The letter reads:

Mr. Shapiro--whoever you are--

I have had a Blackberry for many, many years. I have worked with it here and in EUrope and I have arrived at some very important work arrangements with it.

No one thinks I am behind times except those who want to sell me another device. Your intimation that I may be looked down on because I dno't have an iPhone is hugely irritating and pompous and dumb and plain silly.

May you be faced to work on a land line forever!

Way harsh, dude.

Book learnin' Good news for would-be inhabitants of Mars, who ought to know as much about their future God Emperor as possible: Bloomberg Businessweek writer Ashlee Vance has sold The Iron Man: Elon Musk's Quest to Forge a Fantastic Future to the publisher Ecco. "As we say in Texas, git er done," Mr. Vance concluded on Twitter. But he could perhaps have a bit of competition: AllThingsD's Peter Kafka promptly responded, "But I'm writing MUSKIE: HE WAS NO HUBERT HUMPRHEY."

Emperor’s New Clothes Former Apple exec Ron Johnson’s takeover of the dowdy JCPenney brand was an unmitigated disaster, but at least it helped him in the style department! His Apple regimented wardrobe consisted of a pair of dowdy jeans and a drab, lightweight sweater that looks like it was from the "old" Penney's. Then towards the end of his reign at Penney’s, it looks like he was sporting a cost conscious JF J Ferrar slim fit suit and a Van Huesen tie. Hope he stocked up before his employee discount expired.

S-WHAT? This week, New York introduced us to a notion spawned at (of course) Yale: "SWUG," which stands for Senior Washed-Up Girl. Think of it as an entire ethos that revolves around giving zero fucks. And so it's not surprising the concept would resonate outside its original home: "I might be an adult #SWUG," tweeted PR superstar Brooke Hammerling in response to the piece. Aren't we all, lady.

Meet the Elite "ZOMGGGG!" tweeted Noosphere founder Pascal-Emmanuel Gobry earlier this morning. What could have gotten @PEG so excited?

Our invitation must have gotten lost in the mail.

Bitbusted This week, we all had front-row seats to a bubble inflating and deflated at Internet speed. On Tuesday, things looked so sunny that Business Insider's Steve Kovach tweeted, "Henry just told me Bitcoin is going to $5,000 because 'why not?!?!'" That would be Henry Blodget, whose boosterism has gotten him into trouble before. Well, on Wednesday prices peaked at $266, then promptly crashed. The currency is now somewhere in the neighborhood of $93.00.

Souvenirs Anyone remember his high school Korean? Google Ideas director Jared Cohen, who rode along on Eric Schmidt's trip to North Korea but was overshadowed by Bill Richardson's cravat, needs a little translation. Seems he picked up a piece of art while north of the 38th Parallel, but he can't remember what the damn thing says. Hence, a tweet requesting the crowd drop a little wisdom on him:

Girl gets job Today is the last day of our esteemed editor, Nitasha Tiku, who is heading over to Gawker as a Senior Writer. Please wish her well and enjoy this Vine of our final meal together.

https://twitter.com/nitashatiku/status/322786545469898753

Gizmodo's Sam Biddle sluttin' it up at CES. (Photo: Gizmodo)

News of the first annual Objectify a Male Tech Writer Day swept across the web this morning following an article penned by one of the event's founders, gaming and social media reporter Leigh Alexander. "From booth babes to harassment, snide comments to double standards, women have often had a hard time feeling comfortable around the tech industry," she wrote. In order to demonstrate "the absurdity of objectifying people you claim to agree with or support intellectually," she's encouraging female tech writers to give gendered compliments or make sexist proclamations to men about their work.

Though the actual Objectify a Male Tech Writer Day isn't until February 1st, Betabeat--comprised primarily of female writers--could hardly contain ourselves. Here are 25 gendered comments for 25 of our favorite male tech writers.

Walt Mossberg: What's a pretty face like yours doing buried in those product specs?

Mike Isaac: Shut up, honey, the women (Kara and Liz) are talking.

Ryan Tate: Started a flame war with Steve Jobs just to get some attention.

Sam Biddle: Hey baby, want a massage?

Mat Honan: It's cute how you just discovered two-step authentication last year.

David Pogue: All your scoops come from your PR girlfriend.

Michael Arrington: Swaggy? More like bitchy. Men should keep their opinions to themselves.

Steven Levy: Only wears glasses to look more authentically geeky.

John Herrman: 17 Ways John Herrman Uses His Looks to Get Ahead

Peter Kafka: You smell amazing.

Farhad Manjoo: Maybe I'd take you more seriously if your Twitter avatar wasn't so suggestive.

Anil Dash: Nag!

Peter Ha: Only a celebrated reporter because he can fill out a hoodie.

Carl Franzen: Just because it's an all-night hackathon doesn't mean you shouldn't put in a little effort.

Om Malik: He just googled some companies to look cool, he doesn’t really get tech.

Eric Eldon: We know Alexia does all the work and you were just hired as window dressing.

Ben Popper: Why are you being MEAN to STARTUPS?

Josh Topolsky: Why don't you go back to makeup reviews?

Steve Kovach: Your obsession with Snapchat proves you're a sexting slut.

Jason Del Rey: Your Twitter presence is adorable.

Nick Bilton: Maybe try an industry where you'd fit in better, like construction.

Ashlee Vance: Who'd you sleep with to get on the Techmeme leaderboard?

Bryan Goldberg: We never see you around at tech parties. You should come outttttt more.

Christopher Mims: FAKE GEEK GUY ALERT

Adrian Chen: Pretending to like Reddit so he can be the only boy in a girls' club.

Brian X. Chen: What's a nice boy like you doing at a gadget convention?