(Screencap: Dress Up Games)

It's so hard to instill the right values in your children these days. If you don't teach them to be power-hungry, wealth-obsessed superficials, who will? With that in mind, a new video game from IDEA Studios may be the perfect holiday gift for your little one. It's called Upper East Side Makeover, and it will turn your 10-year-old daughter into a Gossip Girl yet.

Where other video games might teach your child basic math or hand-eye coordination, Upper East Side Makeover offers the chance for your child to learn the crucial skills of proper exfoliation, backstabbing and vicious social climbing.

Upper East Side Makeover's main character resembles that other famous UES socialite, Blair Waldorf. Players win the game by completing tasks like dressing up, enduring beauty treatments and applying makeup in order to climb the social ladder. It's just like an episode of The Real Housewives of New York, but with less screaming.

The game is targeted at girls between the ages of 8-15, so that their pretty, malleable brains can more easily absorb valuable hairstyling techniques. But since it's created by Romanian developer Daniel Tamas, who himself has never been to New York, it may not actually represent the values espoused by true Upper East Siders.

"I don't know what this is, but it seems like this is just from a different era," one Upper East Sider named Sandy told DNA Info. "Come on, this is just ridiculous."

Sounds like somebody's charity gala invitation just got lost in the mail.

(Photo: Instagram/Ben Leventhal)

Bjorking Your Bachelor Party As a sign of just how many bachelor parties an up-and-coming venture bro is obligated to attend, during a recent PandoMonthly panel, Thrillist Ben Lerer said if he had to pick a totally ordinary superpower, it would be making sure his wife was cool with him going to bachelor parties. (To be fair, it took him a long time to come up with it, so it might not be that high on his list.) Hopefully his better half was understanding about a recent trip Mr. Lerer took to Iceland celebrate the end of singledom for Spark Capital's Mo Koyfman.

The recently promoted general partner invited a number of other techies for the festivities, including Eater.com cofounder Ben Leventhal and what looks an awful lot like Jakob Lodwick and Ricky Van Veen, who Mr. Koyfman would know from his days as an IAC executive "adult supervising" College Humor. Definitely present? Author and MSNBC cohost Touré! Mr. Koyfman tested hashtags for Instagramming his international excursion, trying out #koyfops before settling on #icemomo, although NYC yoga instructor Heather Lilleston also suggested #mochella.

Mr. Koyfman is engaged to Hilary Rosenman, CEO and founder at the shoe line Madison Harding. Ms. Rosenman is a graduate of the Upper East Side's prestigious Nightingale School, where she went with fellow fashion designer Charlotte Ronson. Her entrepreneurial exploits have been documented by no less than investor Joanne Wilson, better known as Gotham Gal.

Wait, when did this become the Vows section?

The New Rock Stars Bravo released an extended trailer for its upcoming, widely-panned new series Start-ups: Silicon Valley. In one scene, sibling stars Ben and Hermione Way are seen sitting at a conference table across from a slew of investors. Connie Loizos, a reporter for PEHub, confirmed their identities via Twitter: the two of the men in the scene are Noah Doyle and Jed Katz of Javelin Venture Partners. "just realizing the puzzled-looking investors in this clip are noah doyle and jed katz of javelin ventures," she tweeted. "poor guys."

(Screenshot: Bravo)

We can only hope that they weren't there to make friends.

Cultural Literacy Speaking of Startups: Silicon Valley, sounds like not every citizen of techlandia plans on boycotting and/or furiously protesting the controversial new show. Earlier this week, Google director of project management Hunter Walk confessed that he's "Been invited to 2x more viewing parties for Bravo's Silicon Valley show than for presidential debates." Dire portent of America's decline, or revealing statement regarding startup self-involvement?

Only the wild-eyed witches of the Real Housewives franchise are qualified to answer, and they're not talking.

xoxo, Gossip Girl Since we still haven't found the time to download Spotify onto our work computer, we've been saddled with that old music standby: Pandora. This week we noticed that the typical background, which is usually dark blue with lighter blue bubbles, was replaced by a large photo of Pandora founder Tim Westergren. "Hmm, he looks familiar," we thought. "Where have we seen him before?"

