Ballmer Time

This man dearly loves a brawl. (Photo: Wikimedia)

Steve Ballmer Thinks Dropbox’s 100 M. Users Are Just So Cute

While everyone’s busy at the BlackBerry presser (Alicia Keys? Really?), Microsoft also has a big release today: Office 2013. In honor of the occasion, CEO Steve Ballmer sat down with Bloomberg Businessweek for a brief Q&A. Inquiring minds want to know: How’s the old workhorse supposed to avoid the glue factory when any modernization has to be balanced with the needs of a billion customers? Read More

This Happened

How much do we love thee, Drew Houston? Let us count the ways. (Photo: wiki.smu.edu)

The New New Tech Writing: Straight Up Penning Poems About Stuff

There’s the gadget liveblog, the multimedia-heavy feature and the bloggy, snarky take. But as we near the end of 2012, we may have reached the last possible evolutionary stage of tech writing: just fucking penning some poems about stuff.

Dealbook nailed the approach with shining limericks about business news; Googler Andrey Petrov, whose riling ode to Twitter aptly deemed the company “the Benjamin Button of Startups,” set the bar high for poetic programmers everywhere. Now, prolific TechCrunch scribe Josh Constine has taken the baton. Read More

Talent Crunch

DeveloperAuction

DeveloperAuction Helps Programmers Sell Themselves to the Highest Bidder

If you need more evidence to prove that developers are the 1 percent when it comes to chronic unemployment, take a gander at a recently-launched platform called DeveloperAuction.

Billing itself as the “first transparent marketplace for recruitment,” the site lets qualified engineers submit a profile, then startups bid against each other for the tech talent. Cofounder Matt Mickiewicz told TechCrunch, “We’re flipping the traditional model on its head, by having employers submit offers first, and interview later.” Read More

Reality Check

(Photo: Rosie Says)

Pitiful Silicon Valley Resident Asks Quora to Explain The Outside World

Listen, we understand the desire to reside in a big ol’ tech bubble. It’s so warm and cozy here, with beanbags for office chairs, free lunches prepared by gourmet chefs and cashed-out friends lending you spare Burning Man costumes. Why would you ever want to leave?

But sometimes the need for a reality check burns a hole in your chest, just beneath your hand-sewn, perfectly tailored Everlane shirt. While whipping through the city in an Uber expensed to your corporate card, you might grow a little wistful, hot tears fogging your Warby Parker specs. As you listen to MGMT on the iPod you got as a company Christmas gift, you might become nostalgic for a time when “pitching” referred to baseball and you could easily relate to How The Other Half Lives. Read More

Google

Google recommends you seek therapy. (level343.com)

Google Drive is Almost Here

A source has informed Reuters that The Next Web’s scoop was on the money: Google’s Dropbox competitor, Google Drive, is about to happen. Reuters reports Google may announce the new service as early as Tuesday. There will be a 5 gigabyte free version with paid versions ranging up to 100 gigs. As The Next Web noted in its post about the service, the free space reportedly allotted by Google Drive beats Dropbox’s 2 free gigabytes.

Reuters also reported on one of the rumored new service’s more interesting possible features: Read More