Not thinking! (Photo: Flickr)

Twitter cofounder Jack Dorsey said he is “not even thinking" about the company’s IPO because he wants to build a “timeless company.” Okay, buddy. [Bloomberg]

BlackBerry CEO Thorsten Heins is predicting that phones with larger screens will make tablets obsolete within the next five years. There's a joke about Mr. Heins predicting the death of a tech trend in there somewhere. [Telegraph]

Turns out Microsoft was the impetus for sleeker site and interface design. Miss you, Metro! [New York Times]

Now two of the Twitter accounts of the U.K. newspaper The Guardian were hacked Monday by the Syrian Electronic Army, resulting in some stressed out social media managers. [AllThingsD]

Here's a terrible idea: "Samsung reworks Gangnam Style to promote the Galaxy S4 in India." The results were less than desirable. [TNW]

Lumia lovers. (Photo: YouTube)

Do you like weddings? Are you a fan of low-brow and uncivilized behavior? Do you also have an insatiable thirst for watching mobile operating systems battle it out for consumer hierarchy? Then you're going to LOVE the new commercial for the Windows Phone. It combines all three of those things in an attempt to halt struggling sales.

In what feels like the 18th different ad campaign that Microsoft has launched to make you remember its phone still exists, the company released another new ad Monday that targets Apple and Samsung devotees. The one-minute spot begins at a wedding that obviously spirals out of control after a snarky (and probable Twitter parody account creator) iPhone owner asks a Samsung Galaxy user to move his "enormous" phone.

A massive fight breaks out between the #TeamiPhone and #TeamGalaxyribes as they brawl, punch and act insane, all in an effort to cater to America’s love of barbaric behavior. Amusing insults include "iSheep," ageism barbs and a person calling the Galaxy a "copybox" owner because who isn't a fan of international copyright infringement lawsuits.

Finally, we see wedding hall staff giggle into their hot dog condiment-colored devices, wondering if they should tell the guests that there is an alternative.

Poor Nokia Lumia. Always the help, never the bridesmaid.

http://youtu.be/Z19vR1GldRI

(Photo: Angelfire)

Digital music licensing revenues surpassed those from radio for the first time ever, mostly thanks to Google Play and Xbox. [The Guardian]

If this really is Mark Zuckerberg's first ever Angelfire page, it's just as mortifying as yours was. [Gizmodo]

Q1 of 2013 yielded a strangely low number of IPOs: only eight companies went public in the three-month period. [Silicon Valley Business Journal]

Not to be eclipsed by Microsoft, Samsung is getting its own brick and mortar stores, but with a twist: they'll exist solely inside Best Buys. Guess they really like the Geek Squad? [AllThingsD]

The Facebook phone is expected to be announced today. Yay? [New York Times]

(Photo: @Tolar)

Bad education? CampInteractive and Reddit cofounder Alexis Ohanian are hosting an ed tech hackathon at General Assembly this weekend, inviting developers, students and ed tech influencers to tackle improve the classroom experience. Since gold stars are being offered for hacks that help engage students with “unusually compelling learning experiences," we'd like to suggest a K-hole of baby animal videos on YouTube—a learning experience of unknown depths.

Eternal sunshine of a spotless ... Facebook Tired of your ex and his new girlfriend/boyfriend’s endless stream of happy Facebook defaults? KillSwitch is a new app that erases fond memories of an ex-boo from your Facebook profile with a few swipes of the track pad. Scroll through your friends list, find your “target” and make them socially irrelevant as forever more (or at least until you get back together). Created by ClearHart Digital, it's perfect for all you singletons looking for a better way to spend Valentine's Day than drinking alone and meticulously un-tagging photos.

Shacking up Samsung is opening a New York City accelerator to support the development of software on their mobile devices and tablets—and perhaps in hopes that planting its flag in Chelsea is a step in overthrowing Apple claim as the hip marketer of mobile devices.

Making out at the movies Looking for a late, great V-Day idea? Moviepass says even bad movies are good for your relationship. One recent testimonial: “Even if my wife hated my guts after dragging her to Movie 43 last week, at least we were able to laugh it off afterwards. The worst films tend to bring us together more.” Nothing says romance like sitting last row in the near empty theater of a new rom-com.

Get with the TimesMachine The New York Times is launching a new advertising initiative that lets marketers incorporate articles from the Grey Lady's digital archive as a base. National Geographic is among the first advertising partner to take advantage of the plan, embedding archival articles into marketing for NatGeo's Killing Lincoln flick.

Too much information Annoyed at your friends for never having downloaded Foursquare? Let Foursquare help! Dennis Crowley's company has added a new feature that allows users to share maps, images, tips and venue locations with people who never wanted the advice in the first place. According to Foursquare's blog “When you Tweet, post to Facebook, email or text about a place with friends who don’t have Foursquare on their phones, they’ll be linked to a shiny new page showing all the most important info about it.” Grandpa will be happy to know which Lower East Side parlor your new tattoo is coming from.

