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that's so branson
As Graham Hawkes describes it, he was sitting in the front seat of what is basically an underwater sports car when he was ambushed by a great white shark. He’d recognized the shark’s behavior as a territorial challenge, and wanted to pull away, but unfortunately he had business magnate and Virgin Group founder Richard Branson riding shotgun.
“I remember Richard saying ‘Get closer, get closer!’ and I thinking ‘I’m not going to face down a great white shark,'” Mr. Hawkes told Betabeat.
Traveling with kids sucks. They’re noisy, they spill their gross crumbs everywhere, and they smell. Even airline owner and apparent savior Richard Branson realizes that. In a recent interview with Conde Nast Traveler, he said he would like to create a cabin just for kids so they won’t bother anyone else. It’s sort of like Thanksgiving!
Finally, you can go to Atlantic City and not actually have to leave your hotel room.
The Virgin Group—founded by everyone’s favorite British kajillionaire, Richard Branson—has partnered with Gamesys to open Virgin Casino, a new, legal online gambling site for people in the Garden State.
Fox Business anchor Charlie Gasparino, who was snubbed by Twitter CEO Dick Costolo for comment, had a reasonable response: “This guy looks like the guy you beat the hell out of…I’m not advocating violence, I’m just saying he looks like—.” [Dealbreaker]
Taking a page from TechCrunch, Aol is asking Aol employees to “disrupt” the company since the suits are out of ideas on how to fix it. [TechCrunch]
If you’re a Twitter employee on a diet, yesterday was a difficult day for you! They snacked on doughnuts, macaroni and cheese roast-duck fritters and a grilled rack of lamb. [WSJ]
If Stephen Elop takes control of Microsoft, he’s mulling the idea of axing Bing and selling off the company’s Xbox unit. [Bloomberg]
The 63 networks of NBCUniversal and the Today show are going to broadcast Richard Branson’s trip to space next August. [Variety]
There is only one discernible way to make flying more hellish, and Virgin Atlantic has just added it to its roster, alongside the purple mood lighting and ability to order beer via TV screen: the airline has introduced live stand-up comedy to select domestic U.K. flights.
Space the Final Frontier
Out of ideas on who he can alienate on planet earth, Justin Bieber has volunteered to be shot into space for a suborbital flight on Virgin Galactic. Ginger-in-chief Richard Branson excitedly tweeted the news Wednesday announcing his diabolical plans on how he’s angling to rid the planet of the autotuned manchild.
“Great to hear @justinbieber & @scooterbraun are latest @virgingalactic future astronauts. Congrats, see you up there!,” tweeted Mr. Branson, reminding us that the requirements of becoming an astronaut is alarmingly low.
Somebody check on the president of the Leonardo DiCaprio fan club, because we’ve got some bad news. E! reports that someone–it’s not clear who–has paid $1.5 million for a ticket to outer space sitting next to Mr. DiCaprio.
Can you imagine a better chance to finally make your move than a turbulent ride through the upper atmosphere, followed by at awe-inspiring gander at the curve of the Earth?
Work From Home
Prolific startup investor and jOBS star Ashton Kutcher has news for everyone: he’s a total brainiac, not unlike Steve Jobs! The whole time he was playing dumb bro characters in sitcoms like That 70’s Show and Two and a Half Men and tweeting clueless riffs on sensitive news stories, he was actually acting.
Work From Home
Just when we all thought the furor about whether Yahoos! can work from home might finally die down, Mayor Michael Bloomberg weighed in on the matter–siding with Ms. Mayer. During his weekly radio show, reports Capital New York, he noted that, “I’ve always said, telecommuting is one of the dumber ideas I’ve ever heard.”
Well, Sir Richard Branson, for one, could not believe his ears. Absolutely aghast at this latest turn of events, the gallivanting founder of Virgin Group employed his blog once again to preach the gospel of working remotely and/or butt into the business of other major moguls:
Chief Yahoo Marissa Mayer recently ruled that there will be no more working remotely for the company’s thousands of employees. (Scuttlebutt suggests the decision was due to slacking and flakiness.) Well, it seems word has now trickled out to Sir Richard Branson, founder of Virgin Group and prominent Caribbean island owner, and he does not approve. Read More