It gets better. Seriously.

One week ago, Betabeat rolled out a story about the dangers of depression among young founders in the startup world: 'U CAN’T HAZ SADZ: The Hushed Dangers of Startup Depression.' We'd be lying if we wrote that we didn't expect some kind of response to the story. That said: We didn't even remotely expect the scale of the response to the story, in size or intensity.

Over the last week, we've seen everything from openly empathetic comments to blisteringly cynical retorts; founders and startup celebrities penning posts about their own experiences with the matter; nitpicks about everything from the cover to individual lines, and then some. It also, on the first day, became one of the most read stories on Betabeat since the blog's inception.

As such—and without further ado—we thought we'd do a follow-up on the story: crash notes on everything from the reactions the participants received for coming out to speak on the matter, to the lines they felt were missing from the story, and of course, some of the behind-the-scenes editorial notes on how the story came together.

The Reporting

As it's been mentioned, reaction from the startup community was—for the most part—intensely positive. The piece was written in the wake of 22 year-old Diaspora* founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy's death, which "[appeared] to be a suicide" according to the San Francisco Police Department. Internally at Betabeat, there was a pronounced initial concern among all four of us over whether or not publishing this kind of piece so close to the event was inherently, nefariously exploitative, a concern that after some discussion we eventually set aside with the confidence we had that this issue was as widespread as it was under-discussed. The logic we followed was simple: Young people, a lot of pressure, a lot of money, and very little experience with failure. How is that not an incubator for depression?

What we didn't have—and wanted—was empirical evidence to support this idea, or to understand the scale of it. Were we drawing too much from one news story? There was always the possibility that maybe in the startup community, depression wasn't discussed simply because it didn't exist, and that the type of people to get into these endeavors were just, maybe, broadly immune to these issues.

After one day of reporting the story, we were pretty sure we were on to an issue that was as endemic as it was unspoken for.

The Reader Reactions

The concern of being exploitative was all but gone by the time the story went to press, and reactions started arriving. Most of them were some stripe of this:

• "Important and under-discussed."
• "This needs to get talked about more."
• "Agreed. I know many founders deal w/ these issues (very quietly)."

 
The story shot to the top of Hacker News and stayed there for the better part of two days. Plenty of people there and elsewhere relayed similar experiences:

• "This shit is hard."
• "Hard to be positive & sell your startup 100% of the time when it's impossible to be doing well 100% of the time."
• "Happened to me. 22. Was 19. Raised some cash, tried to build a product, failed. Nearly got sued. Not good times."

 
And quite a bit of praise was also reserved to those who spoke out for the story about their own experiences with depression and startups:

• "Props to @joshrweinstein."
• "huge respect to @joshrweinstein for speaking up."
• "thanks @jerrycolonna for shining light on this issue. any startup founder who is honest has been depressed."

 
It wasn't all positive. The most common criticism on the story we received came right up front:

• "Worst title, but a good article."
• "Great article at Betabeat about startup depression that is sadly ruined by an awful title."
• "Interesting article, but terrible title."

 
Even Jerry Colonna—the guru and advisor to many an angel investor, VC, and startup founder we spoke with for the piece noted: "Ignore the silly headline."

Be it editor or writer, when you come out with a strong headline, you know it's going to be decisive. And this is exactly what you fear will happen when you fail.

As we wrote on the day the story was published, we did have a conversation about the headline, and we knew it wouldn't work for some people. The fact is, it wasn't a matter of wit so much as: How can we sell this rather morose story on people who aren't inclined to spend 2200 words' worth of their time on a downer of an issue? That said, we'd also be lying if we didn't admit we were going for something a little punchy, too. We can't calculate whether or not it drew more people than it turned away, but if we did it again, we might do a triple-take on it, at least to figure out if there wasn't anything better out there.

We'll say this, though: when your newspaper's senior designer, Scott, is making the rare comment on editorial by asking you if that's actually the headline you're going to go with, you might want to listen to him.

