mars attacks

New Research Claims We All Actually Came to Earth on a Meteorite from Mars

This is where I spent my childhood, you guys.

If a geochemist’s much-talked-about new research is true, human life began not on Earth, but on Mars—meaning that technically, we’re all Martians.

Today in Florence, Italy, at the annual Goldschmidt Conference on geochemistry, Professor Steven Brenner of the U.S.A. will attempt to prove that early life forms (like amoebas and such) originated on Mars, and then hitched a ride on a meteorite and trucked on over to Earth, which is something that maybe, definitely, probably happened on an episode of The Magic School Bus. Read More

Under the Dome

If You Want to Live on Mars, Prepare to Eat a Lot of Spam and Nutella

Wait, where's the salad bar? (Photo: NASA and The Hubble Heritage Team (STScI/AURA)

And you thought you’d gotten bad about venturing out on the weekends. The AP reports that six researchers have just emerged from four months “in a small dome on a barren Hawaii lava field at 8,000 feet.” Their NASA-funded mission: plan out some recipes for what astronauts could eat on Mars and other long-haul voyages, working with only preserved food and avoiding “food boredom.”

The answer, apparently, is some combination of dehydrated food and Spam. That, and Nutella: Read More

XX in Tech

Barbie’s Going to Mars But Don’t Worry, Her Helmet Is Still Pink

More like the PINK PLANET, amirite? (Photo: Mattel)

In honor of the one-year anniversary of the Mars Curiosity mission, Mattel is introducing a special-edition “Mars Explorer” Barbie, designed in cooperation with NASA and part of the company’s “I Can Be” line.

Don’t fret, though, traditionalists–her hair’s still flawless and her outfit’s still covered in pink flourishes. Wouldn’t want little girls getting too crazy, now would we?  Read More

The Final Frontier

Rovers Now Just Drawing Penises All Over Mars

(Photo: Reddit)

The Mars Rovers have been roaming around the red planet collecting important scientific data that could help NASA determine whether or not there are ALIENS. But as any high school student will tell you, sometimes science class gets boring after a while, and you just have to do what your (robotic) heart tells you: draw penises all over stuff. Read More

Space the Final Frontier

Ready Your Audition Tape for Mars One, the Colonization Scheme That’s Also a Reality TV Show

Nope.

All dressed up in your spacesuit, with nowhere to go? Perhaps it’s time to put your self-promotional skills to work. Space.com reports that Mars One, the Dutch group hoping to fund a permanent human colony on the red planet by turning the whole dog-and-pony show into reality TV, will begin accepting applications by July.

Space.com says: Read More

Space the Final Frontier

The European Space Agency Is Working on 3D-Printed Moon Houses

Cozy! (Photo: Foster + Partner)

From the continent that brought you IKEA comes the latest in lunar home fabrication. In the hopes of eventually landing some folks on Earth’s satellite, the European Space Agency has organized a consortium tasking with figuring out how to 3D print habitations on the moon’s surface using lunar soil. One of the members, London-based architectural firm Foster + Partners, announced yesterday they’ve drawn up a design for a four-person base.

It looks eerily like the dugout where Laura Ingalls Wilder and her family lived in On the Banks of Plum Creek. But hey, it’s not like the studio apartment you’re living in now is so spacious. Read More

The Final Frontier

Elon Musk Would Like You to Know ‘I Am Not the Kale Eating Overlord of Mars’

(Screencap: Twitter)

News has been swirling that PayPal vet and SpaceX founder Elon Musk is hellbent on creating a colony on Mars specifically targeting vegetarians. PETA, of course, immediately jumped on the idea, demanding that instead of making the colony vegetarian, it should obviously be vegan.

Now, Mr. Musk has spoken out on his Twitter account saying that, yes, he would like to get tech people to Mars, but no, he is not the red planet’s vegan-loving leader. Read More