Today, large tech company Apple held a routine announcement about two new models of the iPhone.
It’s the highest of holidays for those who are fed up with their cracked iPhones, sick of their Android-powered candy bars and the four people who bought the Nokia Lumia. And, similar to attending temple, it ate up entirely too much of our day and we felt super sleepy afterwards.
At least we got some fancy new iPhones out of it. But since our contract isn’t up for another 16 months, we’re excited to play around with it at the Apple store some day after work while waiting for it to stop raining.
Don't Tase Me Bro
Ever wish your phone could double as a sometimes-deadly weapon? Well, you’re in luck, because there now exists an iPhone case with a built-in stun gun.
The Yellow Jacket, as it’s known, costs $140 and has an output of 650,000 volts at 0.8 milliamps, which is supposed to be painful but not harmful, the New York Times reports.
Sweet Ring Tone
A New York Magazine writer today coined a new term–phone alarm stress disorder–and we’d like to see the symptoms added to doctors’ handbooks, please (or at the very least to WebMD).
Most people who use the alarm clock function on their phones have experienced PASD at least once. It’s the phenomenon that occurs when you hear the sound you’ve selected as your alarm, but during regular waking hours, being used as some sadist’s regular ring tone.
Looking for a reason to go back to Nokia? You’re in luck, because the company’s new where-the-hell-is-the-remote-control feature is even better than a game of Snake (JK, nothing is better than a game of Snake).
Bob Mansfield, Apple’s senior vice president of technologies, is suddenly no longer an executive. His bio was removed yesterday from the site without explanation, but a spokesman said he’s now working on “special projects reporting to [CEO] Tim [Cook].” [AllThingsD]
Amazon is hiring 5,000 people and opening five more fulfillment facilities over the next few years. [Bloomberg]
Michael Dell is making one final offer to take his computer company private: $13.75 a share. He said he’ll remain with the company even if his attempt fails. [Forbes]
Get excited: Here is possibly what the packaging of the new, budget version of the iPhone looks like. Or maybe not! [CNET]
Here’s a deep dive into the tax breaks Twitter receives from San Francisco. [BuzzFeed]
If you think tapping away on your smartphone is making you look cool and popular, you are wrong, science says.
Per some researchers at Harvard Business School, people tend to hunch when they’re using small devices, which increases stress and decreases testosterone levels — affecting the way they act even after the devices have been put away and “causing [users] to be less likely to take risks immediately afterward,” according to the Wall Street Journal.
Hosting a dinner party but afraid your friends are too boring and vapid to keep their eyes off their iPhones the whole time? Simply buy this tablecloth that includes zip pockets for holding people’s mobile devices, which they could just as easily keep in their pockets or purses the whole time!
The Zip It tablecloth ensures that guests’ mobile phones are kept far enough away from them that they won’t be texting throughout dinner, but not far enough to send them into full-fledged panic attacks.
Rich People Things
Don’t you just hate it when you have an extra $550? It’s so annoying. Like, go away, money.
Luckily, a company called O’Dea Design has created a couple of hideous chunks of matter that will enable you to blow a cool half a G for no reason. The devices perform the same charging function as the wire that comes with your phone for free. You can kill two birds that weren’t even bothering you with one stone!
Instagram is looking to hire a Washington, D.C.-based Political Outreach Manager to “manage and execute relationships” with politicos and to presumably teach Hillary Clinton how to take a proper selfie. [AdAge]
For Q2 earnings, Google reported $14.1 billion in revenue, but earnings per share checked in lower than expected at $9.56. [GigaOM]
It’s believed that a generic iPhone charger played a role in a electrocuting and killing that 23-year-old Chinese stewardess earlier this week. [ZDNet]
Since Microsoft had to take a $900 million write-down on Surface, surely the thing that doomed the tablet was advertising. Right? [CNET]
Tumblr is making it much more difficult for users to find NSFW content and everyone is so mad about it. [Daily Dot]
LivingSocial’s office in New York went through a shake-up yesterday. It shuttered its Midtown South office forcing employees to work from home going forward. Additionally, 30 people from the daily deal’s local events team lost their jobs. [The Next Web]
Google purchased 15 acres in its old stomping grounds of Palo Alto. The company isn’t revealing what it plans to do with the property. [Mercury News]
Netflix’s domination of the Emmy nominations Thursday is leaving television execs pretty scared. [New York Times]
Russia’s biggest telco MTR, which has 100 million customers, has stopped selling the iPhone. [BGR]
LOL at Google’s other options it was considering instead of “OK Glass,” like “Pew pew pew,” “Go go Glass,” and “Glassicus.” Just looking at the face computer is nerdy enough, but imagine having to say those things?! [Gizmodo]