The Press: Reactions and Causality

Interestingly enough, most of the traffic for the story came through Twitter, Facebook, and Hacker News. That didn't surprise us too much. What did surprise us was where the story didn't appear. One paragraph that was deleted from the published draft was from the introduction, where we noted the rightfully but unusually subdued tones websites like TechCrunch and Silicon Alley Insider took when discussing the death of Ilya Zhitomirskiy (something Betabeat didn't even initially report as breaking news; not because we didn't think it was relevant, but because we were concerned—maybe overly—with the touchy issue of exploitation at that point, already).

The story, for what it's worth, drew up exactly zero links on TechCrunch and Business Insider. All Things D linked it up on the front page. Which brings up something else that didn't make the story, a moment in an interview with angel investor and TechStars managing director David Tisch, as he decried the lack of culture and personality-driven stories in the tech press at-large:

The human story in tech today is totally, totally erased by the rush to get news out.

YouAre.TV founder Josh Weinstein, who spoke with Betabeat about his own experiences with the issue, noted the effect a largely complimentary press might have on young founders:

"There are very few overnight successes. The problem is survivor bias. Those [successful startups] are the ones you see on TechCrunch."

Another insight that didn't make the original story—one we were especially sad to see go, but knew it'd come back here—was about the effect the tech press has on founders and depression. Big surprise: It's palpable. From Jerry Colonna:

What about the media?

There's a negative implication with the media, where there's a fascination with this kind of culture. The United States lionizes entrepreneurs in a way in which a lot of other societies don’t.

Certainly, we're guilty of it, the lionizing and the obsession.

Yeah it’s the Observer, Betabeat, but it’s the media in general. Look at what happened with Steve Jobs: he became the best CEO who ever walked the face of the earth, nevermind the fact that he left a trail of broken bones behind him

There's that, too.

The Fallout

Making the rounds since the article appeared was another large piece about how volatile startup culture can be, specifically, Zynga's, as they move to take their IPO on the road. Former employees noted how relentless both the work and the treatment of their colleagues could be.

Ousted TechCrunch founder, venture capitalist, and pirate UnCrunched publisher—or whatever he is now—Michael Arrington wrote a post vaguely alluding to the week's recent discussions about the emotional toll working at a startup can take. To summarize, in his words:

Expect more articles soon about the woes of being asked to work hard at a startup. People are working so hard, they’re crying themselves to sleep!

Early Netscape engineer Jamie Zawinski—whose writing from years ago Arrington used to make his own point—struck back at Arrington:

He's trying to make the point that the only path to success in the software industry is to work insane hours, sleep under your desk, and give up your one and only youth, and if you don't do that, you're a pussy. He's using my words to try and back up that thesis. I hate this, because it's not true, and it's disingenuous.

Arrington returned fire , because, of course, how could he not? To briefly editorialize: Michael Arrington, you're being an obtuse idiot, as either you're tapped into what the discussion is ostensibly about as opposed to what it actually concerns—not the extent of the work, but a medical condition that can develop and metastasize into something more dangerous because of it—or you don't believe depression can exist, which puts you in the same categorical camp of crazy as Tom Cruise.

Of all places, I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGUR blog network founder Ben Huh posted about his own experiences with depression and founding a startup. It was surprisingly and admirably candid:

I spent a week in my room with the lights off and cut off from the world, thinking of the best way to exit this failure. Death was a good option — and it got better by the day.

Heading Out

There's one other criticism the story received that we wanted to save for our final word on the matter, which was less a criticism of the narrative than a disagreement with the premise.

From Foursquare engineering brain Harry Heymann:

I dunno, when people ask me how I’m doing I routinely tell them “God, it’s killing me.” I think the rigors of a leadership position at a startup (or really any position at all) are a pretty common topic of discussion these days. Pretty much everyone understands that working at a successful startup is likely to have a strong negative impact on your life, health, relationships, and overal mental state. I’ve also had quite a few discussions on the importance of combatting this and methods to do so.

