Don't Mess with Texas
If Wall-e has anything to say about it, Segways–or, a form of wheeled transportation for people too busy to use their two legs to walk–are the symbol of the great American downfall. In the future, we’ll all be wheeled around while we snort potato chips and play Tetris with our minds.
Not content to just discourage people from using their bodies, the inventor of the Segway now has a new genius ploy to incentivize completely giving up: it’s a pump that sucks all the food you just ate right out of your stomach, allowing people to eat whatever they want without facing the caloric impact. So … kind of like scientifically-sanctioned bulimia, minus the puking part?
FYI: Anyone looking for a good Apple deal this holiday season should probably steer clear of Texas gas stations.
Yahoo reports that a woman in Arlington, Texas purchased what she thought was a new iPad at a gas station. The man claimed to be selling the device–which normally retails for $800–for just $200.
Go Go Gadget
We hate to exacerbate your case of the Mondays, but we have some terrible news: Murses–you know, purses, but for men?–are on the rise, mostly because everyone carries their iPads everywhere. Somehow we don’t think this is the world Steve Jobs envisioned for us.
In the good old days, men used to stuff their scant necessities like wallet and keys into deep denim pockets. Now–with the proliferation of tablets, laptops and gadgets–men are turning to “manbags” to store these crucial items. This is a cultural phenomenon unlike any we have seen before, and one we must surely protect our children from.
Go Go Gadget
Popcorn is delicious. Sometimes it gets stuck in your teeth and sometimes it leaves your fingers salty and soaked in butter, but overall it is a delicious food and if you don’t think so the door is over there: GOOD DAY, SIR. But that whole messy fingers thing does definitely deplete some of the pleasure of eating such a lovely snack. So rejoice! Popcorn just got disrupted, y’all.
Sometimes, particularly as pangs of hunger creep up on you just before bed, you want a little snack without worrying where on your hips said food will take its revenge. It’s normal, really. Human.
But sometimes, well–sometimes you want to inhale a steam of boiled food ingredients through a cauldron-like futuristic device. Luckily, a French scientist is here to sate your utmost desires. David Edwards, a professor at Harvard, has created what one Redditor called “a food bong.”
Go Gadget Go
Rejoice! Voicemail is on its way out. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, voicemail. [USA Today]
Leave it to a bunch of Brooklynites to rig a way for their tomato crop to wirelessly transmit soil information. [Wired]
Brace for incoming gadget announcements. [L.A. Times]
Whither Twitter? [PandoDaily]
“Known I was a dragon since 1996. Happily married and happy in my identity: it’s made sense of a lot of things for me.” You’re welcome. [@TumblrTXT]
“What is that?” exclaimed The Observer‘s managing editor as he passed by this reporter’s desk and spotted an opened box that displayed a woman’s face looking rather coy in a bizarre gadget. The box was for a set of cat ears that read and interpret your brainwaves, and they were all the rage at Comic-Con. We read so much about them that we asked their distributor, Nuerosky, if they’d be kind enough to send us a test pair. The ears arrived today in all of their glory, immediately horrifying/fascinating/annoying our coworkers.
The Future Will See You Now
Expect posting to be a little light around these parts tomorrow. Unless the Singularity happens between now and lunchtime tomorrow, our plans have room for little other than Coronas on the beach or, in the event of thunderstorms, Magic Mike.
However, Betabeat would never be so neglectful as to leave our readers without a little Read More
Sci fi nerds, ready your engines: the flying car carved a space inside the American psyche long ago, but it looks like flying to work could soon become a reality. The newest prototype of the Transition flying car, built by Terrafugia, Inc., will debut at the New York Autoshow this week, according to the AP.
Say you know a special young person who happens to have an inordinate amount of money to spend on ridiculous things because they’ve been blessed with cash following the selling out of a great idea (or the selling of a terrible one) to someone with Scrooge McDuck-money. And let’s say you need to get them a gift, or simply, a gift for them to buy themselves, because you can’t afford anything they have a taste for in life anymore, even if that taste is strictly centered around nothing more than the factor of out-and-out opulence multiplied by the stupidity and lack of need for the potential gift in question.
Well, here you go. And yes, this is real: