UPDATE: The Wall Street Journal reports that man behind the @SeinfeldToday handle is Buzzfeed Sports editor Jack Moore. 

Before you give up on life without gChat, some total genius has arrived with a handy new Twitter distraction. @SeinfeldToday has managed to amass more than 9,000 followers in 18 hours by plotting out episodes of "Seinfeld" if Jerry & Co. were still bumbling through modern life--and its new-fangled technological pitfalls. 

New Yorkers who have already memorized every TBS rerun are playing along at home.

The only thing missing, as far as we can tell, is the one where everyone gets lost in a parking garage because of Apple Maps and the one where George's dick pic gets screenshot on Snapchat.