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There’s finally an accurate way to predict when we’re going to die that isn’t the Death Clock: Lasers. British researchers are developing a wristwatch-like device that uses small–but painless–laser beams to puncture your skin to analyze endothelial cells, an essential indicator for how healthy you are. It then tells you when you’re going to die, hence the “death test.”
Feast your eyes on Viewfinder Head to the App Store to check out Viewfinder, the sleek, newly updated photo-sharing app developed by a team of ex-Google and Microsoft folk. The app conveniently organizes your photos by date and location, and allows you to “dial through your memories” with a really cool, easy-to-use scroll-y device. You can also privately share your photos and instant messages with other Viewfinder users—like a more personal version of Instagram or Facebook. Maybe Viewfinder’s trying to make a subtle hint to hipsters posting photos of their vegan eggs benedict to Facebook: not everyone needs to see that.
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Aching for a little skin-on-skin contact, but afraid to initiate anything with an actual living, breathing human being? Totally in love with your iPhone, but at a loss for how to express your affection? We’ve got the solution for you.
If Wall-e has anything to say about it, Segways–or, a form of wheeled transportation for people too busy to use their two legs to walk–are the symbol of the great American downfall. In the future, we’ll all be wheeled around while we snort potato chips and play Tetris with our minds.
Not content to just discourage people from using their bodies, the inventor of the Segway now has a new genius ploy to incentivize completely giving up: it’s a pump that sucks all the food you just ate right out of your stomach, allowing people to eat whatever they want without facing the caloric impact. So … kind of like scientifically-sanctioned bulimia, minus the puking part?
Don't Mess with Texas
FYI: Anyone looking for a good Apple deal this holiday season should probably steer clear of Texas gas stations.
Yahoo reports that a woman in Arlington, Texas purchased what she thought was a new iPad at a gas station. The man claimed to be selling the device–which normally retails for $800–for just $200.
We hate to exacerbate your case of the Mondays, but we have some terrible news: Murses–you know, purses, but for men?–are on the rise, mostly because everyone carries their iPads everywhere. Somehow we don’t think this is the world Steve Jobs envisioned for us.
In the good old days, men used to stuff their scant necessities like wallet and keys into deep denim pockets. Now–with the proliferation of tablets, laptops and gadgets–men are turning to “manbags” to store these crucial items. This is a cultural phenomenon unlike any we have seen before, and one we must surely protect our children from.
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Popcorn is delicious. Sometimes it gets stuck in your teeth and sometimes it leaves your fingers salty and soaked in butter, but overall it is a delicious food and if you don’t think so the door is over there: GOOD DAY, SIR. But that whole messy fingers thing does definitely deplete some of the pleasure of eating such a lovely snack. So rejoice! Popcorn just got disrupted, y’all.
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Sometimes, particularly as pangs of hunger creep up on you just before bed, you want a little snack without worrying where on your hips said food will take its revenge. It’s normal, really. Human.
But sometimes, well–sometimes you want to inhale a steam of boiled food ingredients through a cauldron-like futuristic device. Luckily, a French scientist is here to sate your utmost desires. David Edwards, a professor at Harvard, has created what one Redditor called “a food bong.”
Rejoice! Voicemail is on its way out. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, voicemail. [USA Today]
Leave it to a bunch of Brooklynites to rig a way for their tomato crop to wirelessly transmit soil information. [Wired]
Brace for incoming gadget announcements. [L.A. Times]
Whither Twitter? [PandoDaily]
“Known I was a dragon since 1996. Happily married and happy in my identity: it’s made sense of a lot of things for me.” You’re welcome. [@TumblrTXT]
Go Gadget Go
“What is that?” exclaimed The Observer‘s managing editor as he passed by this reporter’s desk and spotted an opened box that displayed a woman’s face looking rather coy in a bizarre gadget. The box was for a set of cat ears that read and interpret your brainwaves, and they were all the rage at Comic-Con. We read so much about them that we asked their distributor, Nuerosky, if they’d be kind enough to send us a test pair. The ears arrived today in all of their glory, immediately horrifying/fascinating/annoying our coworkers.