Westeros is, at least, relatively free of red tape. (Photo: TMZ)

It's not a party 'til someone calls the cops! Or, in Sean Parker's case, the local county planning department.

The Carmel Pine Cone (nice) reports that Mr. Parker didn't secure the proper permits for the millions' worth of building he's doing at his wooded wedding venue in Big Sur. And so the Monterey County planning department (and also maybe the California Coastal Commission, yikes) has started poking around whether they've violated local construction restrictions:

"‘We have opened a code enforcement investigation on Ventana Inn,’ county planning director Mike Novo told The Pine Cone.”

Don't worry, though: Authorities haven't issued a stop-work order, so preparations can proceed apace, leaving locals plenty of opportunity to gossip. A local restaurant owner told the Pine Cone, “I’ve heard a lot of buzz about it.”

Daenerys Targaryen wouldn't stand for any of this.

[h/t the L.A. Times]

Only models look this good in Glass. (Photo: Google)

The world is rapidly sorting itself into two camps: Glassholes, and people who want you to take that damn thing off your face. The latest concerned parties, according to the Wall Street Journal: the Congressional Bi-Partisan Privacy Caucus.

Imagine that: A bunch of politicians worried about a world where everyone wears a camera on his face, ready to snap a picture of any shenanigans by public figures.

Yesterday the group wrote an open letter to Larry Page, expressing their concerns:

"As members of the Congressional Bi-Partisan Privacy Caucus, we are curious whether this new technology could infringe on the privacy of the average American."

So they've got just a few questions, like "how Google plans to prevent Google glass from unintentionally collecting data about the user/non-user without consent" and "what proactive steps is Google taking to protect the privacy of non-users when Google Glass is in use" (we assume it's just a flyer suggesting you stay out of bathrooms with Robert Scoble). They're also concerned about facial recognition technology.

Larry would never have to deal with this kind of question in his lawless disruptors' Utopia.

He's staring at a large pile of money, shimmering in the distance like an oasis.

Looks like there might be a suitor waiting in the wings for Tumblr, that scatterbrained belle of the ball. He's a real gray-hair, though. According to AllThingsD, the blogging site is talking to Yahoo about the possibilities for an alliance, an investment or even a lock-stock-and-barrel purchase. Ad Week says the highly hypothetical price tag could be as much as a billion dollars.

At this point, it might be easier to keep a list of the startups Yahoo hasn't considered acquiring.

AllThingsD pointed to recent remarks by Yahoo's CFO as a rationale. Basically, the company would do almost anything to shuck its nursing-home aura:

“One of our challenges is we have had an aging demographic,” said Goldman at the Boston event. “Part of it is going to be just visibility again in making ourselves cool, which we got away from for a couple of years.”

More than a couple of years, buddy. But if there's one thing Tumblr absolutely can promise, it's hordes of users 18 to 24.

GigaOm suggests, though, that there could be another would-be beau ready to make an offer: "We have heard that Yahoo is worried that Facebook could swoop in at the last minute and beat it to the buzzer." David Karp did turn up at the Facebook Home launch, but the notion is even more speculative than the Yahoo deal, which is far, far from a sure thing.

God knows with these two, though.

They'll also STING YOUR FACE OFF. (Photo: Flickr, Garrett Rooney)

Biz Stone's mysterious new startup, Jelly, has just closed a Series A.

An announcement on the company's Tumblr didn't disclose the total amount raise, but revealed that Spark Capital raised the round, with SV Angel piling on, as well.

Also participating are several individual investors who, we can only assume, were rounded up in the parking lot of last year's TED conference: Jack Dorsey, Bono, Al Gore, LinkedIn founder Reid Hoffman, Where Good Ideas Come From author Steven Johnson, Evan Williams and Jason Goldman, House (?!) director Greg Yaitanes, and Afghan entrepreneur Roya Mahboob.

