Internet Wants to Be Free

In Latest Attempt to Become the Most Hated Company Ever, Time Warner Plans to Charge a Monthly Modem Fee

(Photo: Maximum PC)

When not pissing off the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Time Warner Cable execs apparently take to their evil lair to devise new schemes to wring every last penny out of their hapless customers. The latest pocket gouger? A monthly modem fee.

The New York Times reports that Time Warner is planning to charge a monthly fee of $3.95 to rent a modem from them. If you want to avoid paying the monthly fee, you can purchase a Time Warner-approved modem for $50-$137. Time Warner will then promise to set the modem up during the Harvest Moon but then not show up until the spring thaw. Read More

Cable the Final Frontier

Time Warner Cable Welcomes Sir Patrick Stewart to Park Slope With Shitty Cable Service

(Photo: Twitter)

Stars, they’re just like us! When confronted with the monumental annoyance of having to install Time Warner cable in their apartment, they, too, resort to nihilistic thinking. Thus is the case with Sir Patrick Stewart, famed Shakespearean actor and Star Trek star, who recently moved to Park Slope.

We assume he doesn’t live in a building equipped with Verizon Fios, because the actor has signed up for that dreaded, monstrous monopoly Time Warner Cable, notorious for having fewer stars on Yelp than cannibal murderer Jeffrey Dahmer. Read More

Make It So

Park Slope Patrick Stewart is Your New Favorite Tumblr

(Photo: Park Slope Patrick Stewart)

Dear readers, have you heard the good news? The devilishly handsome Patrick Stewart–Shakespearean scholar and he of Star Trek: The Next Generation glory–has nestled himself between the hip young parents and NYU students in a new apartment in Park Slope.

Naturally, the neighborhood worked itself into a tizzy awaiting the arrival (via transporter, we assume) of the Captain Picard. And now that he’s there, one Park Sloper has chosen to immortalize his new residency the only way Brooklynites know how: with a single-serving Tumblr, of course. Read More