Is that disbelief we see peeking through his face? (Photo: screencap)

Antivirus pioneer/international fugitive John McAfee is back on American soil, holed up in a Miami hotel. He's chucked the Vice guys, but that doesn't mean the dog-and-pony show is over. Witness this recent interview with ABC News, in which he admits that his supposed heart attack was "of course" part of an elaborate deception to get out of the country. Duh!

He continued laying it on thick for the ABC News reporter making his very best Serious Business face:

"What's a better story, millionaire mad man on the run. You [the media] saved my ass. Because you paid attention to the story. As long as you are reporting, it is hard to whack somebody that the world is watching."

Oh, but now the story takes another turn: Mr. McAfee says all his assets were in Belize (uh, didn't anyone tell him about the Caymans?) so his flight left him broke as a joke. But so far he's getting by with a little help from his friends:

After he arrived on South Beach, he said, a mysterious "Canadian friend" ordered another man he'd never met to drop off a wad of fresh $5 bills that McAfee later displayed to ABC News, pulling them from his coat pocket.

So let's refresh: He's owns to playing up the crazy and faking sick, then proceeds to wave around $5 bills dropped off by a stranger at the behest of an unnamed Canadian.

Serious question: Is John McAfee just fucking with us at this point? His history of playing the media isn't exactly a secret, and this New York Times article makes a pretty good refresher. We're starting to wonder whether this is some sustained stunt to prove a point about bloggers.

Mr. McAfee's true face? (Photo: Wikipedia)

Mr. McAfee.

The long, strange trip that is John McAfee's life has taken yet another unfortunate turn. Gizmodo reports that the colorful founder of the namesake antivirus company is now wanted for questioning in connection with a murder in Belize. Anyone who's ever seen an episode of any legal drama knows that doesn't bode well.

Suddenly, we're a lot less nostalgic for the Valley's countercultural days of yore.

Here's what we know so far: On Saturday, American expat Gregory Faull was killed.  Belize's Gang Suppression Unit have trained their sights on Mr. McAfee--who reportedly brags on the regular about his criminal connections. What's more, just last week, Mr. Faull complained of Mr. McAfee's gunfire and "roguish behavior."

If that's not sordid enough, Gizmodo has uncovered evidence that Mr. McAfee might have been experimenting with bath salts and other heavy-duty drugs.

The news comes on the heels of a lengthy piece that serves as a pretty good introduction to the bizarro, isolated life Mr. McAfee was living. It reads like a pulp novel you'd buy from a drugstore in some God-forsaken North Dakota town. For example:

 "Everyone who has tried to rob me, kill me, works for me now," he declared. This was not just good hacker logic, he explained, but a kind of public service. "None of these people are responsible, because they can't work. At some point, you've got to stop living for yourself. We as Americans have ripped off the world. We get to throw food away. It's insane."

It's easy to imagine how the people of Belize might have looked askance at that line of reasoning. Perhaps he should have been a little more sensitive, because God knows he could probably use a few local friends right now. This isn't even Mr. McAfee's first brush with the Gang Suppression Unit, who raided his compound back in May.

Hey, America: If running off to South America didn't solve everything for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, it's damn sure not going to work for you.

Mr. Kaspersky, looming large. (Photo: flickr.com/cebitaus

Let's say, hypothetically, that you are the founder and CEO of a major antivirus company, and you've a history of close ties to Russia's intelligence community, and you're being profiled by a writer from Wired. What's the shadiest thing you can imagine saying? Does it perhaps sound anything like this?

“It’s too much freedom there,” [Eugene] Kaspersky says, referring to sites like Facebook. “Freedom is good. But the bad guys—they can abuse this freedom to manipulate public opinion.”

God willing, this line was delivered in a whispery Batman voice. We're not even entirely sure what context would make this sound less ominous.

And if that's not cloak and dagger enough for you, consider what one "prominent member of Russia’s technology sector" told Wired: “A substantial part of his company is intimately involved with the FSB.”

Is all of Russia just literally a John le Carré novel?

But perhaps the single greatest thing in this entire crackerjack read is a throwaway line linking to this video, which is a commercial featuring Mr. Kaspersky and action star Jackie Chan.

Seriously.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VydJ8LYyhM&feature=player_embedded

But first, don't forget to download all your patches! (Photo: CinemaBlend)

This week, in questionable partnerships: The antivirus makers at Kaspersky Labs have teamed up with The Dark Knight Rises for "The People of Gotham City Sweepstakes." The winner gets to be Batman for a day (though without the onerous crime-fighting responsibilities), because why not?

If the name Kaspersky Labs sounds familiar, that's probably because it's the company that figured out the connection between the Flame and Stuxnet viruses.

The contest posits that the villainous Bane has unleashed a devastating computer virus on Gotham, and humbler Interneters like yourself must fight back, by entering this contest. We're envisioning a frustrated Batman, suited up to bash heads but instead peering over the shoulder of a computer technician, which just sounds thrilling.

In a statement released yesterday, founder and CEO Eugene Kaspersky sounded really, really excited about this contest and about The Dark Knight Rises in general:

Like the Dark Knight in his struggle against the insidious threats posed by Bane, Kaspersky Lab fights the equally insidious threats posed by cybercriminals all around the world; in this way we’re both quite simply ‘here to save the world.’ I think joining forces with The Dark Knight Rises is a compelling way to engage Batman fans across North America and reinforce our mission to fight cybercriminal activity around the world.

Sounds like someone will be attending a midnight screening in costume. Own up, Mr. Kaspersky: Was this whole contest cooked up as an excuse to compare yourself to Batman?

The grand prize winner will receive a "Batman New York City Experience," including "a personal hand-to-hand mixed martial arts training session" and "a life-size adult Batman costume," plus, of course, a Kaspersky gift bag. (Doesn't everyone just download these things nowadays?)

No word on whether the prize includes having Michael Caine serve as your butler or Christian Bale scream at you for 15 minutes.