It's still not clear what the company does. The announcement hints vaguely, "As mobile devices have taken an increasingly central role in our lives, humanity has grown more connected than ever—herein lies massive opportunity." Elsewhere, Mr. Stone has explained the name: "We are inspired by this particular animal because neurologically, its brain is more 'we' than 'me.' Also, for the past 700 million years, this decentralized structure has been wildly successful." Today's post about the fund raise was titled, "Business is 'Blooming.'"

So, maybe it's a goofy metaphor consultancy?

Fuck you, pay me. (Photo: flickr.com/s_w_ellis/)

Guess the august lawmakers of the United Kingdom aren't impressed by face computers, future cars and Star Trek inventions. Bloomberg News reports Google's outpost in merry old England is under siege from Parliament, which wants to know why the search company is barely paying any U.K. taxes.

Google claims that the London operation mostly handles marketing, and all the closers are in Ireland. But U.K. officials say they've got evidence Google ought to be playing more taxes locally, and, by God, they want their cut. According to Bloomberg News:

“Your company says you don’t do evil; you do do evil, you use smoke and mirrors,” [Public Accounts Committee chair Margaret] Hodge told California-based Google’s vice president for sales and operations in northern and central Europe, Matt Brittin. Hodge said Google practiced “devious, calculated and, in my view, unethical behavior.”

How many times a week do you reckon Larry Page has that motto tossed back in his face?

(Photo: NASA)

Microsoft recently updated its YouTube app for Windows Phones, but Google isn't too pleased with the results--going so far as to send a cease and desist. That's because Microsoft built in features allowing users to block ads. [The Verge]

A spokesman said they'd be "more than happy to include advertising but need Google to provide us access to the necessary APIs." [The Verge]

"Reading is an activity more likely to be on screen than on the printed page." So there's that. [BBC]

Car-sharing service Relay Rides has gotten the ax (locally at least) from the New York State’s Department of Financial Services, who said their insurance is “illegal and inadequate.” [PandoDaily]

Looks like, after technical problems, NASA's other-Earth-seeking Kepler Telescope is powering down. [Popular Science]

“Throw in with Apple and see if we can all make a go of this to create a real mainstream e-books market at $12.99 and $14.99.” That's the kind of email that, even if you are Steve Jobs, lands you in hot water with antitrust enforcers. [AllThingsD]

(Photo: Screencap)

Google made no attempt to top last year's I/O keynote, featuring skydivers. Instead, viewers were treated to a long, rambling meditation on progress from Google CEO Larry Page, who seemed none too keen on talking about Google Glass.

“Technology should do the hard work,” Mr. Page informed us all, “so that people can get on with doing the things that make them happiest in life.” He also suggested that, "being negative is not how we make progress." Somehow we doubt that outlook inspires Mr. Page to let his underlings off lightly when they screw something up.

The closest thing to a skydiver was when Robert Scoble popped up at the front of the line for Q&A, announcing himself as "one of the first glassholes." "Robert, I didn't appreciate the shower picture," Mr. Page replied.

But there were a few big announcements.

Google Maps Revamp The company has spruced up its flagship Maps product. Power the old gal up, and you'll get personalized recommendations and reviews from friends. Plus, you can now click on any point on the map and you'll get an info card with the option to get directions or open up StreetView--no more click-and-dragging the little orange man.

You also have the option of "EarthView," which is basically just Google Earth integrated into the service--no more downloading a separate app. You can now zoom all the way out to space and, apparently, see real-time weather conditions. (Not that that'll tell you whether you should wear a sweater tomorrow or not.)

Search You know that scene in Star Trek: The Voyage Home where Scottie picks up the mouse of the Apple II and tries talking to the computer? "The keyboard? How quaint."

"I dreamed of building that computer one day," admitted senior VO of search Amit Singhal when he took the stage to introduce today's big roll-out. "Little did I know that I would grow up to become the person responsible for building my dream." Google Now's conversational search is now available on the desktop (via Chrome), complete with voice recognition. You just say "OK Google," and away you go. This will make it incredibly easy to research luxury vacations while lying in bed eating leftover pizza, so thanks, Mountain View!

Plus Google Now is getting things like voice reminders and public transit info.

