Law and Order
Feeling blue about missing Sundance? Cheer up. Ashton Kutcher’s Steve Jobs biopic is slated to arrive April 19 at a theater near you. [The Hollywood Reporter]
Apple set a company record for iPhone sales last quarter, but it wasn’t enough to placate investors, who sent shares falling in late trading after Apple announced its quarterly results. [AllThingsD]
It wasn’t all bad for tech stocks. Netflix soared after the company announced better-than-expected profit on the strength of new subscribers. [Bloomberg]
Careful. The NYPD has a new device that detects the energy emitted by the rocket in your pocket. [NYDN]
“While I haven’t seen hard data on how this plays out across the industry, my personal experience has been that women in tech are primarily found in these emotional labor-heavy departments, even in the tiniest companies.” [Quartz]
Raaaaaaandi! [Fast Company]
Enterprising pillheads hoping to snag a supply of Percs from the local Duane Reade might have an extra layer of security to contend with soon. The NYPD is asking pharmacies in the New York area to outfit fake pill bottles with GPS technology to help the force catch pill-popping thieves. Well, can’t say they’re not creative.
Perhaps it’s time for a burner phone? The New York Times reports that the NYPD has begun quietly and methodically accumulating heaps of call logs and putting them into a searchable database called the Enterprise Case Management System.
It works like this: When someone has their cell phone stolen, the NYPD frequently subpoenas the call logs for that phone, hoping that if the thief used the phone, the recordings will provide evidence that can help track him or her down. But instead of deleting the logs after closing the case, they continue to exist in the NYPD’s database, and could “conceivably be used for any investigative purpose.”
The NYPD warned us that our precious iPhones were in danger, and they’re quickly being proven right in the most alarming manner possible. The Daily News reports that a man seems to be jacking Apple devices in the Bronx–at hypodermic-needle-point.
This isn’t even the first hypodermic needle-related crime of the week. Yesterday a bus driver got stabbed by a passenger with one. This of course poses the question of what is wrong with people?
The Daily News says the biohazardous offender has “accosted eight Bronx victims since mid-August, stealing iPhones and other electronic gadget, police say.” The neighbors sound worried, because duh:
The New York Police Department has good reason to be concerned about consumers’ Apple products: theft of Apple hardware has risen 40 percent in the last year. Compare that to an overall four percent rise in crime and you have what almost sounds like a crime wave focused on iPods, iPhones and iPads.
Plenty of iThefts occur in the street, but NBC New York reports your beloved cuddle phone is in even more danger on the subway:
Apple is reportedly attempting to poach members of the Google Maps team. You know what they say: If you can’t beat ‘em, steal ‘em. [TechCrunch]
The latest boat lifted by the rising tide of the New York tech boom: accounting firms. [Crain's New York]
Apparently NYPD officers were stationed outside Apple’s Fifth Avenue flagship, asking new iPhone 5 owners to register their serial numbers in case of theft. [Yahoo]
Meanwhile, in New Zealand: A court has ordered an investigation into whether Kim Dotcom was the victim of “unlawful spying.” [BBC News]
The New York City Police want to help you find your lost or stolen iPhone, which is nice! That’s why the NYPD will implement something called Operation ID, beginning Friday, September 21st–not coincidentally the date the iPhone 5 goes on sale. The police will be on point for that, too:
SLUGS AND THE CITY
If you received a new friend request recently, and it wasn’t from a foreign spammer or a Taliban official posing as a hot chick, there’s now a chance that it’s an NYPD officer. According to the New York Daily News, the NYPD recently instituted its first official guidelines for using social media to benefit investigations, and Police Commissioner Ray Kelly has decided that spying on people using fake Facebook profiles is a-O.K. Consider it the online version of stop-and-frisk. Amurica!
XXX in Tech
In light of the three very recent, very public shootings involving the New York Police Department—including the most recent one at the Empire State Building, where the majority of the injured were hit by bullets that came from NYPD guns—New Yorkers may be curious about the level of proficiency our city’s “finest” have when it comes to firing guns in the middle of the most populous city in America. Enter a Reddit “Ask Me Anything” thread, this time featuring a six-year veteran of the city’s police force, answering questions about our cops and the guns they carry on their belts.
First they came for smoking in parks, but we didn’t speak out because we don’t like to subject other people to our own waltz with death; then they came for the soda, but we didn’t speak out because we’re kind of impartial about sugary beverages. But when they came for the vibrators? That’s when shit got real.
The NYPD put the kibosh on Trojan’s vibrator giveaway yesterday, lamely claiming that the crowd had grown too large and Trojan needed a city permit.
“I’m 57 years old. I should be able to get a vibrator!” one outraged New York citizen told the New York Post, which could barely contain its glee at the overflowing opportunity for incredible puns.