Go Home Science You're Drunk
A geneticist has predicted that in the future we really will have the cartoonishly huge eyes of the Jetsons, all the better to take in the dark Martian colonies we’ll call home. Science!
Forbes summed up the results of a hypothesis formed by artist and researcher Nickolay Lamm, who, along with computational geneticist Dr. Alan Kwan, reasearched and illustrated what humans–specifically, white ones–might look like 100,000 years in the future.
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Everybody knows you shouldn’t get into a car with a stranger. And if hackers can find a way to mimic the work of three Georgia Institute of Technology researchers, you may want to reconsider using a stranger’s iPhone charger, too.
I Tumbl For You
Congratulations, David Karp! The Tumblr founder will grace the cover of the January 21 issue of Forbes, headlining the magazine’s “30 Under 30″ issue, in which pages he reveals his “Jason Bourne or James Bond fantasy” and holds forth on his minimalist proclivities.
XX in Tech
Forbes has just released its rankings of the world’s 100 most powerful women. Many of the honorees are exactly those you’d expect–German chancellor Angela Merkel, U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. However, the list also serves a kind of unofficial assessment of who’s in and who’s out in the tech business, as well.
Numero uno is, no big surprise here, Sheryl Sandberg (who comes in at no. 10 overall). The brief accompanying profile of Ms. Sandberg notes:
Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer recently topped a Forbes list naming the CEOs who should have already been fired, calling him “the worst CEO of a large publicly traded American company today.” Ouch.
We leave ranking his leadership abilities up to the glossies, but what we do consider ourselves experts in is his hype man skills. In fact, we dare say that Mr. Ballmer is the Best Hype Man of All Time. YouTube is an unending well of Ballmer gold. And as Deadspin editor Erik Malinowski put it, “He really is a national treasure.”
So without further ado, we present to you the five best Steve Ballmer videos of all time.
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Some do it for the lulz, others do it for the Benjamins. In a piece published today in Forbes, Andy Greenburg introduces us to VUPEN, a company that is apparently a proponent of the latter. VUPEN sells hacking secrets to government agencies for big bucks, and a host of Internetty folk are terrified of the implications.
Late last night, Forbes‘ Steven Bertoni, whose beat is “the World’s billionaires, plus entrepreneurs and disruptors,” released a lengthy profile of Sean Parker, nicely pegged to the Facebook F8 conference going on right now, which sadly did not, as @benpopper predicted, announce the rollout of “brainwave control and inter-species friendships.”
Aside from describing Mr. Parker as “flighty, manic and unpredictable” and noting conflicting stories about Mr. Parker’s departure from Plaxo, the article speaks in reverent tones about Mr. Parker’s “drive to disrupt” and the difference between Aaron Sorkin’s fictionalized version and Mr. Parker IRL.