Meanwhile in Canada

Here’s What Happens When Polite Canadians Try to Participate in Sports Twitter

Team Canada players watching the Canada-U.S. semifinal game. (Getty)

In case you didn’t spend the hours between noon and 2pm glued to your TV, the Canadian and American men’s Olympic hockey teams just faced off in a HIGHLY anxiety-provoking semifinal game.

Team Canada supporters took to Twitter attempting to be vicious and competitive with their pro-U.S. rivals, but — rather unsurprisingly — the results were still prettttttty polite: Read More

Meanwhile in Canada

Canadians Are Locating Lost Pets Using a Facial Recognition App

You wouldn't want to lose this guy, now would you? (Wikimedia Commons)

Americans may be gearing up to use facial recognition software to find out if their friends are serial killers, but meanwhile it Canada, they’re using it to track down their lost puppies.

According to the Globe and Mail, Vancouver dog shop cofounder Philip Rooyakkers has developed an app called Positive Identification of Pets—or PiP, for short—that helps tech-savvy Canadians find their lost cats and dogs. Read More

For Shame

#Idiot: Woman Swipes Cupcake Sign, Endures Wrath of Internet

749_pumpkin_cupcakes_with_chai_cream_cheese_frosting

Social media lesson, fellow millennials: If you’re going to steal something for “fun,” don’t brag about it on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or even Pinterest, dummies.

Unfortunately (for her), an Instagram user going by @gidalaqua did just that after she swiped a homemade sign in the shape of a cupcake from Winnipeg cake store Cake-ology. She posted pics of herself grinning with the cupcake sign, with the caption, “Last night tho [crying laughing Emoji] stole a cupcake sign YOLO lmfao.” Read More

Beer Me

High-Tech Fridge Denies Beer to Non-Canadians

She thirsty. (Screengrab: YouTube)

It’s a common problem: you’re walking down the street in a European tourist destination and you come upon a giant fridge with a beer logo on it.

But try as you might, you can’t get it to open. Instead of buying a beer elsewhere, you beckon fellow passersby to show them the cruel appliance. A crowd forms. Finally, a Canadian walks up, slides her passport into the high-tech fridge scanner, and the fridge pops open. Free beer for everyone! (Shhh, don’t worry about laws against drinking in public.) Read More

App for That

New App Pays You to Snitch On Illegally Parked Cars

Come on, we've all been there. (Screengrab: Spotsquad.ca)

Be careful, crappy drivers of the world: a new app will encourage passersby to snitch on your dicey park job in exchange for a cut of the parking ticket.

The app, SpotSquad, is being developed by the least fun tech startup in the world, based in Winnipeg, Canada, according to Fox News. Its primary users will presumably be money-grubbing killjoys and people who didn’t get into the police academy.  Read More

Meme Studies

Beloved Meme ‘Ikea Monkey’ Embroiled in Nasty Custody Battle

(Photo: Instagram)

Darwin the Japanese macaque, better known as “Ikea Monkey,” is caught in the middle of a vicious custody battle, according to The Telegraph. Darwin rose to fame when a Twitter user tweeted a picture of him wearing a fancy shearling coat and a diaper in a Toronto Ikea parking lot. He even reached Peak Meme status when he was parodied by every lady’s favorite porn star, James Deen. Read More

New Money

Royal Canadian Mint Announces Digital Currency

mintchip people

Did you know the Royal Canadian Mint, the agency that produces Canada’s money, has been “actively monitoring the evolution of currency and payment technologies for a number of years”? They have! And they’ve developed their own digital currency, the MintChip.

Apparently the Mint recently diverted some of its research and development funds—who knew mints had these?—into coding MintChip, which uses NFC technology similar to Google Wallet. Today the Mint announced a competition for developers in North America. Build apps with MintChip, which is still in the experimental phase, and you can win $50,000 in gold bullion. Read More