A life-size version of the new Monopoly token, via the Today Show's Instagram. (Photo: Instagram)

Today is a triumphant day for cat lovers everywhere, but especially for those who despise ironing. Hasbro's Facebook stunt, devilishly proposed to distract us from the fact that Monopoly takes for-freakin-ever, has reached a delightful conclusion. Today reports that the iron token is getting the boot, and will be replaced with a sparkling cat token. Congratulations, Internet!

Last month, Hasbro asked Facebook users to vote in order to save their favorite Monopoly token. As it turns out, the iron, the hat and the wheelbarrow weren't exactly fan favorites, and were all in danger of being voted off. Though it's sad to bid adieu to a classic Monopoly token, the introduction of the cat is a wonderful acknowledgment that cats are the most glorious creatures to ever walk this fine planet.

We eagerly await more tokens that pander to the young and web-savvy, such as an angry Internet commenter piece and a Snapchat boob token.

Poor wheelbarrow. (Screenshot: Facebook)

When was the last time you finished a game of Monopoly--like actually finished it, didn't get bored in the middle, get up to grab a drink and then just never return? We assume it's been quite some time, as Monopoly is basically the jury duty of board games: lots of sitting around, not much action, maybe getting into a tussle with a weird old guy over ethics, etc.

Now, Monopoly maker Hasbro has resorted to a viral stunt in order to detract from the fact that the game is absolutely interminable, and it's taken to Facebook to play out its hostage situation in real time.

"Save Your Token!" cries the Facebook voting app, where users can vote to save one of eight existing game pieces. So far the dog and the car--a.k.a. the pieces you and your brother always fought over--are safe, but wheelbarrow lovers are bound to be devastated. The poor ’barrow has received only 3 percent of the vote and is in danger of disappearing from the game forever in a cruel display of corporate bravado.

Hasbro intends to replace the losing piece with a new one, but the choices are sure to divide avid Internet users, who must choose between a cat, diamond ring, guitar, helicopter or toy robot.

As we all know, having to choose between a cat and a robot is basically Sophie's choice. Not cool, Hasbro.

(Photo: Club 937)

Consider your most recent nightmare, one that caused you to bolt upright in bed, quaking in fear. Did it involve a Furby? If not, now it will. You're welcome!

You may remember the Furby as an animatronic stuffed animal from the '90s that your parents once bought you for Christmas. It was fun to play with for an hour, but after a while grew so annoying and so creepy that you hid it in the basement and told you parents you lost it (like, hypothetically).

For no reason other than the fact that children are weird and sometimes terrible, Furbies were wildly popular in the '90s. So naturally, its developer, Hasbro, has decided to revamp this gurgling, fur-covered nightmare for the digital age. God bless America.

Gizmodo did an extensive review of the new Furby, which comes in LSD colors and boasts LED eyes. Their findings will churn your stomach:

You don't really "use" the Furby so much as you willingly subject yourself to it. The Furby makes almost constant noise in its own native language, Furbish. Chortles, whistles, grunts, whines, moans, screeches, incoherent speaking in tongues....

The Furby's erratic mania culminates in its schizophrenic personality changes. It shouts, "I'M CHANGING," squeezes its eyes shut, and then reopens them. Now it's changed. During our testing, it remained in some sort of demonic phase, with slit eyes, a raspy voice, and lots of cackles. Once its eyes changed into cows, and then cherries, and it appeared intoxicated. Bath salt Furby lasted for a while longer, before suddenly, inexplicably reverting to docile.

The Mayans may have been right about 2012. Bow to your new overlord, the Furby.