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Not thinking! (Photo: Flickr)

Booting Up: Jack Dorsey Isn’t Thinking About a Twitter IPO So Stop Asking

Twitter cofounder Jack Dorsey said he is “not even thinking” about the company’s IPO because he wants to build a “timeless company.” Okay, buddy. [Bloomberg]

BlackBerry CEO Thorsten Heins is predicting that phones with larger screens will make tablets obsolete within the next five years. There’s a joke about Mr. Heins predicting the death of a tech trend in there somewhere. [Telegraph]

Turns out Microsoft was the impetus for sleeker site and interface design. Miss you, Metro! [New York Times]

Now two of the Twitter accounts of the U.K. newspaper The Guardian were hacked Monday by the Syrian Electronic Army, resulting in some stressed out social media managers. [AllThingsD]

Here’s a terrible idea: “Samsung reworks Gangnam Style to promote the Galaxy S4 in India.” The results were less than desirable. [TNW]

Visiting Dignitaries

Beast mode. (Photo: Hashgram)

Alicia Keys Is BlackBerry’s Annoying Go-Getter Intern All the Other Interns Hate

It looks like BlackBerry’s new social media intern “global creative director” Alicia Keys is settling into her new gig quite nicely. AdAge reports that her workday doesn’t solely consist of forcing people to make ugly cryfaces while she belts out “Girl on Fire” in the cafeteria for the 800th time. Rather, she’s being super hands on by actually going to meetings and stuff. Read More

shameless rumormongering

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Rumor Roundup: In Which an Angry Reader Hopes We Are Forced to ‘Work on a Land Line Forever’

A (literal) letter to the editor: When Betabeat freelancer David Shapiro wrote a damning review of the new BlackBerry Z10, saying that people would think less of you if you opted for it over an iPhone, we expected to receive some angry feedback. What we did not expect, however, was to receive a real paper letter, mailed to our offices, lamenting the “hugely irritating and pompous and dumb and plain silly” post. We suppose it’s appropriate, however, that such an impassioned BlackBerry user would take to the mailbox instead of email–does email even work on that thing? (JK) Read More

Linkages

See ya! (Photo: Wikipedia)

Booting Up: Just Kidding, Some of You Aren’t Getting Google Glass After All

How quickly Google giveths, it takes away. The company said it rescinded its Glass offer to some of the #ifihadglass contest winners for not complying with the rules. Bitchy! [CNet]

Sue Gardner, the “driving force” behind Wikipedia’s rapid growth, is stepping down. But don’t edit her page just yet! She isn’t leaving the company for another six months. [NY Times]

Blackberry posted a profit last quarter but Blackberry owners are still waiting for the news to load on their phones. Perhaps BBM it to them? [AllThingsD]

Speaking of not-dead messaging apps, the Wall Street Journal digs into the rapidly growing sector of texting apps that’s siphoned $23 billion in revenue from carriers in 2012. [WSJ]

The BBC has a pretty great feature on the rise of dating websites aimed at people with sexually transmitted diseases, because everyone needs to be loved. [BBC]

Linkages

(Photo: Talk Android)

Booting Up: Yes, Eric Schmidt Loves His BlackBerry

Google has applied for a new patent that shows the company is thinking about programming Google Glass to be able to control objects like your garage door and your refrigerator. You’d simply look at your fridge door and superimposed controls would be reflected onto it, telling you you need milk. Uh, want? [Engadget]

This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who reads our rumor roundup, but turns out Google chairman Eric Schmidt does indeed prefer his BlackBerry over an Android phone. [The Guardian]

Now Google is building a smartwatch. How many watches can one human need? [The Verge]

If you want to commit cyberwar, you’re going to need the manual. [AP]

Virtual currency like Bitcoin is getting money laundering rules that will hold providers accountable in a similar manner to money-order providers like Western Union. Sorry, Silk Road. [Wall Street Journal]

Nope

SMDH. (Photo: screencap)

BlackBerry Should Be Banned from America For This Cover of ‘At Last’

It would be bad enough if this latest ill-advised BlackBerry video simply featured a team of execs performing the Etta James classic “At Last.” Queen Bey herself is just barely qualified to touch this song. But to replace the lyrics with lines like “all the promise has come true, your games and apps are in the storefront of our new platform built for you”? It’s an insult to America’s musical tradition and frankly Homeland Security should probably get involved. Read More