We'd disagree that everyone understands it in a coherent way, but we'll concede that not enough emphasis was placed on the way many of the founders we spoke with extolled the virtues and rewards of dealing with all the rigors that come with startup life, something Josh Weinstein and his friend "Chris"—another 25 year-old founder who had dealt with depression—made especially clear: in the end, it was worth it, with the notation that there are better ways to deal with it than most people do. That said, Mr. Weinstein also mentioned the ways in which he and other founders deal with it. More that didn't make the original cut, from Josh Weinstein:

Whenever people ask me how I’m doing, I give them a very honest answer. If we’re not doing well? "We’re not doing well." It’s not good for the reality distortion field, but I guess you could say my reality distortion field is just reality. And general optimism. One of my mantras is that hope springs eternal. If you keep going, it’ll work out.

I’m very open. Most people aren’t. What Chris was saying is that founders can’t be.

Where in society is it socially acceptable to talk about it your issues except for 'Blank' Anonymous? [Some of us] have Founder Therapy. It’s like Founders Anonymous. You talk about stuff you’ve gone through. If you’re open about it, and you tell someone that you’re going through a tough time, you’ll hear back: “Yeah, I’ve gone through a tough time, too. This is what I did to get through it.”

Harry? Point taken. As for other founders, as many in story explained—as well as many of those discussing it agreed—the most dangerous facet of this problem is also the most easily solvable: It's not talked about enough. Before we wrote this story, we were pretty convinced it was a discussion worth having. On the way out, it's now become pretty evident that talking about depression as endemic to young startup founders is less a matter of measurable value than it is necessity. Surely, there will be those—like, for example, your Michael Arringtons—who'd rather not hear it.

And of course: It's a shitty reality to deal with. But, of course, most of the ones worth dealing with generally are.

fkamer@observer.com | @weareyourfek

The most—or least—of one's worries.

EARLIER THIS MONTH, ON A SUNDAY MORNING, the startup world woke up to that rare stripe of news which quietly sends shockwaves reverberating throughout an entire culture of people: Ilya Zhitomirskiy, 22 years old, had passed away. The cause of death "appears to be a suicide," noted a San Francisco police officer who spoke with CNN. A forthcoming coroner’s report will make a final determination. Mr. Zhitomirskiy was one of the four co-founders of Diaspora*, once breathlessly hyped in a May 2010 New York Times article as a “cry to arms” against Facebook, in a story that employed a classic tech narrative: four brilliant young men, on the verge of changing the world, subsisting on ramen and pizza.

Y Combinator’s Hacker News link to the item racked up pages of comments, many devoted to shouting down those who wanted to have a discussion about depression in the technology and startup community, noting it as an inappropriate moment for that topic. One user noted that a breaking news thread announcing Mr. Zhitomirskiy’s death was “a terrible place to have a discussion about ‘the stresses of life … related to tech.’”

Another disagreed: “We don’t talk about suicide in society very well let alone within the startup community. Founders find themselves in extremely stressful situations and living lifestyles that exacerbate the effects of this stress.”

This second comment read in contrast to the first, whose final suggestion on the matter was to “have that discussion inside your head” for the time being, and then go talk about it some other time.

IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT at New York City's startup workspace-cum-mecca General Assembly, and it’s YouAre.TV founder Josh Weinstein’s 25th birthday. A crowded party with a sufficient supply of pizza and beer warms up in the main hall. Mr. Weinstein, however, is found quietly typing at his desk in the South Wing, isolating him from the Startup Weekend New York kickoff raging outside the door.

As we find a place to sit, a few people regard him with quick back-slaps and Happy Birthdays. Another colleague working nearby is surprised to hear of the occasion, quickly offering the same. Along the way, he nods to a nearby colleague, “Chris,” to accompany us as we search out a quiet place to speak; the unannounced third party is joining, Mr. Weinstein explains, because he—another 25 year-old startup founder—has much to say on the topic, the both of them having experienced some stripe of professional failure and the depression that comes with it.

[“Chris” agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity not because he doesn’t want to publicly speak about depression, but because his startup is trying to avoid press in its early stages.]

Mr. Weinstein and Chris sat with Betabeat in a couch-filled cubicle, and immediately begin firing off insight on depression among their contemporaries with the enthusiasm one would expect to be reserved for a particularly fascinating segment of code.

