This is a thing that is bullshit. (Photo: Sophos)

As per the good scam-and-spam-fighting folks at Sophos, there's a new hoax making the rounds on Facebook. Or rather, an old hoax has resurfaced, slightly modified and fueled by the never-ceasing underlying fear that one day, Facebook will begin charging access to the social network.

Anything but that! Don't make us pay to look at pics of high school classmates' wedding photos!

The message in question blares in all caps:

FACEBOOK JUST RELEASED THEIR PRICE GRID FOR MEMBERSHIP. $9.99 PER MONTH FOR GOLD MEMBER SERVICES, $6.99 PER MONTH FOR SILVER MEMBER SERVICES, $3.99 PER MONTH FOR BRONZE MEMBER SERVICES, FREE IF YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS MESSAGE BEFORE MIDNIGHT TONIGHT. WHEN YOU SIGN ON TOMORROW MORNING YOU WILL BE PROMPTED FOR PAYMENT. 

And so on, and so forth. People share it out of heart-felt concern for family and friends (as well as a desire to avoid paying up), and it ripples through the world's tangled web of social connections.

But it's not true. (Sophos goes so far as to call it "poppycock.") Facebook is free and always will be, as the site constantly reminds us. And besides, can you imagine the proud hackers at Facebook using such a frequent-flyer-mile-style taxonomy for anything? If it were true, Facebook would want way more than $3.99 per month. They're charging $7 for the mere privilege of "promoting" your posts to the top of friends' NewsFeeds, for crying out loud.

It seems shocking anyone would fall for such blatant chain-letter-style fakery. But a) we've all been there and b) we just read this depressing roundup of people acting dumb as dirt on the social network.

Hey, at least the company isn't charging you to hide things, as this Jimmy Kimmel skit pointed out. Yet.

http://youtu.be/x7-7d9Bpdyk

(h/t The Next Web)

(Photo: YouTube)

Was it really only yesterday that we watched with muted glee as Apple fanboys everywhere lost their shit over a phone that is only mildly different from its now much cheaper predecessor? My, how time flies.

The iPhone 5 is slightly lighter and slightly longer than the iPhone 4s, but apparently even Apple fans can't really discern the difference. Jimmy Kimmel brought an iPhone 4s out on the streets of Los Angeles and told everyone he encountered that it was an iPhone 5.

"Oh, it's way better!" proclaimed a man in a Dave Matthews Band hat. "I only have the 4s," he admitted, not realizing that it's the same damn phone. You can't make this shit up, people.