(Photo: Pandora)

Turns out we had seen him in the deliciously trashy teen drama Gossip Girl--well, kind of. Mr. Westergren looks remarkably similar to Rufus Humphrey, father to Jenny and Dan Humphrey and portrayed by Matthew Settle on the scandalous show.

(Photo: NYMag)

The last time we spotted Mr. Settle in Startupland was with Brew PR cofounder Brooke Hammerling at the Gizmodo "First Comes the Dream" event.

If that whole Pandora thing doesn't quite pan out, we suppose Mr. Westergren can always play a Rufus Humphrey stand-in.

Mayor of Mindshare: How ubiquitous is Foursquare? What happens in the hinterlands is anyone's guess, but the company certainly seems to have New York City on lock. The latest evidence is this snapshot, recently tweeted by Google trendspotter Caroline McCarthy:

Been there!

As Ms. McCarthy points out, context is implicitly assumed to be unnecessary. And we must say, as insider-y local advertising goes, it's far more charming than the tired, am-I-right politicking of Manhattan Mini Storage.

@Emrboidery  How seriously do you take the consistency of your social media branding? Probably not as seriously as Sincerely community manager and noted Instagrammer Doctor Popular. As revealed by this dispatch from Laughing Squid ringleader Scott Beale, the good doctor has his twitter handle--@docpop--embroidered on the inside of his suit jacket:

Sporty!

Hey, there are probably worse ways to get an abandoned item of clothing back.

As always: Overheard a juicy tidbit about impending departures or imminent acquisitions? Dying to dish about startup blunders or frothy financing? Holler at your girls: tips@betabeat.com

All your young adults are belong to us.

With 3 percent of Twitter's servers devoted to Justin Bieber, there is no denying millenials are a power force on the internet. Alloy, the creator of books like Gossip Girl, Vampire Diaries and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, among others, has honed its formula for churning out youth bestsellers and accompanying spin-offs to perfection.

Tween and teen-oriented page turners were Alloy's bread and butter, but the company has lost its faith in books; instead turning to the web and television for eyeballs and mindshare. Alloy Digital, a division of Alloy Media + Marketing, says it reaches more than 60 70 million youngsters a month through its network of websites including the websites for the aforementioned series, new-fangled products like this confusing Facebook app, and Teen.com.

Now the company has announced the acquisition of Santa Monica-based Generate, a "full-service studio and talent management company," a pioneering web TV studio that secured its $8 million series A in 2008, according to Crunchbase. Terms of the buy were not disclosed, but the two companies say they're forming "the first of its kind, multi-platform, next generation media company."

Alloy Digital says it reaches more than 43 percent of internet users aged 12 to 34 and is a top 10 video network.

"We are now the leading next generation media company mirroring the best of both old Hollywood and the new digital era: cost-effective development and production, talent management, distribution, ad sales, social media and promotion all under one roof," Alloy, Inc. CEO Matt Diamond said in a press release.

CLARIFICATION: An Alloy rep writes in to clarify that Alloy Entertainment, the book and TV division, is not behind the deal: "This deal is Alloy Digital, not Alloy Entertainment—AE  will continue to operate independently under Alloy, Inc."

Very Twin Peaks-y background, no?

Maybe it's the sudden threat of Apple TV and Google TV, but content providers have decided to play nice with Hulu. The CW Television just signed a five-year licensing agreement to stream in-season episodes of the CW's programming on both Hulu and Hulu Plus, the platform's subscription service.

Unfortunately, the deal faces the same problem plaguing Netflix: non-instant gratification. Hulu Plus subscribers will have access to the five most recent episodes the next day after broadcast, but free users will have to wait eight days after airing on. NB: Let's not forget that piracy shot up when Fox tried that same strategy.

In addition to "Gossip Girl," the shows available on Hulu starting later this year will include CW's fall line-up, namely: "Ringer,"  “Hart of Dixie," “The Secret Circle,”  “The Vampire Diaries,” “Supernatural,”  and few others Blair and Serena wouldn't be caught dead watching.