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“I’d be really surprised if you could find a founder who—if you asked them about their emotional state—hasn’t been through depression,” Chris explains. As a computer engineering student working at a startup at a prestigious college, and then as an entrepreneur going it alone after he graduated, he’s experienced in sparring with his own mental health.

“That’s why I asked Chris to come,” Mr. Weinstein explained. “We’ve gone through it at different times. We talked about it; it’s a club. It’s good to have that support network. A lot of people don’t ask for help.”

The World Health Organization cites depression as affecting 121 million people worldwide. The Center for Disease Control estimates one in every ten American adults are suffering from some form of clinical depression. In the 18 to 24-year-old age group, that number goes up to 11.1 percent. To Chris, the startup world is even more susceptible.

“It’s not ‘if,’ it’s ‘when’ it happens,” he sighed. “I’d almost say if they aren’t going through depression, you’re probably not actually pushing hard enough, or taking on enough risk, because that’s just an inherent part of owning something.”

In a phone interview a few days later, angel investor and TechStars managing director David Tisch—who once acted a mentor to Mr. Weinstein—corroborated this theory. “When you as a personality are able to take the risk to start a company, in making that choice, you have to consciously understand that you are rebelling against the easy path,” he explained. “That’s not a foreign concept to the people I work with.”

Mr. Tisch illuminated this with a story he rolls out to young founders on their first day of TechStars that his friend—Thrillist co-founder Ben Lerer—once told in an interview: for the first two years in founding the company, after every important meeting, they’d inevitably take the elevator down to street level, and on the doors closing, jump up and down, laughing hysterically. Or start crying.

“That’s fucking crazy!” Mr. Tisch observed. “In reality, that will screw up anybody. Think about a startup experience like that. Unless you’re emotionally and psychologically tough enough to withstand that roller coaster, you are going to go through [those emotions].”

Jerry Colonna, a venture capitalist turned business and life coach to Silicon Alley royalty, has seen the pressures founders (and particularly young founders) can face. Often. “Every. Single. Day,” Mr. Colonna said in a phone call with Betabeat. “Ten times a day. These pressures are not just unique to this age group, but they are exacerbated in the entrepreneurial community.”

In this tightly knit community, he continued, the factors unique to young entrepreneurship can add up. “When you layer status against the pressure cooker of, say, Broadway between 23rd Street and the Village, that whole corridor”—where General Assembly is, of course, located—”what you end up with is a sort of high school [scenario]. Who are the cool kids? Who aren’t the cool kids? Whose popularity is rising, sinking? You get this incredible pressure on people.”

Mr. Colonna illustrated a scenario that isn’t all too uncommon these days, specific players aside: “Imagine that you’ve just raised a million and a half dollars from Fred Wilson. Exactly. Scared shitless. Oh, and by the way, you’re worried that everybody’s going to find out that you have no fucking clue what you’re going to do.”

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Cody Brown, the 23-year-old co-founder of NYU Local and the recently-launched Scroll, corroborated this point by phone from his apartment in Bushwick. “The fact of the matter is: there are a lot of people in their early 20s being handed thousands of dollars, multimillion dollar checks, and having this self-imposed pressure,” which is in addition to the pressure of trying be a normal, young, 20-something. Like, for example, “trying to find a girlfriend,” he laughed.

He went on to point out a distinct irony for those like him in this specific moment in technology startups: “It’s funny how many help enhance that feeling of stress. Like, foursquare! Oh, god. I really don’t need to know every party that I haven’t been invited to, routinely and beautifully laid out on my phone!”

Even the most cursory of looks reveals young startup founders living lives that are potential incubators for depression. If that’s the case, we offered, then why have many of the people we’ve spoken with felt that the past week is the first time a discussion concerning tech startups and mental health has happened at a significant volume? After all, these are the same scientifically and socially progressive creative types brought together by the mandate to bring the world new and improved ways to hack everything from their workweek to their own bodies, let alone socialize.