Google + A redesigned, card-based interface. Looks like the love child of Google Now and Pinterest. Photos look better. There are some hashtags. Zzz. Their "machine-learning algorithms" are also going to help you weed through your vacation photos. Thanks, HAL 9000! Also, they rolled out Hangouts as a cross-platform messaging app, available on Android, iOS, Gmail, etc.

Also among the announcements: a new subscription music service, atrociously named "Google Play Music All Access," to compete with Spotify; Google Wallet integration with Gmail.

Next year, Larry, bring the car.

(Photo: Screencap)

It's helped celebs like Zach Braff and Kristen Bell pull together the cash for their passion projects, but it looks like the Kickstarter gravy train has finally dumped a famous person right on her ass. Childhood sassiness role model and erstwhile teen witch Melissa Joan Hart's project has, sadly, failed abysmally.

Ms. Hart wanted to raise $2 million for Darci's Walk of Shame, about a school teacher who has sex with a waiter while in Thailand for her sister's wedding (really). She appealed to her fans: "By playing Darci, I will get the chance to once again be in a fun and hilarious Rom-Com much like Drive Me Crazy...only all grown up and having a roll in the hay with the hot actors in the film!"

Guess no one bit, though, because the numbers were so bad that Ms. Hart pulled the plug on the project. She scraped up only $51,605 from 315 backers.

In perhaps the most humiliating stroke for the showbiz vet, concerned backers are currently doling out advice in the comments section of the Kickstarter. For example, from before Ms. Hart canceled the fundraiser:

"It might even be a good idea already to shut this down, do some more planning using what you've learned from this experience, and come back stronger in a couple months. I honestly believe it will look better if you stop this with the intention of coming back with a stronger pitch than if you let it run to the end and it doesn't succeed."

Ouch. If we were Kristen Bell, we'd watch out for covert-ops sloths come to enact Ms. Hart's revenge.

Wu-Tang Clan coming at ya.

News from inside the Venn Diagram of rap and futurism: Vibe reports that this year's edition of the touring hip-hop festival Rock the Bells will feature "original virtual performances" from both Eazy-E (with Bone Thugs-n-Harmony) and Ol' Dirty Bastard (with the Wu-Tang Clan).

Both, obviously, have been dead for years. Rather than being left to rest in peace, they're being resurrected by the same sort of technology/nineteenth century magic trick--not technically holograms--that put Tupac on stage at Coachella last year. (It's not the same company, though--they're broke.) Their virtual versions will be engineered by the lavish randos of the 3D Facebook game Gig It, and approved by Eazy-E’s widow and ODB's momma.

Get the money, dollar dollar bill ya'll.

Maybe tone it down just a tad.

Looks like we've got a real barn-burner on our hands!

For months, hedge funder Chris Hansen and Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer have worked to relocate the Sacramento Kings to Seattle, which has been NBA-less for five years. Their plan: to make the owners, the Maloofs, an offer they can't refuse.  But the mayor of Sacramento--who happens to be former NBA star Kevin Johnson--doesn't want the team going anywhere. He's rounded up rival techies who might buy from the Maloofs and prepared a big bushel of subsidies for them. Last month, the league rejected the Seattle group's request to move the team.

And so here we are, at loggerheads and due for another NBA meeting today. But Steve Ballmer doesn't do gridlock. A source tells NBC Sports:

“He’s on a rampage,” said one source. “He assumed he could backdoor Sacramento with a willing partner in the Maloofs, but he underestimated Sacramento and now he thinks he can twist enough arms around the league to force his way into the association.”

Unfortunately, that approach is not making Mr. Ballmer any friends in the NBA:

According to league sources speaking to PBT under condition of anonymity, the recent power plays made by Seattle and the Maloof family have “started to weigh on the NBA to the point where any Ballmer-led proposal now or in the future could fall on deaf ears if he doesn’t change course.”

Another source is even more blunt: “Ballmer is playing a game of Russian Roulette with SEA’s NBA future. He can’t throw money at the problem like this is Microsoft.”

But how can you blame the man, when he sees his future as an NBA cheerleader slipping from his grasp?