Node regrets Node based platform service Nodejitsu is launching a "full expansion into the European market" with a partnership with Spanish telecommunications company Telefonica, according to a press release.

Sometimes WeWork And sometimes we do the Harlem Shake.

Via Travis Porter's metaphorical video interpretation/a> of his single, "Make it Rain."

Somebody thinks they're a player! Reuters reports that electronics maker Samsung is launching a Silicon Valley-based early-stage fund with $100 million to invest in startups, with an attentive eye to anything in "remote computing, cybersecurity, mobility and mobile privacy."

This is not out of the goodness of Samsung's heart, but rather a way of working its way ever-deeper into the U.S. tech business and acting the part of the heavy-hitter. Samsung is also opening a new "Innovation Center" on Sand Hill Road. Ball so hard, you guys.

Says Reuters:

"It is important to be in Silicon Valley," said Young Sohn, president and chief strategy officer of Samsung's device solutions unit, who is leading the initiative. "This is the epicenter of disruptive forces. And we want to make sure we are part of the disruptive forces."

The fund will also operate out of offices in South Korea and Israel. Hey, what are we, chopped liver?

(via Business Insider)

Screengrab

Samsung's clever merging of a tablet-like operating system with a conventional TV to create "smart TVs" seems pretty cool, but device developers may have forgotten a pretty crucial detail for a major household appliance connected to the web--security.

Malta-based security researchers ReVuln found a creepy vulnerability in Samsung Smart TVs that could lead to a particularly invasive form of hacking. They detailed for The Security Ledger just how spooky things could get if hackers take advantage of the problem:

It could give an attacker the ability to access any file available on the remote device, as well as external devices (such as USB drives) connected to the TV. And, in a Orwellian twist, the hole could be used to access cameras and microphones attached to the Smart TVs, giving remote attacker the ability to spy on those viewing a compromised set.

The Security Ledger mentions Skype cameras sold as accessories for the Smart TV as an example of equipment that could be used to spy on victims as they sit placidly eating popcorn and watching Netflix. They also point out that Smart TVs don't have security at the moment, not even a basic firewall.

Barring access to Skype cameras, a hacker could at the very least use access to a compromised Smart TV to steal data used on social networks, such as login names and more importantly, passwords.

ReVuln has created a video demonstrating the problem, which you can watch below. They didn't hesitated to double down on the unsettling nature of the security hole, titling the video, "The TV is watching you."

Artist's rendering of Samsung HQ. (Photo: flickr.com/adpowers)

Here's a little anecdote to throw in the face of any "brogrammer" who gets a little too self-congratulatory about his, like, totally hardcore partying, dude. Apparently, South Korean Samsung employees party so hard that the corporate overlords have had to step in.

The Next Web reports the company has launched an offensive against binge drinking. Samsung has also "banned employees from forcing others to drink, where employees would be told to take drinks down in 'one shot' or forced to drink as a punishment."

Who knew Samsung HQ was so similar to a fraternity house during rush week? 

But like a bunch of college administrators wielding double-secret probation citations, the higher-ups are now encouraging employees to "organise more formal dinner parties or even meet on the tennis court" as opposed to burning through bottles of booze during staff dinners. Even though some of us would MUCH rather genuflect to the porcelain god than spend 10 minutes playing tennis.

The campaign against drinking isn't the only attempt to stifle epidemic levels of cardiovascular disease:

Over the past year, the company removed ashtrays from its buildings, reportedly going as far as to threaten employees that if they didn’t quit they may find it harder to get promoted within the company.

Uh, there was still a place where it was legal to smoke inside?

This guy means business. (Photo: Squarespace)

Wanna see commitment? Employees of Squarespace, Fog Creek and Peer1 kept their data center up and running throughout the disaster by hauling fuel up 17 flights of stairs. [TechCrunch]

Despite the tendency among Mac users to go batshit nuts lining up for every new product, crowds weren't quite as major as usual for the iPad Mini. [TechCrunch]

It's like pulling teeth to get Apple to apologize to Samsung for IP infringement, as the U.K. court of appeals is discovering. [Guardian]

Speaking of the U.K., Kickstarter is now open to projects from across the pond. [Kickstarter]

Popcorn brand Pop Secret has released an app to help you plan movie nights. And let's face it--this weekend, you deserve a movie night. [Fast Company]

(Screencap: YouTube)

Shooting off some borderline-rude half-baked review of a product or service is kind of a Twitter rite of passage; the platform would simply cease to exist if crochety tweets were suddenly outlawed. Now, the Wall Street Journal reports that your anti-iPhone 5 tweets are actually being used by competitors to mount compelling advertising campaigns. Hey, at least you're not just shouting into a void? (You're mostly shouting into a void.)

