Haha, this is funny because it would never happen. (credit: ?)

Developer collective NYHacker invited hackers from around the world to visit New York from September 15 to 19th for a glorious extended weekend of Big Apple sights, sounds, and hopefully, hospitality. Most of the hackers are coming as a group from Mexico; the others are from here, there and "the internet," as the Twitter joke goes. During their stay, the hackers will attend the World Maker Faire and the foursquare hackathon, tour startups in Silicon Alley (check out our handy guide) and maybe take a ferry to a statue! But wait ... where will all these hackers sleep?

NYHacker has been pairing hackers with hosts a la Adopt a Hacker, but there aren't enough couches to go around. "We still have 8 homeless hackers," developer and New York expat John Britton said in an email. "They arrive on Thursday and depart on Monday. You don't need much, a couch or floor space is totally sufficient. Are you able to host one or more? Do you have any friends that might be able to host?"

Willing hosts (please, no recruiters) should contact Aaron Rosenthal, who is managing the event.

Gangster with a keyboard. (yfrog.com/user/brandondiamond)

Remember when organizers accidentally leaked the entire list of 452 hackers who signed up for the TechCrunch Disrupt hackathon? The list has gotten into the hands of some of those overly aggressive, ham-fisted recruiters and non-technical co-founders who dog any engineer with a LinkedIn account. A recent example:

My company is hiring a CTO/lead developer.  We've been accepted into a top accelerator program (like one that actually gets written up in TC) so our company has validation and money.  Whoever we bring on would also enjoy a significant equity stake (think co-founder level).  You can read more here:
www.NextBigTechStartup.com
Cheers,
Camilo [co-founder at GeoSkipper]

In an expression of continuing frustration with pesky talent seekers, local start-up entrepreneur and lead of the developer syndicate NYHacker Brandon Diamond typed back a response that any engineer could use as a model:

DEAR SIR AND MADAME:

I WOULD LIKE TO BID TO MAKING YOUR PROGRAM FOR YOU. WE ARE REPUTABLE #1 DEVELOPER FACTORY IN ALL OF KRJEKISTAN. I CAN FOR YOU, CODE NEXT BIG WEBSITE STARTUP (C+, VBSCRIPT AND VISUAL DELPHI!!!)

I WILL TAKE $1000USD IN EQUITY, STEAKS PLUS 3 COFLOUNDERS.

PLEASE ACCEPTING OUR BID IF YOU ARE WANT 1 BILLION (1,0000) CUSTOMARES. TO BE A TECHCRUNCH ARTICLE IS BIGGEST DREAM FOR KRJEKI CHILDREN. MORE BIGGER IS, BEING CODE JOCKEY FOR ACCELERATOR AND HAVING FOOD ALMOST EVARY DAY!!!!!

GRACELAND,
ALABASTER W. STOPFUCKINGSPAMMING, DDS

Ironically, Google locked Mr. Diamond out of his Gmail account after he sent this email to the list for "spamming." He's not sure how to restore it. He's also currently out on Long Island where they've been 36 hours without electricity due to rainstorm Irene. "I guess that without power, Gmail isnt too important," he said zenfully, IM-ing with Betabeat from outside a Starbucks.

MINECRAFTATHON. Calling all hackerz! NYHacker Andrew Chin is organizing a Minecraft hackathon on Friday. Make teams. Build the most tricked-out possible structures in a friendly monster-free environment. "The event is supposed to be an informal and fun way of getting together and playing Minecraft," Mr. Chin said. NYHacker will pick winning teams for the following categories: Community, epic, outrageous, style, and intricate. At Meetup HQ. Get in touch with Mr. Chin @nyhacker to sign up. They're giving away five copies of the game to newcomers.

IN ALPHA NEWS: Okay, so VHX launched this week, but other New York social video channel curator Shelby.TV is zooming along in alpha over at TechStars. The app started by pulling in shared videos from users' Twitter graph; on Monday, the company added Facebook integration.

SPEAKING OF TECHSTARS: The first NYC TechStars demo day is on Thursday at AOL Ventures and "expecting more than 500 Angel Investors and VCs to be there for the event," the incubator announced. Demo Day is followed by a lofty Bloomberg-hosted event that is... something about entrepreneurs! It's at Webster Hall, where Brad Feld, Charles Best and Ben Lerer are slated to speak, among others.

THE AR GOLD RUSH: You may know mobile AR shop GoldRun from such lame applications as the Barnes & Noble Brooklyn Decker app. They've raised $1.1 million in angel funding.

ASMALLWORLD CONTINUES: "Elites-only" social network ASMALLWORLD announced branded travel deals, "new way of jet set living at members-only prices." Weee! Luxury discounts are really a thing now, aren't they? Eh, VillageVines?

UNFAIR: At last count, more than 110 companies had registered for the alternative start-up job fair provoked by a mistaken bcc on the NYC Start-Up job fair rejection email. They dropped the cutesy name, though--it's now Silicon Alley Job Fair.

NEVER-ENDING HACKATHONS: If you've recovered from Lean Startup Machine and HackNY, Startup Weekend is back in New York at General Assembly this weekend.

SNACK-SIZED NEWS: "GetGlue has hit a major milestone and crossed over 1 million users, and is now a clear leader in the entertainment check-in space." "FindTheBest.com launches its user-generated slideshows." Hiring: Yodle: Software engineer. Red Rover: Lead engineer. Shapeways: Web developer. OMGPop: HTML/CSS.

YOU KNOW ABOUT THE BROOKLYN TECH AND START-UP MEETUP, DON'T YOU?: Well?

FOURSQUARE DAY!: Meetup at Sidebar, 7 p.m., 4/16, and locales all over the world.