting photographed on a red carpet, and you'll have a shot at an audition for an entrepreneurship TV series and book.

More stuff you don't wanna miss this week: AppNexus Speaker Series (with Fab.com CEO Jason Goldberg) on the 23rd, PandoMonthly Presents (with Etsy CEO Chad Dickerson) on the 24th and Amusemi's 1 Year Anniversary Party+Dinner on the 26th.

Last week my buddy Charlie Todd & the folks at Improv Everywhere organized their twelfth Annual No Pants Subway Ride. Over 4,000 participants showed up. Here's the recap and video. And my friends Jen and Allison are back with another hilarious edition of Blogologues, playing this week on the 24th, 25th and 26th at Under St Marks (and yes, there will be giveaways!).

And now let's see what's going down in the Alley this week...

DUMBO Improvement District Annual Meeting
All members of the DUMBO community are invited to hear the latest on hurricane recovery efforts and learn what's in store for the neighborhood in 2013. The coveted DUMBO "Magic Feather" awards will be given to Rachel Haot (New York's chief digital officer), Susan Feldman (artistic director, St. Ann's Warehouse) and Jerry Hultin (president, NYU-Poly).
Tuesday (Jan. 22), 5 p.m. @ Galapagos Art Space, 16 Main Street

Next Top Makers: The Business of Design
Join the creators of New York’s Next Top Makers for an evening of education, guidance, and networking. Hear from IDEO storytelling gurus why good design doesn’t always speak for itself, and learn about the role of a designer in a world of 3D printers.
Tuesday (Jan. 22), 7 p.m. @ 3DEA Pop-Up Store @ Eventi Hotel, 835 6th Avenue

The Future of Education #1: New Models for 21st Century Learning
Panelists include Brad Hargreaves (founding partner, General Assembly), Kane Sarhan (cofounder, Enstitute), Juliette LaMontagne (founder & director, Breaker) and Abigail Besdin (head of Skillshare's education team).
Wednesday (Jan. 23), 6:30 p.m. @ Centre For Social Innovation Pop-Up Space, 601 W. 26th Street, #360

AppNexus Speaker Series
Brian O'Kelley (CEO, AppNexus) will host a fireside chat with Jason Goldberg (CEO, Fab.com) and Jared Cluff (VP Marketing, Fab.com).
Wednesday (Jan. 23), 6:30 p.m. @ AppNexus, 28 W. 23rd Street

How to Build Great Communities: Lets Collaborate!
With Sheila Karaszewski (community manager, Airbnb), Tony Bacigalupo (cofounder, New Work City), Andrew Wagner (director & editor-in-chief, Krrb) and James Wahba (cofounder, Projective Space). Moderated by Melissa Young (founder, Let's Collaborate!)
Wednesday (Jan. 23), 7 p.m. @ Projective Space L.E.S., 72 Allen Street

#ArtsTech 4 Year Anniversary Party!
Open Bar with 3 Pernod Absinthe cocktails from 7-8 pm. Variety of grilled panini appetizers. Photobooth by Styleblaster. Tunes by DJ Winslow Porter. Video art by Sabrina Ratte, Mr. Div, Yoshi Sodeoka and Andreas Nicholas Fischer
Wednesday (Jan. 23), 7 p.m. @ The Counting Room, 44 Berry Street, Brooklyn

PandoMonthly Presents
A fireside chat with Chad Dickerson (CEO, Etsy)
Thursday (Jan. 24), 6 p.m. @ Projective L.E.S., 72 Allen Street

dd:COLLECTIVE - The Changing Retail Environment (Presented by Digital DUMBO)
Featured speakers include Philippe von Borries (Co-Founder, Refinery29), Keith George (General Manager, Gilt Man by Gilt Groupe) and Claire Mazur (Co-Founder, Of a Kind).
Thursday (Jan 24), 6:30 p.m. @ Huge, 45 Main St , Ste 220, Brooklyn

Dinner, Cupcakes, Wine & Technology!
Introducing the inaugural NJ Tech Gals meetup!
Thursday (Jan 24), 7 p.m. @ Hoboken Business Center, 50 Harrison Street (2nd Fl), Hoboken

Nike+ Accelerator (powered by TechStars) Recruiting Tour
Join the team from Nike and TechStars to hear about the Nike+ Accelerator. Some local quantified self demos. And the team from Nike will be bringing along some SWAG, including some Nike+ FuelBands!
Thursday (Jan 24), 7 p.m. @ TechStars NYC HQ , 36 Cooper Square, 6th Fl.

Power Breakfast
With Susan Feldman (cofounder, One Kings Lane)
Friday (Jan. 25), 8 a.m. @ Fordham Graduate School of Business, 113 W. 60th Street, 12th Fl.

NYC Mobile Startup Weekend
Where developers, designers, marketers, product managers and buddying entrepreneurs gather together to share ideas, form teams and spend the weekend building and launching a startup.
Friday (Jan. 25), 6 p.m. @ WeWork Soho Lounge, 154 Grand Street

2013 Brooklyn Inventgenuity Festival: Digital By Hand
A popular annual winter celebration of making things for kids and their parents. With public projects and workshops led by Beam Center’s faculty of artists, engineers and big thinkers. This year’s theme: Digital by Hand.
Saturday (Jan. 26), 11 a.m. @ The Invisible Dog Art Center, 51 Bergen Street

Amusemi 1 Year Anniversary Party + Dinner
Celebrate the anniversary of our first startup dining event. Register for Amusemi to get on the guest list.
Saturday (Jan. 26), 7 p.m. @ TBD

More events on the horizon...
TEDxBroadway: Industry leaders envision the future of Broadway on Jan. 28 @ New World Stages
NYC Gaming January: Demo Night on Jan. 29 @ Microsoft
Brooklyn Tech Meetup with Victoria Brown on Jan. 29 @ Feil Hall, Brooklyn Law School
Lemonade Heroes Yacht Party featuring a chance to Audition for a TV Series! on Jan. 30 @ Hornblower Inifinity
Entrepreneurship in the Beer Industry on Jan. 30 @ Professor Thoms
dd:SOCIAL - 4 Year Anniversary & dd:A-LIST Crowdfunding Launch on Jan. 31 @ The DUMBO Loft
Business Insider Presents: Social Commerce Summit on Feb. 06 @ Pier 60
UX Design and User Experience Optimization Trends on Feb. 06 @ Anchin
Hearst Fashion Hackathon 2013 on Feb. 09 @ Hearst
Social Media Week NY 2013 on Feb. 18 @ Metropolitan Pavilion
AIPAC Technology Division: Launch Event w/Dan Senor on Feb. 27 @ Bloomberg Tower

Until next week. Stay thirsty social, my friends! ;)

"Yeeeah... I just had a brief conversation with the most powerful man in the world. On the downtown 3 train. Nice guy," he tweeted last night.

(Photo: Noah Zerkin, Twitter)

Look at that hat! Mr. Brin would look quite at home in any hip New York neighborhood, though he should probably be wary of the fact that someone could snatch that $1,500 prototype off his face at any moment. Welcome to New York!