This Happened

Segway Inventor Can’t Stop Having Genius Ideas, Invents New ‘Diet’ Gadget to Further Enable Giving Up


If Wall-e has anything to say about it, Segways–or, a form of wheeled transportation for people too busy to use their two legs to walk–are the symbol of the great American downfall. In the future, we’ll all be wheeled around while we snort potato chips and play Tetris with our minds.

Not content to just discourage people from using their bodies, the inventor of the Segway now has a new genius ploy to incentivize completely giving up: it’s a pump that sucks all the food you just ate right out of your stomach, allowing people to eat whatever they want without facing the caloric impact. So … kind of like scientifically-sanctioned bulimia, minus the puking part? Read More

This Happened

Everybody Panic: iPads Apparently Spurring Runaway Increase in Murse Ownership

This is what you look like with a messenger bag. (Photo:

We hate to exacerbate your case of the Mondays, but we have some terrible news: Murses–you know, purses, but for men?–are on the rise, mostly because everyone carries their iPads everywhere. Somehow we don’t think this is the world Steve Jobs envisioned for us.

In the good old days, men used to stuff their scant necessities like wallet and keys into deep denim pockets. Now–with the proliferation of tablets, laptops and gadgets–men are turning to “manbags” to store these crucial items. This is a cultural phenomenon unlike any we have seen before, and one we must surely protect our children from. Read More

Go Go Gadget

Just Say ‘Pop’ and this Gadget Lobs a Piece of Popcorn At Your Mouth

(Photo: Popcorn Indiana)

Popcorn is delicious. Sometimes it gets stuck in your teeth and sometimes it leaves your fingers salty and soaked in butter, but overall it is a delicious food and if you don’t think so the door is over there: GOOD DAY, SIR. But that whole messy fingers thing does definitely deplete some of the pleasure of eating such a lovely snack. So rejoice! Popcorn just got disrupted, y’all. Read More

Go Go Gadget

French Guy Builds What Basically Amounts to a Bong for Food

Duuuuude. (Photo:, Paul Cooper)

Sometimes, particularly as pangs of hunger creep up on you just before bed, you want a little snack without worrying where on your hips said food will take its revenge. It’s normal, really. Human.

But sometimes, well–sometimes you want to inhale a steam of boiled food ingredients through a cauldron-like futuristic device. Luckily, a French scientist is here to sate your utmost desires. David Edwards, a professor at Harvard, has created what one Redditor called “a food bong.” Read More


Booting Up: Tech Savvy Tomato Plants Edition

Yum. (Photo:

Rejoice! Voicemail is on its way out. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, voicemail. [USA Today]

Leave it to a bunch of Brooklynites to rig a way for their tomato crop to wirelessly transmit soil information. [Wired]

Brace for incoming gadget announcements. [L.A. Times]

Whither Twitter? [PandoDaily]

“Known I was a dragon since 1996. Happily married and happy in my identity: it’s made sense of a lot of things for me.” You’re welcome. [@TumblrTXT]

Go Gadget Go

We Tried Out Necomimi’s Brainwave-Reading Cat Ears and They Freaked Out All of Our Coworkers

This reporter as robotic cat.

“What is that?” exclaimed The Observer‘s managing editor as he passed by this reporter’s desk and spotted an opened box that displayed a woman’s face looking rather coy in a bizarre gadget. The box was for a set of cat ears that read and interpret your brainwaves, and they were all the rage at Comic-Con. We read so much about them that we asked their distributor, Nuerosky, if they’d be kind enough to send us a test pair. The ears arrived today in all of their glory, immediately horrifying/fascinating/annoying our coworkers. Read More


Gilt Groupe’s Gold-Plated Atari: The Perfect Gift For That Special Taste-Lacking Startup Baller in Your Life

Lil' Wayne Should Personally Administer A Beatdown To Anyone Who Legitimately Wants To Stunt With This

Say you know a special young person who happens to have an inordinate amount of money to spend on ridiculous things because they’ve been blessed with cash following the selling out of a great idea (or the selling of a terrible one) to someone with Scrooge McDuck-money. And let’s say you need to get them a gift, or simply, a gift for them to buy themselves, because you can’t afford anything they have a taste for in life anymore, even if that taste is strictly centered around nothing more than the factor of out-and-out opulence multiplied by the stupidity and lack of need for the potential gift in question.

Well, here you go. And yes, this is real: Read More