faith in humanity restored

U.S. Farmer’s Lost Phone Turns Up 9 Months Later in Japan

Mr. Whitney, post-phone reunion. (Screengrab: KFOR)

Here’s a story that’ll make you hate humanity a little less: an Oklahoma farmer lost his phone last fall, only to have it returned to him nine months later — from Japan.

Kevin Whitney, of Chickasha, Okla., lost his iPhone last October when it fell out of his pocket into his grain pit — which contained 280,000 pounds of grain — and then was whisked up the grain elevator, KFOR reports. We guess that’s like the farming equivalent of leaving your phone in a cab. Read More

the robots are coming

Man Seriously Suspects Political Opponent Has Been Executed, Replaced by Robot Body Double

Mr. Murray. (timothyraymurray.com)

There’s a polite way and a not-so-polite way to lose a government election. The polite way is to congratulate your opponent and bow out gracefully. The not-so-polite way is to accuse your opponent of being a robot.

The latter is happening in Oklahoma right now, where Timothy Ray Murray, a wannabe member of the U.S. House of Representatives, is contesting recent election results on the grounds that his opponent, incumbent Frank Lucas, was secretly executed in Ukraine and replaced by a robot body double. Mr. Murray, who lost the election with a measly 5.2 percent of votes, seems to think his revelations could give him another shot at the title. Read More