Go Home Science You're Drunk
Sometimes, when there’s nothing on TV and all its friends are busy, Science gets really bored and comes up with experiments like this: do kids act more aggressively when they bite chunks out of their food with their front teeth, or when their food is cut up?
Apparently, kids who use their teeth to tear off bites of food tend to behave twice as aggressively as those who eat food cut up with a knife and fork, the Daily Mail reports.
Kids These Days
If you go looking for any info about “teens” and “social media,” you’ll likely find a collection of alarmism and guesswork that will make your head spin. Luckily, there’s now a book that isn’t just well researched, but insightful, accessible and makes no attempt to box away your concerns with easy answers.
It’s Read More
In Loco Parentis
Today in really, really sad news, kids these days would apparently rather endure cyberbullying than not have a smartphone or laptop, Ireland’s Independent reports.
The theory belongs to Dr. Conor McGuckin, an assistant professor in education psychology at Trinity College, Dublin. According to Dr. McGuckin, who spoke at a recent Cyber-Ethics Public Forum, kids are often scared to report cases of cyberbullying to their parents because they don’t want them to confiscate their smartphones, tablets and laptops. Instead, they’d rather suffer the torment in silence.
App for That
In what’s sure to be the first in a couple’s long line of fabulous parenting decisions, two soon-to-be parents have asked the Internet for help naming their daughter.
With the approval of his (probably long suffering) wife, the husband set up namemydaughter.com, where users can vote for their favorite first and middle names for the unborn baby girl.
The husband explained himself and appealed to potential voters on Reddit, because obviously:
Kids These Days
Yuppie parents thought they had it all when the iPad came out. Fill it with some Real Simple-approved apps, plop it down in front of the bored toddler, and presto, all those brain-building programs would transform their kids into the next Jack Dorsey. One problem, though: Those apps are likely not making their children any smarter.
The Way We Live Now
Oh no, our world’s children are succumbing to the perils of the World Wide Web. A new survey of 19,000 parents worldwide said their kids browse porn as early as age six and begin e-flirting at eight years old. The news comes from Bitdefender, a Bucharest-based antivirus company, that compiled the results from talking with parents and monitoring which sites parents block.
First World Problems
Do you hate your own children and wish they would just stop being so freakin’ annoying? Do you pray that they’d just go the fuck to sleep for once so you can watch The X Factor in peace? Luckily, a new pair of high tech pajamas called “Smart Pajamas” will do your parenting for you. Ain’t the future grand?
We’re all going to enter therapy for our addiction to technology eventually. Might as well start them young. That’s what they’re doing over in the United Kingdom to a four-year-old girl who, after using her iPad for more than four hours a day, became “distressed and inconsolable” when it was taken away.
Her mother entered her into a rehab after she showed “increased agitation” when the iPad was removed. Enter hero Dr. Richard Graham, the creator of Britain’s first-ever technology addiction program, who claims cases like hers are growing and creating “dangerous” long-term effects. He told The Telegraph that the electronic form of amusement was preventing kids from forming IRL social relationships and leaving kids very exhausted from the constant swiping.
Folks, have a glimpse into the terrifying future, a future in which your child refuses to relinquish the right to have you wipe his butt unless you give him an iPad. This is what could become of our society should the iPotty gain any modicum of popularity.
Garry Welding is a programmer with a blog who works as a contractor for an ecommerce company in the U.K. Garry Welding’s daughter is an unsuspecting, angelic five year old who would probably like to play legos but is instead being forced to learn how to code by her programmer father because “Hacker News will love it, honey!”
Mr. Welding published a post to his blog about how his daughter had shown a passing interest in his work. He decided to seize on this opportunity and set up a simple program so he could begin to teach her how to code. Before she could touch the computer he filled up her juicy cup with Mountain Dew and told her that if she didn’t ship something today she’d have to go back to being a test engineer (not really).