XXX in Tech

‘Spreadsheets’ App Measures How Loud You Moan to Determine If You’re Good at Sex

"Lol sorry for ejaculating prematurely." (Photo: Spreadsheets)

Here at Betabeat, we’ve always said the key metric for determining a good sex partner is the decibel at which they shriek during intercourse.

Now a new app called “Spreadsheets” promises to help you quantify all of the things that supposedly add up to satisfying sex–such as the number of thrusts and the pitch of your scream–to determine whether or not you’re good in the sack. (Hint: if you need an app to figure this out, you’re probably not.) Read More

App for That

College Was Just Ruined By a New App That Exposes Fake IDs

Mmmm, beer. (Photo: Facebook)

Showing up underage to a bar with a fake ID is always a gamble no matter how legit your cousin’s old card from Ohio looks. But there’s a new app called BarZapp that is going to ensure the house always wins. Using the phone’s camera, it scans the card’s magnetic strip for decode if there’s actually information stored on it so that piece of laminate black tape isn’t going to cut it anymore. Read More

App Ecomony

City Unveils Exciting New App That Lets You Refill Your Parking Meter

Fancy parking meter. (Photo: Flickr)

Be gone, parking meter anxiety!  Today Mayor Michael Bloomberg unveiled  a new app that lets users refill their meters remotely, thus eliminating the debilitating mental condition of worrying when the parking meter maid is going to strike next.

The free pilot program is currently being tested on nearly 300 meters in the Belmont neighborhood of the Bronx, according to a press release from the Mayor’s office. The New York Post notes that the initiative was announced in 2009 but is now finally being deployed. Read More

Visiting Dignitaries

Lena Dunham Takes a Stab At the ‘Bougie Nightmare’ Of Working In Startups


It’s been said that if Sex And The City were still on the air, Carrie would be dating a startup dude. (For related theories on how George Costanza would deal with Snapchat, please see @ModernSeinfeld.)

Lucky for Lena Dunham that her Brooklyn-based take on entitlement coincides with the rise of New York’s nouveau tech riches. We already saw boho babe Jessa slum it with a square venture capitalist. (Factcheck on his “Steal My Sunshine” mash-up, though: In real life, VCs are much more partial to posting indie rock or dad rock on their Tumblr. And we’re sorry to report you probably picked the same song of the year.) Read More