oh ffs

Enterprising Writer Unlocks His iPhone 5S With His Junk

Your dick works on this. (Photo: MacRumors)

The neat thing about the fingerprint sensor on Apple iPhone 5S is that it works. The not so neat thing is that it works a little too well. Over the past few days the Internet has been flooded with alternative methods to unlock the 5S that highlight the Internet’s inclination to exhibit its inner six year old. We found that nipple, cat paws and even feet all are capable of tricking the sensor.  Read More

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Booting Up: Let’s All Watch Somebody Bypass Apple’s Supposedly Secure Fingerprint Sensor

Your dick works on this. (Photo: MacRumors)

Can you smell the excitement that is Advertising Week? Twitter can! It’s set to announce a flurry of television-related ad products as the company continues to tart itself up prior to going public. [Wall Street Journal]

Watching people hack into the new iPhone’s fingerprint sensor is the new unboxing video. [MacRumors]

AngelList, the casual connection meeting place between investors and entrepreneurs, raised $24 million. [Fortune]

Just like a real company, Airbnb has tapped an ad agency for an upcoming campaign. [AdAge]

The JOBS Act goes into effect today, allowing startups to ask for funding on social media and crowdfunding sites. [New York Times]

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Booting Up: Good Luck Getting Your Mitts on That Gold iPhone

*2001: A Space Odyssey music*

Kara Swisher and Walt Mossberg, the founders of AllThingsD, are splitting with Dow Jones and in talks to raise investment at a $30 to $40 million valuation. They don’t get to keep the name, though. [Quartz]

As eyeballs go mobile, Pinterest is introducing a few “tasteful” “relevant” advertisements. [TechCrunch]

Hong Kong wants, loves, needs that gold iPhone 5S. [Digits]

Unfortunately, if you want one here in the U.S., you’ll likely have to wait until October, due to short supply. [The Verge]

“It threw off a hell of a lot of heat, much to my wife’s dismay.” Bitcoin mining gets the A-Hed treatment. [Wall Street Journal]

Maybe Google should check its own pulse before it tries to solve death. [Wired]

shameless rumormongering

Rumor Roundup: Kim Kardashian Might Have the New iPhone and Alexis Ohanian Bros Out

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Selfie study Kim Kardashian could be in possession of the just-announced iPhone 5s, or sunlight could’ve just made her black iPhone look grey. Tech!

Refinery29 spotted a photo uploaded to Ms. Kardashian’s Instagram in which the iPhone that appears looks mysteriously like the Space Gray color the new iPhone 5s will be offered in. That wouldn’t be too much of a surprise, given Apple cofounder Steve Wozniak was one of the first non-Kardashian humans to visit baby North West. But let’s not kid ourselves: it’s been awhile since Mr. Wozniak had any sort of insider pull at Apple and he’s going to be waiting in line for the iPhone 5s just like everyone else.

We’ll chalk this one up to a suspicious choice in filter. Read More

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Booting Up: Do You Feel Good About Yourself for Letting Turntable.Fm Die? Huh?

The glory days. (Photo: Turntable.fm)

Turntable.fm is just going to keep taking away features until it no longer exists. [Valleywag]

You’ll get to see Mark Zuckerberg in a suit next week because the Facebook founder is travelin’ to D.C to meet with top Republicans concerning immigration reform. [Bloomberg]

Speaking of Mr. Zuckerberg, he huffed and puffed yesterday against the NSA’s spying program, saying the government “blew it.” [The Verge]

Marissa Mayer wants to thank your mom for helping Yahoo increase its traffic 20 percent since she joined. [AllThingsD]

“Apple testers have found the device sometimes doesn’t work with moisture-laden fingers covered in sweat, lotion or other liquids.” [Wall Street Journal]