While this might be a good time to remind yourself that no matter how few followers you have, your tweets are indeed public, the off-hand remarks of dissatisfied customers are being harnessed to create ads that are actually pretty funny and realistic. Take Samsung's anti-iPhone ad, a Betabeat favorite, which includes classic iPhone hipster lines like "Yeah, yeah but they make the coolest adapters." The Journal reports that that ad was partly sourced from anti-iPhone tweets.

Of course, ad agencies are being careful not to reflect the opinions of a very vocal minority, also known as "people with Svbtle blogs."

The Web "is like a fun-house mirror in that it gives you some great real-time feedback, but it is skewed because not everyone speaks and those who do tend to speak a lot, so you do have to be careful in how you use it," one digital media agency exec told the Journal.

If ad agencies get too Twitter-heavy, we might end up with a bunch of whiny commercials that resemble SNL's "Tech Talk" sketch.

(Photo: wikipedia.org)

Among the Natives David Karp put on his salesman hat this week and preached the Tumblr gospel in front of execs at an Advertising Week event. Karp pushed his company’s new approach to “native” non-intrusive marketing. He went as far as to call Tumblr the "brave new world." The site now nets 27 million visitors a month and is expected to release some sort of earnings report this week, six months after ads started running on the site.

Pass The Popcorn MoviePass, a subscription service for unlimited movie-going, launched today, but is still invite-only. The app lets you check into a movie theatre, which then unlocks your MoviePass card. You pay at the credit card ticket kiosk using your MoviePass card, like you would with an ordinary card. The service is starting out at $29.99, which makes it a steal for New Yorkers because that's a little under the price of two movies with popcorn in Manhattan.

The Most Eligible Bachelor Wendr, an app for planning a night out with your friends, won Samsung and Thrillist's "Speed Dating For Startups" competition. After submitting a 30-second video advertising their app, the team had to demo with other finalists in front of a panel of judges. The winner was picked by Thrillist founder Ben Lerer, Samsung Senior Manager Jason Redmond, and and David Tisch, former managing director of TechStars NYC. The prizes for winning the competition include a write-up on Thrillist (bro outreach!), launch services from MRPR, KinPixel and LiftFive, and a collection of Samsung Series 9 laptops. Does this mean Wendr has to plan its own startup date?

Get Checked Y'all! In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month, Hologic, Inc, rang the opening bell of the NASDAQ this Monday. They also parked a mobile facility in Times Square that was filled with 3D mammogram technology called The “Tomo Coach.” Their 3D technology is locating cancer faster and better, so go get felt up for a good cause.

1 Billion Amateur Editors Can't Be Wrong Aviary, the photo editing app, announced this week that one billion photos have now been edited on their app within the first 12 months of launching. For a comparison, it took Instagram 18 months to accomplish the same feat. The company estimates that they will double that number by the end of 2012. That's a whole lot of sepia tones and stickers slapped on people's faces.

Streets Now YouTube'able StreetEasy, New York’s best way to avoid getting scammed on Craigslist, has partnered with internet travel show Sonia's Travels, to make video content that spotlights individual neighborhoods throughout the city. "Partnering with her on this type of video series was a no-brainer, especially as we build up our original content," said Michael Smith, CEO of StreetEasy.

Witness the iResurrection Digg, still making its climb out of the Internet grave, introduced a universal app for the iPhone and iPad. It's stark white, just like the new site, which looks really great on the iPad. It also has a cool feature called Reading Sync that uses iCloud to sync up articles between devices.

A British Boost Earlier this week, Rightster, a service that helps content providers maximize revenue from online video, announced a digital revenue services company, announced the hire of Robin Pembrooke as VP of Product & Solutions. He's a former Yahoo! guy, but more recently he led the online operations of Britain's biggest advertising funded TV and radio broadcasters--ITV and Global Radio. He should be able to help them out in a big way in the U.K. market.

The End of the Valley, But Not Advisory Boards Twist, the app that gives your friends your ETA, announced this morning that Yammer founder David Sacks would join Twist's advisory board. Sacks started a small firestorm after he claimed that "Silicon Valley as we know it may be coming to an end" shortly after selling his company to Microsoft. Sacks was quoted in the company's announcement as saying he uses Twist everyday and that "apps that help people manage or save time possess huge market value."

A Better Second Round Betterment, a low cost personal investing website, announced today that they've acquired $10 million in second round financing led by Menlo Ventures. The company says that since its start in 2010, they've increased customer assets under management at 500 percent per year. The company also just launched Betterment Gift, a service that allows you to gift money that you make from investments. Feel free to gift Betabeat as much as your better angels allow.