Back at General Assembly, Chris sighed: “In the startup community, there’s a real stigma to depression. Every time someone comes around and asks ‘Hey, how’s it going?’ you’re always like”—and here, he vamped a disposition familiar to anyone who has ever had a discussion with a startup founder—”‘Best day ever, man! Killing it! We’re crushing it!’ You have to do that, because your job as founder is, to some extent, to create the Steve-Jobs-Reality-Distortion-Field.”

As conversations about mental health and depression in startups stay at hushed tones, the idea that anybody else is going through a common experience is a difficult prospect to embrace. “There’s no way you can talk about it, because you feel like you’re in this alone. You feel socially vulnerable when in reality,” Mr. Weinstein kicked his feet up on one end of the couch, in what one could have easily been mistaken for a therapy session, continuing, “everyone else is going through the same thing. The pluralistic ignorance is a big problem. You can talk to your friend, and be like, yo, I’m depressed, and they’re like,” and with this, he smiles: “‘Yeah, I’ve been seeing a psychologist for the last year.’ And you’d be like, really? And they’re like… Yeah.’ Nobody talks about it!”

Mr. Brown echoed this sentiment: “Founders don’t want to discuss this,” he explained. “They want to have the public appearance of always being in control, and always being on top of their game.”

A 24-year-old female startup founder was at first reluctant to speak at all, noting over an email that it “makes me nervous as a young company to admit ever wavering.” She finished: “I feel like you might run into other entrepreneurs who might decline [speaking out] for fear it’ll make their investors look twice at them.” We did. She eventually relented, explaining her own experience with the problem over an instant message:

“Sometimes you get run down and depressed because your product is fucking awesome, your team is great, and you can’t stop yourself from working ’round the clock on it because you love it. But, your body rebels against that. Makes you tired unexpectedly, makes small problems inflate. And then you freak out, thinking that one off day is going to set into motion many, many more. So,” she finished. “You keep it inside.”

But, we asked her, wouldn’t it befit all parties involved to make this an open dialogue? Founders could get the help they need and investors could be satisfied with knowing the full condition of their investment. The idea was roundly rejected, one Gchat ping at a time:

“No
I don’t even think it would help
I think I’d get replaced”

IN A SITUATION so obviously built for so many involved to experience some form of depression or anxiety, be it mild or severe, one could reasonably assume the venture capitalists handing over money to these bright young things would have trained themselves to see it coming in their founders, and actively intervene. Some, Mr. Tisch argued, do: “The best investors out there get to know the entrepreneurs to the point where they’re there as a friend. It’s a very honest relationship that gets built. The best VCs pay attention to these things,” but, he qualified, “like in every industry, not everyone’s the best.”

“I don’t think [these issues] are getting brushed under the rug, but,” he concluded, “It’s probably something we can all do better in exposing.”

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Of course, the first and most rudimentary answers to these problems are as obvious as they are readily available:

“Stay focused on that self that exists outside of work,” Mr. Colonna explained. “Make sure you are dissipating the anxiety through physical exercise, eating right, all the things our mothers taught us.”

Mr. Tisch’s advice was more philosophical: “Understand where you are in the process. Consciously understand that you are rebelling against the easy path,” he suggested.

Chris noted: “Be comfortable having others know about it.” He nodded at Mr. Weinstein: “You have to identify people you can talk with about it.”

Mr. Weinstein agreed that so much of dealing with the emotional rigors of startup life was simply a matter of battling the character traits that helped those like him get there in the first place.

“Depression is so common, especially with people who are Type A,” Mr. Weinstein shook his head. “When you’re wired to execute and accomplish, it’s a challenge that you need to overcome. If you don’t recognize it yourself, or talk to people about it, it’s not going to be fun.”

Earlier that evening, when we first found out it was Mr. Weinstein’s 25th birthday, we couldn’t help but ask him:

It’s Friday night. It’s your birthday. You really going to stay here coding all night, or are you doing anything for it?

“Yeah,” he smirked, “we’ll be fratting our brains out at happy hour.”

As it turns out, Josh spent the rest of the night working.

fkamer@observer.com | @weareyourfek