Brooklyn We Go Hard
“My name is Oliver and I’m here to say/I like organic onesies and gluten-free cake,” is just one of the rhyming couplets we imagine Brooklyn babies are incorporating into their sick beats at a new DJ school for babies. Because, yes, Baby DJ School exists nowadays.
It’s an eight-week program for individuals ages three and below. Natalie Elizabeth Weiss, a DJ who’s worked with LCD Soundsystem, Fischerspooner, and other big kids with turntables, will orchestrate the whole thing.
No Sleep Til Brooklyn
It looks like no one’s safe from the trendy, skinny jeans-wearing wrath of gentrification in New York City—not even Google.
This morning, The Village Voice picked up on a jaw-dropping Google Maps glitch that perfectly illustrates the effects of gentrification.
If you’ve recently moved to New York City solely to live out your Girls-themed fantasies (hi!), your apartment hunt is now over. There’s a distressing post on Craigslist looking for one lucky person to pay $1,500 a month for a room in Williamsburg. It already comes furnished with a Hannah (who probably becomes more aggravating as your lease progresses), and a gay roommate “with a penchant for backhanded compliments.” Shut up.
Leaving iPads, iPhones, and other expensive iDevices in unattended vehicles is like presenting robbers with a big bow and note exclaiming “Please have me!” So, in an effort to crack down on a rash of car burglaries plaguing parts of Brooklyn, the police are going to shame you.
Today Mayor Michael Bloomberg delivered his final State of the City address. Amid wisecracks about the Knowles-Carter family (you might know Barclays Center part owner Shawn Carter “by what he’s been called since the Super Bowl: Beyoncé’s husband”), Hizzoner had plenty to say about the city’s tech sector. Hey, he can’t let President Obama totally blow up his spot.
Below, a few of the big shout-outs:
NYC Minus MTA
Paulo Coehlo, the highly-acclaimed Brazilian novelist behind The Alchemist, has more than 10 million “likes” on his Facebook page and almost 7 million followers on Twitter. A few hours ago, all those social media fans saw Mr. Coehlo share a manifesto on Facebook and Twitter. He also made it the background of his Twitter profile.
Since Mr. Coehlo included his name in big, red font at the bottom of the post, his followers could be forgiven for assuming he had written it. However, the manifesto is actually the copyrighted work of Holstee, a New York City-based lifestyle goods company that describes itself as “pursuing our dream for a sustainable & united planet.”
No Sleep Til
Though the MTA has begun limited subway service in parts of Manhattan and Queens, commuters hoping to get from Brooklyn to Midtown are stuck riding shuttles running from downtown Brooklyn to 53rd and Lex. If you were hoping to saunter over to the Barclay’s Center and leisurely hop onto one of these buses, please think again.
It might look like an oil carrier abandoned on a forgotten shore, but the Verge reports that the recently opened Barclays Center is actually something of a technological showcase. The Internet: It’s not just for Manhattan anymore!
According to the Verge, you won’t just be able to get 3G and LTE reception, which is already an improvement over many massive structures. There’s also free Wifi available throughout the stadium. That’s good news for all you music buffs out there, because it means there’ll be a ton of footage from the concerts later this month–Jay-Z, Justin Bieber, the Who, Barbra Steisand–available on YouTube for approximately two hours before the copyright bots start playing whack-a-mole.
Make It So
Rejoice! Voicemail is on its way out. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, voicemail. [USA Today]
Leave it to a bunch of Brooklynites to rig a way for their tomato crop to wirelessly transmit soil information. [Wired]
Brace for incoming gadget announcements. [L.A. Times]
Whither Twitter? [PandoDaily]
“Known I was a dragon since 1996. Happily married and happy in my identity: it’s made sense of a lot of things for me.” You’re welcome. [@TumblrTXT]
Dear readers, have you heard the good news? The devilishly handsome Patrick Stewart–Shakespearean scholar and he of Star Trek: The Next Generation glory–has nestled himself between the hip young parents and NYU students in a new apartment in Park Slope.
Naturally, the neighborhood worked itself into a tizzy awaiting the arrival (via transporter, we assume) of the Captain Picard. And now that he’s there, one Park Sloper has chosen to immortalize his new residency the only way Brooklynites know how: with a single-serving Tumblr, of course.