But other than a few twee over-achievers, no one is actually going to try these. You will be too busy drinking eggnog until you fall over and combing Kmart for last-minute gifts.

Here are 50 of the crafts that you are almost certainly too lazy and/or otherwise occupied to actually do this holiday season.

It's like Scarface, but starring Santa.

Look, it wasn't any secret that Pinterest was going to reach new heights of D.I.Y. decadence this holiday season. Can you think of a better place to burn workdays looking at wintery craft projects you'll never, ever complete? But we hadn't expected anything quite as over-the-top as the newly launched "30 Days of Pinspiration," which feels a little like walking into a seasonal edition of Oprah's Favorite Things.

Each new day until the end of December brings another thematically appropriate Pinterest board, from a brand, a well-known personality or a power user. First up is Katie Couric, sharing her favorite Thanksgiving traditions, and The L.A. Times says that future contributors include Paula Deen, the NBA, the Marine Corps and Starbucks.

It's basically an advent calendar, except instead of chocolate you get an 8-ball of pure Pottery Barn.

The site is quite a departure from Pinterest's usual clean layout. Those curlicues and that bright blue background are the least of it. Floating gently in the background is what looks like snow, but is actually whimsical holiday nouns--think cameras and suitcases and teddy bears. Hover over a day on the calendar, and it makes a little chiming sound. The whole thing makes Starbucks' holiday menu look like a half-assed exercise.

It's not entirely clear whether this move is meant to rack up even more users, or if it's meant to demonstrate what the platform can do for brands. But at this point, we just have to wonder whether Pinterest is all some Lovecraft-like scheme to soak up all the world's surplus fuzzy feelings to feed the creation of some terrible new God.

The store in all her glory. (Photo: Joe Zaga on Instagram)

Does employee training at Microsoft now just consist of watching CEO Steve Ballmer flipping his shit on loop? After attending the opening of the company's new store in Times Square, we can't help but wonder.

Microsoft is opening 34 temporary stores in preparation for the holidays, and this was the first. The popup was well-executed, but it seemed a little small for Times Square's massive foot traffic. Inside we found a crowd heavy on photographers, store staffers and dudes in sharp suits--as well as lots of very excited people buying Surface tablets. (Not that they could walk out with them. Nothing could leave the premises until midnight, so early buyers had to come back.)

The interior felt like a weird riff on an Apple Store, as though the designers had started with the same bare-bones IKEA-chic aesthetic then added back giant Surface banners and faux stained-oak tables.

But the most striking thing about the unveiling was just how fucking psyched Microsoft employees seem to be about these products and this store and life in general.

"Hello TIMES SQUARE!" Malinda, the manager of "this beautiful Microsoft store" greeted us from a small stage in front of the still-covered storefront, channeling the pep of an SEC cheerleader and demonstrating the lung capacity of a drill sergeant. She introduced Microsoft COO Kevin Turner, who stepped to the stage and began shouting in the same register, sounding uncannily like his boss: "Hello NEW YORK!"

"This is an epic moment," he added. "It's been a monumentous day for us, it's one that we're very very excited to be able to bring you the first place in the country where we're going to sell Windows 8 and Surface tonight." He paused for woo-hoos from Malinda and her T-shirt-clad squadron.

Friday, he said, Microsoft would be opening more stores. "But tonight, at 10 o'clock, we're going to be opening up this store, the first in the country." "Yes we are!!" seconded Malinda, can-I-get-a-witness-style.

If there's anything that was epic, it was the amount of money Microsoft must've spent on the retail pageantry. Everywhere we looked, we saw ads. It wasn't quite a full Times Square takeover--even Microsoft doesn't have the resources to buy out every inch of Times Square, we suppose--but you couldn't turn your head without spotting the Surface on another enormous screen. Stretching out to either side of the store were signs touting Windows 8 on Acer, on HP, on Sony, like Stark bannermen massing for war.

Finally, after a New Year's Eve-style countdown ("from 8, as in Windows 8!") the sheet covering the exterior came down, revealing a cheerful exterior covered in Windows logos and a giant Surface. Inside, store staffers were jumping up and down to the Flo Rida song "Good Feeling."

It was only surrounded by the Microsoft logo that we noticed the event-appropriate lyric, "No trick plays, I'm Bill Gates, Take a genius to understand me."