British math genius Peter Backus was pretty convinced he was going to be alone forever. He didn’t presume this because of the number of cats he owned or because he seemed genuinely comfortable eating out at restaurants by himself. Instead, he wrote a paper (PDF) where he applied the Drake equation, a “probabilistic argument used to estimate the number of active, communicative extraterrestrial civilizations in the Milky Way galaxy,” to discern what exactly his chances of finding love were. Turns out, they weren’t so hot. Read More
The day is finally here. Though we knew porn studios were hypothetically working on developing apps for Google Glass, or at least shooting POV footage using them, ZDNet reports that MiKandi, the world’s “largest adult app store,” has announced they are officially working to bring porn to your face computer. Read More
Dolphins are brilliant and majestic creatures that can be confined to captivity and forced to perform water tricks for Churro-eating tourists wearing sunglasses with neck straps, or trained to sniff out 130-year-old torpedos and enemy swimmers. In the wild, they are beautiful, sophisticated animals that are arguably almost as intelligent as humans. Read More
One popular way ad agencies have learned to suck the lifeblood out of the web is to hijack popular hashtags and use them for their own evil branding purposes. Take the case of Jell-O, for example, whose marketers apparently convinced them they could tap into the millennial market by changing the meaning of “FML,” or “Fuck My Life,” a phrase deployed in times of great anguish, such as when your mom forgets to pack your lunch. Read More
Luna Loupe is a prolific writer. According to Amazon, the self-described “erotica author, geek and generally classy lady” has written 25 anthologies of completely bizarre, out-there paranormal sex novels.
Though she hasn’t updated her blog or tweeted since 2012, Laughing Squid picked up one of her stranger works out of the blue today. Called Someone to Cuttle, the erotic story revolves around a gay man who discovers and eventually has a sexual relationship with a trio of shapeshifting cuttlefish. “18+ only!” reads the warning. “Contains partial shifting, hot gay sex, and a cuttlefish shifter gangbang!” Read More
This season SoftBank Capital’s Nikhil Kalghatgi and Lerer Ventures’ Steve Schlafman heard from 10 startups elbowing to snag capital for their budding companies. The founders brought drive and passion to their pitches, but in the end only three could be finalists and only one the winner. Mr. Schlafman and Mr. Kalghatgi narrowed the pool by determining which of the startups had the biggest idea, the largest market to tap into and the most feasible plan. Read More
Feeling like it’s time to spice up your lingerie stash? Hot Topic, that suburban mall store that peddles t-shirts with slogans like “People like you are why people like me need medication” and exists purely as a foil to Hollister, has come to your rescue.
Equestria Daily, the hub for all things My Little Pony, reports that the goth-kid hangout is now selling hot pants with Rainbow Dash, one of the most popular ponies, emblazoned on them. “Black and rainbow stripe hot pants with Rainbow Dash on the bum,” reads the description. Sexy! Read More
Okay, we’ll admit it: a smartphone is almost as good as a boyfriend. Texting is a perfectly fine substitute for talking, a Snapchat of a penis is not that much less exciting than the real thing, and who needs to fall asleep to the comforting sound of your loved one’s snoring when you can drift off to dreamland guided by your favorite chillwave band? Read More
Paul Allen may be the undersung Microsoft cofounder, but dude apparently knows how to shred on guitar. The philanthropist and Seattle Seahawks owner announced on Twitter today that he and his band the Underthinkers will be releasing a debut album, Everywhere At Once, on August 6th. According to Amazon, the album is an “all-star, 13-song program of blues-based guitar rock nuggets” and will feature guests from Heart and Los Lobos. Guess you know what you’re getting your dad for Father’s Day! Read More
Hundreds gathered for the 17th Annual Webby Awards at Cipriani Wall Street last night in a ceremony that honored excellence on the Internet–fart jokes, GIF pronunciation debates and all.
Patton Oswalt began by observing, “Look at all these people taping this. By all means, record this shaky iPhone version, because this will never be on the Internet.”
“This whole thing was Kickstarted, but we didn’t quite make our stretch goal, so instead of Louis C.K., you have me as your host,” he added. Read More